Stay boy 3

Chapter 13

For as long as I can remember, whenever things were going great it was only a matter of time before they started to go bad. When you are on top, a thing as simple as a foolish mistake can knock you off your pedestal and so we are advised to climb and maintain. That's the law of the universe. 

When I look back at how good things were with Star boy and I, it makes me feel numb. Everything is indeed seasonal, even happiness. I missed that happiness. I want to enjoy him without guilt or feeling of embarrassment. I want to love him and not feel ashamed about it. He was my ride or die. I really saw us going places together but I just can't get myself to look past Stacy. Even if I look past his double life I didn't see myself looking past her.

My first boyfriend, Steven cheated on me and nothing he did made me forgive him. I wanted to but I feared what people would think of me. I have the same feeling when I think about forgiving Star boy. I didn't want to end up a delusional woman like my mother. I want to be a strict woman with standards.

I am human and we were designed to forgive. We have done so much and the most high forgives us but I fall short where forgiving is concerned.

Cedric: Can I see you tonight?

I read his message and my mind telepathy back to the other night. He was such a gentleman. He actually made me want to fall in love with him. He treated me like the Queen I want to be but when he kissed me and Star boy's image appeared at the front of my mind I felt guilty. Even though I told him it was over I still haven't found the strength to resist him and I always somehow goes back to fucking him. When I see him and hear his tantalizing voice my leg spreads so easily like peanut butter on toasted bread.

Me: Hi Cedric

Me: I'll let you know love

I wanted to see Cedric. I like the royal feeling I get when I am around him.

Me: Tell you what... Just hit me up when you are ready. I'm down for whatever.

Cedric: Great! You just made my day

Me: Sml TTYL

I was excited. When he took me out the other day I had such a good time. He danced with me. I felt like there was no one else in the world but he and I. The feeling was heavenly. I could get used to a charmer like him. Sigh if only men would stay that charming.

Star boy: Hi baby

Me: Nyla isn't by me right now

Star boy: Lol what's that supposed to mean?

Me: I think you already know

Star boy: Kmt Ash chill

Star boy: Stop treating me this way

Star boy: Anyways, your car just arrived

Star boy: No more taxi baby

I almost screamed and jumped. I really needed a car. That was one of the things that made me so crazy about Star boy. He is very thoughtful and he knows what I want always. A part of me feared taking this car. I didn't want to lead him on. I wanted to see where I could take this thing with Cedric, you know, see how long the spark will last.

Me: I hope you don't think that car will change things between us.

Star boy: Sigh I know Ash

Star boy: It is just a gift

Me: Ok well, in that case, thank you.

Star boy: Yes baby

Star boy: Where are you?

Star boy: I can drive it to you and you take me back home

Me: Ok sounds like a plan. I'm on the hustle.

Star boy: Ok baby

Fuck! I felt the top gyal bulb in my head getting brighter and brighter. All I need now is more leverage and a ring on my motherfucking finger.