Broken (a Niall Horan love story)

Chapter 2

***Navaeh's P.O.V.***

My head was swimming as I glanced around the almost deserted park and then back at my arm. It was already littered with the tiny little scars that I knew would never go away. It was almost as if they were laughing at me; making the hateful words go through my head numerous times before it became too much to bare and I just had to stop it somehow. I wasn't exactly sure if it was working; I didn't feel any better when I did it but it just sort of... distracted me. I knew for sure that I wasn't proud of myself for saying it. After all, every time I added a new line it was just another reminder that he had won again.

That time, it was different. I was going to end it all right there under the shade of the short- but not too short- tree. It was a little humorous, I thought, that the sun was shining on the day I would end it all. It never was bright out all the other times, and frankly I thought the scene would be a bit more depressing. I didn't know whether to be thankful for the happy weather or to despise it for being so wonderfully pleasant on the day I die.

In the end it was all the same though; I wasn't going to back out of this. No matter how hard I cried under that tree, no matter how much part of me was telling me to hang in there just a bit longer; my resolve only seemed to get stronger. By the time I actually brought the blade to my skin I was shaking with sobs that wanted to break through but I wouldn't let them. I squeezed my eyes shut as the pain started, and I waited impatiently for it to start to just numb everything else out.

But the feeling never came.

Before i could even get very far, something hit my arm; it jerked it to the side and I watched in shock as the razor slipped from my hand and into the tall grass where i knew it would be impossible to find. I wanted to curse the person who had kicked the ball, but i couldn't even bring myself to think it. Part of me was happy that it had happened.

''Hey! I'm sorry, my friends were being stupid,'' a boy's voice called and my head snapped to the side to look at him. He was running towards me quickly and, before I could even reach for my pile of books, i bolted towards the exit of the park. I figured the boy would just walk away after getting his ball and seeing that I clearly didn't want to talk. That way i could get my books when he was gone and everything would still be okay; I could still end it if I wanted to.

My phone started to ring as I ran further, and I answered it (fearing that it was the one phone call he had promised he would make and that if I were to miss it I would be in a world of trouble). ''Hello?'' i greeted shakily. It was partly from the pain in my wrist from the medium sized cut and partly because of my fear of who it could be.

''Is this the girl who just got hit with a football in the park?'' a male's voice questioned. I sighed in relief slightly when I realized it wasn't who I thought it was.

''Who is this?'' I questioned.

''My name's Niall, you left your books here,'' he informed me.

''Oh,'' I replied though I already knew that, ''you can leave them there. I'll get them soon.''

''Okay.''

''You didn't read them, did you?'' i interrogated quickly.

''No,'' he answered, ''just skimmed through to see if I could reach you in any way.'' I sighed in relief again and hung up as I headed back to the park. When I got there I could see him standing there with what looked like my books in his hand. I contemplated whether or not i should actually go over there and get them or just walk away without them. I couldn't take the chance that he would read something from my journal that he wasn't supposed to read.

I walked up to him quickly to get the books and then go, and when I finally reached him i held out my hands for the books. I made sure that my jumper covered my bleeding wrist as i held out my hands and set the books carefully in my hands. I turned to go after quietly thanking him but he grabbed the wrist I hadn't cut. I whirled around to face him just as another boy ran up to us and gave this Niall guy a first aid kit. ''Let go of me,'' I demanded as i tried to pull my arm away from him.

''No, I saw blood on one of your books. I'm sorry that the ball hurt you, but just let me help you and get it cleaned up,'' he sighed as he examined my face and then went to pull up the sleeve of my jumper.

''Don't,'' I warned but he didn't listen. He lifted up the sleeve and then froze, looking down at the wrist that i had cut into. I took his moment of momentary surprise pulled my arm away, quickly turning around only to be pulled back to him. I dropped my books; pulling against his grip to try and get away before I had to go through another lecture about how doing this to myself wasn't healthy. Yet, this boy-or should I say man- only grabbed the rubbing alcohol and pulled it from it's little pocket while gripping onto my other wrist tightly so that i wouldn't run away again.

''This is going to sting,'' he mumbled before pressing the disinfectant covered wipe to my wrist. I hissed in pain and pulled my wrist away only to have him grab it and hold it in place instead of my other wrist. ''Why?'' he suddenly asked as he dabbed at the cut repeatedly.

''Why what?'' I countered. 

''You know what I mean,'' he stated, pressing the wipe more firmly to my skin and making me hiss in pain again.

''I don't know why...'' I lied.

He scoffed, grabbing the gauze once the blood was gone and wrapping it around my wrist tightly yet loose enough that it wouldn't hurt me too much. ''That's the biggest load of bull I've ever heard. Everyone who does it knows why they do it,'' he protested as he continued with the gauze.

''Well, it's not your business so you can stop worrying about it,'' I brushed off his words as he finished the bandage, but he didn't let go of my wrist.

''But I cant,'' he replied. His thumb slightly rubbed against my wrist and he sighed heavily before continuing to talk. ''You shouldn't do this to yourself...''

Here it comes...

''You could really hurt yourself and that wouldn't be good,'' he continued, ''there are bound to be people out there that would be sad if you were gone.''

I guffawed, ''now that's the biggest load of bull I've heard.''

He looked up at me, his blue eyes seeming to stare into my very soul. They were full of worry and they made me question how rude I was being to him. ''It's not bull, there has got to be someone out there that would miss you if you were gone, and if there is no one than you can go ahead and consider me the first.''

I raised an eyebrow at him, ''you don't even know me.''

''True,'' he shrugged, ''but that doesn't mean that I don't care. I don't want to see anyone getting hurt, or hurting themselves, especially not if there's some way I can help.''

''You cant help,'' I told him.

''But I want to...'' he stated with a sort of pleading look in his eyes. There was a small pout on his lips as he looked down at my wrist again and I felt something inside me just break a little. I had never actually had someone want to help me before. Everyone just sort of walks away when they see something like those scars. ''I don't want you to do this to yourself,'' he muttered, ''when you need someone to listen to you, or if you just need someone there, I'll help you; okay?''

He looked at me with those eyes again and I found myself numbly nodding in reply. A smile spread across his lips and he pulled me into an unexpected hug. What just happened? I thought as I stood frozen in shock.

''I mean it,'' he assured me, ''I'll be there to help you.''

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yellow, guys! I realize this was probably a boring chapter but it's important. I  hope that all of you live very happy lives, but if any of you guys need someone to talk to or vent to like Navaeh in this story; I'll be happy to be your Niall. (Figuratively of course; I'm obviously not Niall). :) Have a great day!

-cow_queen