I've always loved sunsets.
They are the beginning of the end.
This boy
Is a sunset.
He only ever sold the easy stuff
Antidepressants from his mom's medicine cabinet
Cigarettes from his father
Marijuana from his older brother
The king of gateway drugs.
I never needed a high.
I always got mine from his touch.
But I learned my diction from his fingertips
This difference between "maybe"
And "convince me"
Between heart ache
And heart break
Between innocent
And naïve
I know.
Words are my superpower.
He always said we'd make a great team
That I was very persuasive.
A people person.
But that wasn't how I got my adrenaline rush
I waltzed over lines like they were invisible
I stepped on toes
I broke barriers
Even still
I am always talking
Touching
Learning
Remembering
But never regretting.
You can't regret your choices
Until you regret
Some fiber of your being
I never want to be the kind of person
That has to hide them self
Inside of somebody else
I am too much to fit
I have more nerve in my pinky finger
Than most people do in their entire body
Just ask vodka boy.
He'll tell you about the time I called his friend
(The one I'm not supposed to ask too many questions)
A "fucking douchecanoe"
Because he stole my chocolate milk at lunch
Or the time I plastered my middle school in posters
Even after the principal called me ridiculous
I stand up for what I believe in
Even if it might land me somewhere I don't want to be
And that's why he fell for me.
That's how I wrapped him around my finger.
Once I decide to do something
It gets done.
It doesn't matter what
Who
Or how
And that's why the drug dealer
Used to call me
"Baby doll".
Until the second time around
When got sick of his boxer's heartbeat
(Drug dealers aren't very smart)
And dumped him into such a big funk
His best friend called me
And asked me to take him back
He was an urban healer
A sunset
The beginning of the end
And the second time around
I cracked his heart
Even if the first time around
He cracked mine.
//don't date drug dealers. It will not end in your favor. Trust me. All my love to you, Asha//
