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CHAPTER ELEVEN
"YES, IT'S DUFIE who you're talking to." The girl that I'm serving said to the person behind the call and her name verifies what I was thinking. I get a giddy feeling that maybe I can make a new friend. This is the first time I'm seeing her here and I hope that she starts to come here frequently. That could make us friends. Like the friendship between me and Dario.
In my five years at MIT I have known people that I could call friends but it stops the moment we leave the school grounds and those I was close with didn't last during the five years and it was hard to maintain friendships with them. No matter how hard I tried.
It sometimes gets so lonely.
This year I may have my group members surrounding me, a couple of times during the week I spend time with them but the topic is always about our project. And most of them have other friends. I have no sense of belonging with them.
Josué is different.
While I try to stop his affections it doesn't stop me from wondering why he likes me and what about me that seems to get attention. We did small group work together during our first year but it has been so long and after that all sort of communication between us stopped.
During my first year it was only when I was too consumed with finding a good balance with school and work. Finding a structure so that I don't get overwhelmed. It doesn't always help but I haven't got a burnout yet so it must be doing its job.
Mrs Bozzelli had also left town, she passed by the bakery as she left with her kids. She left so fast as if the devils were right on her trails. One of the patrons that was the most welcoming in the town, she'll be missed. She didn't mention anything about the warning she gave me, only a small smile filled with sadness was her parting gift. The warning had pushed towards the back of my mind the more Dario visited the bakery but when Mrs Bozzelli passed by the thought came to the front.
I should heed to her warning but he has consumed everything that I'm not sure I'm strong enough to part away from him. Maybe one day I'll be strong enough to do that but I just hope that by that time I'm not in deep or else I won't know what to do with myself.
My feelings have never been strong for anyone thus I've never experienced a deep sense of heartbreak. I shake my head to remove myself from that stuff, just because Dario is paying some attention to me it doesn't mean that he's interested or anything in that direction. I'm sure that our feelings are the same.
We both just like conversing with each other. I like the way he pays attention to me, it makes me feel like I'm the only person in that moment, that I can drone about anything and he'll still listen to me.
I never had those feelings with anyone even with my parents. They were too busy and they didn't seem interested in what I found interesting so I learned to bottle them in. I made sure not to mention meaningless things to them.
