And it just feels
Tight
Tight
Tight
Tight
In my chest
And I'm stuck
Clutching the shrapnel against my collarbones
Tucking it into a locket to wear around my neck
Because I know this boy would bleed for me.
I know this boy has bled for me.
And I am holding shrapnel
In a locket against my chest
Wondering how long it's going to take
To feel okay again
I don't know if I'm ever gonna feel okay again.
This time
I don't feel safe in my own body
It feels too much.
It has turned into a noose
Something I swore would never happen
Something I swore would not control me
But I find him
Accusing me of witchcraft
And the scariest part
Is that I am all too eager to hang.
I am all too eager to be finished
I once swore
I would never let myself
Become attached enough to my body
To let it drop
To let it strangle my soul
From it's own bloody hands
I'm trying to remember
The last time I felt truly safe
In my own body
And I am remembering tinctures
And potions
And spells
And trying to force myself into healing
And I have discovered
That I am a witch
Ready to hang
Ready to burn
Ready to sink
And this tightness
It isn't going away
It's going to stay
For as long as it takes
To feel okay.
