Blood In The Water | Juliette Ferras

I Am Not An Emotional Person

"You're an ass," I laugh, flicking one of the beads forward.

The crystal-clear dot rolls across Aaron's desk. His palm crushes it and deposits it in the wastepaper basket. I see his dimples return to his face. He's happier than he has been in weeks.

I don't know what's causing his unusually happy mood, but I have my suspicions directed at a sapphire-eyed girl with a tongue like a viper.

"Help me with these reports," Aaron demands, pushing a piece of paper toward me.

I look up from my bracelet making and scrunch my nose. The little beads are threaded in patterns on the nearly-invisible string. "I'd rather not."

He looks at me, incredulously. "Have you suddenly lost the ability to read?"

"Have you suddenly lost the ability to maintain tact?" I retort.

Aaron flicks through his booklet and sighs. His pen scribbles his signature over and over on different dotted lines. I know what it means; Every decision we make is an official law. Our view is the political view.

"You know," he says, surveying me. He looks like a grandfather with that angle. "I should have never let you read Shakespeare."

"All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players," I say, getting up dramatically. My hand goes to my forehead as I feign ignorance. "My liege, doth your horses arrive?"

Aaron looks at me as if I'm not real. I'm probably drunk off food; Not alcohol. Not that stuff.

I giggle. I actually giggle. The co-commander of Sector 45 giggled.

It's probably the fact that my brother and I never get to act like this. All these emotions that are bottled up usually explode when it's just the two of us. My resting bitch face is replaced with a smile.

I guess I haven't lost it after all. It takes me by surprise as I catch myself in Aaron's rectangular floor-length mirror. I touch the sides of my face to realize that I have dimples. They're impeccably symmetrical and identical to my brother's.

It makes me beam.

There's a knock at the door that jolts me back to reality. The snake on my finger tightens as I clamp the metal closer to my skin. It's a reflex; Reminding me to drop my smile and pretend like I have sucked all joy from the room I stand in.

"Alex?" Aaron calls.

I turn my attention to the girl at the door. "Juliette?"

My brother simply turns over the paper in his hand. "Deal with this, would you?"

I pass by him on the way to the door and gently squeeze his shoulder. I make sure Juliette and the guard behind her see this. My brother and I are a united front and nothing can tear us down.

You'd have to be incredibly stupid to try.

________________________________________________________________________________

Juliette's hands are encased in leather. My suit is the same, concealing everything from my high neck to my toes.

"What's going to happen to us?" She asks as we stop in an empty room. "Besides becoming weapons?"

I wonder if she knows the real reason Aaron and I found them. I wonder if she knows more about my family than she leads on.

"I don't know. Don't care," I say.

She glares at me. "What is your problem?"

"What is yours?" My voice is raised but still controlled. "You have no problem hanging onto every word my brother says, but with me, you seem to think you can do whatever you want. I am every bit your commander—your leader, as he is."

Her brow clears. "You're scared."

This girl is psychic. I'm sure of that now. The only other person who can read me like that is my brother, and I know for a fact he didn't tell her anything.

"I don't get scared," I counter. "Why are you knocking on my brother's door this late?"

She ignores my question. "You're scared that your authority will be undermined, so you're taking it out on me. I saw you smiling with your brother earlier. I saw you kill Fletcher so that he didn't have to—"

"—I wanted to," I cut her off. "I wanted to kill that crap sack. I was glad to see the knife buried in his chest."

Juliette stares at me in horror, then licks her lips and continues. "You have no idea what your brother is doing, do you? Does he even trust you?"

I ask myself that question everyday. No matter how many simulations I endure. No matter how much I try to please both my brother and father, I don't know if it will be enough for them to tell me everything.

"Did he tell you that he made me kill a child?"

I freeze. What?

I know Aaron. I know he wouldn't make anyone do that. He knows the emotional damage that comes with that.

She's lying.

In a matter of seconds, I've pushed her up against the wall. I have a blade pressed up against her throat. Juliette claws at my hands, but they're barely restraining her. She could easily overpower me if she tried.

This wasn't about hurting her. It was about showing her that the bond I share with my brother is irreplaceable.

"I hate liars," I whisper, dragging the blade across the air. "Don't tell me that's all you are."

She does something that makes me shiver. She places her fingers on the tip of my knife and wills it to fall by my side. "I'm not a liar."

I wait for the urge to stab her through the throat to return, but it doesn't.

I place the knife back in my suit. "Why were you knocking on my brother's door?"

Juliette scratches the back of her neck. "I wanted to talk to you."

"About?"

She blinks like she's been caught with one hand in the cookie jar. "I just wanted to get to know you."

I set my jaw. "That will never happen."