~ hot chocolate ~ Pt.1

480 3 4
                                        

I sat down on the couch and tried to place a shaky mug on our newly cleaned table. Sophie sat on the couch, kind of...down I guess? I grimaced. Lately, we'd been having tons of those days. 

Lately. I felt, emotionally distant from her.

Lately....

I don't even know. 

I don't know she what she wants

Is this relationship forever? 

Does she just want a winter thing? 

I-I'm just so confused.

And honestly, when we'd gotten married just short of 1 year ago, our vows were spoken so- wholeheartedly and now. 

i didn't know anymore.

Now when she spoke, her eyes were empty, she was less excited, less energetic. Less open to me, less open to talking to me. 

I was right here

And I always try to get her to open up to me, but I can't even remember the last time we did something together.

Can't remember the last time we laughed

Can't remember the last time we went on our annual ski trip. 

Can't remember the last time she opened up to me. I was her husband. I thought-

I was right here

Can't remember the last time she came to me when she had a nightmare. 

Can't remember the last time we didn't fight

Those long nights when we sleep in different rooms, to avoid the confrontation

Was this what falling out of love felt like?

But I would know if I was falling out of love.

In fact, I was falling even more in love.

In love with her hair more

Her eyes

Her laugh because I missed

Her smile

The wholehearted vows we made. 

And as I continue to look over at her.

She turns her head.

With the destruction of us, finally, we became no one.

Strangers. 

Like we never even met. 

And I feel like the book is closing. 

And maybe that's why I feel like crying.

But I felt like I couldn't let it close.

Because

I turn to look at her. 

I loved her. 

I love her blonde hair

I love her brown eyes

I love her laugh that sounds like a beautiful melody

I love her smile, sometimes empty but so full. 

I love everything about her. 

And yet I wish I could love her more. 

Then maybe she'd love me. 

But I'd always love Sophie Foster. 

Even if she was happier with someone else. 

Even if we couldn't be together. 

I love Sophie Foster. 

And my words drift sadly into the night sky, waiting for something. For someone to finally find them. 

Even if it took one-thousand years

But until then, my words would continue to drift away into the night, waiting for Sophie to find them. Waiting for Sophie to take a chance on me, to love me for who I was.

And I would keep searching, keep trying, no matter how long it took.

Because love was worth it.

I am right here

I will always be right here

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


"Ran out of things to say, metaphors for you. Why the ocean's clear instead of blue, why mountains in the distance had reminded me of you."

― Dominic Riccitello

A/N: Part 2 out soon! Don't worry it'll be a happier one!


LOST AND FOUND ~ sokeefe oneshot bookWhere stories live. Discover now