Villain x Hero (But it's funny)

PROTECTIVE VILLAIN BOYFRIEND YAY

Onyx looks excited. He's in a nice outfit, Kylo is in a suit. "I'm so excited, it's our first actual date in years," the hero giggles.

Kylo nods along, "I know, right? I haven't seen you in normal clothes in a while.."

The two each sharing the humor of an eighth-grade boy, of course, have to turn this into something else. Onyx smirks, "You've seen me out of clothes a lot, though."

Kylo again nods. "Yep. A lot of that."

Suddenly, a man walks up. He looks like an asshole. "Excuse me, twink," he pushes past Onyx, almost knocking the boy over.

".. that was rude," Onyx sighs, to which Kylo agrees, "very.. Excuse me for a second, babes."

Before the hero can utter another word, Kylo walks after the man, his accent a bit toned and intimidating. "Excuse me, sir! Sir-"

"Yo, what's up?" The guy tips his head upward, trying to act cool (he's acting a fool, is what he's doing).

Kylo sighs, his subtle smirk almost peeking through, "I'm so sorry to ask, sir, but- Could you write something down, just on this napkin for me real quick?"

"Uhm.. And why should I do that?" The kid is getting on the villain's nerves.

Kylo chuckles, "Oh, well, you see, you just bumped into my boyfriend back there, right? You were very rude.."

The guy shrugs, "Uhh, yea, and?"

"Yes, well you see, it's my day off, and I'm on a date with my boyfriend here, and, you're ruining both my date and my day off," Kylo nods to his own words as if to get them through the thick skull of the man standing in front of him.

The idiot is still smiling. "Why should I care?"

Kylo sighs, "You see, I have a very busy job, very important, and these days off are very few and far between, and you come to me and my boyfriend," he glances over slightly at Onyx, "on my day off, and you try and ruin it. So, I was hoping you could write your name down on this napkin, so when I get back to work, I can find you, and I know whose parents to call when I kill you."

"Oh, he's so hot-" Onyx murmurs.