Villain x Hero (But it's funny)

OH SHIT NOW HE'S IN TROUBLE.

"Stand down, all of you! My quarrel's not with you, but with your leader." Onyx demands.

Phillip walks in, "I'm really sorry, Mister Hero, but like if you wanna go see the boss, like, you gotta get through me first- I'm really sorry about it."

He scoffs, "You fool! You don't see it!"

"Oh, that's insensitive."

"Don't you see what he's doing?! He's playing you! He doesn't care!!"

The henchman both looks and sounds pained by this, replying, "What do you mean, he doesn't care?"

"So blind. He's using you as a means to an end!"

"No, he's not!"

"You're just pawns in his game! He doesn't care about you! Don't you see?!"

Now with tears in his eyes, Phillip asks, "What? Really?"

Kylo now walks in.

"Phillip, what's taking so long? Finish him already!"

"Is it true?! You don't care about me?!"

"WOAH. Phillip, what's going on, are you okay?"

Sobbing, his henchman rats on this hero. "The hero said that I'm just a pawn in your game and you don't actually love and care about me!"

Kylo looks over Phillip's shoulder, screaming, "WOAH, ONYX, WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?!"

"I-I dunno! I was just tryna get in his head, you know?!"

"Why would you say that to him- He's sensitive!" The villain turns, "Phillip, I'm so sorry about what he said, I love you like a son, you are the most important thing of my life."

Also now in tears, the hero cries, "Wait what about me?!"

"SHUT UP. YOU'RE IN THE DOG HOUSE RIGHT NOW. Phillip, I love you."

Phillip holds up a finger as he sniffs, "You pinky promise?"

"Yes, Phillip, I pinky promise I love you." Kylo sighs, locking their fingers.

Phillip cries a sad "I love you" while the villain continues to yell at the hero.

Later on, Phillip makes them kiss and make up. Which also means Onyx is saved from sleeping in the dog house. (yay!)