sorrow / s.sallow x reader

chapter eleven - guilt

All the classes had ended and it was finally time to head towards the Undercroft. I didn't know how I was going to explain everything to Sebastian but realistically, I was there for him through his darkest moments and even thought he ridiculed me, he's the only person I could trust with this.

I creeped my way to the Undercroft and Sebastian was already waiting in there. My eyes forced themselves to look him up and down, how was he so perfect?

Focus.

''Sebastian, I'm glad to see you actually came.'' I spoke as I walked over to him.

''Of course I came, now tell me what's going on.'' His gaze softened.

''I will but first, tell me about this Leander incident.'' I couldn't even speak his name clearly, it brought that much disgust to me.

We sat down on the blanket that still remained from our last encounter here, and Sebastian told me everything.

I was becoming teary-eyed, I honestly could not even process all that I'd just heard.

''Thank you for coming to my rescue Sebastian.'' Hanging my head low.

''I couldn't let that happen to you, I'm going to keep an eye on you for the future.'' He sternly said.

I nodded my head.

''Now, tell me what's been happening with you.'' I notice he looked concerned.

Sighing, I explained majority of what had happened.

''You're telling me, Isadora is communicating to you through these noises in your head and the books? And you saw a hollow figure which could have been her that day for Quiddich tryouts?'' Sebastian was in disbelief.

''And that's not all of it, there's been occasions where I will stare into a mirror and my reflection looked almost.. demonic.''

His lips slightly parted.

''Why didn't you tell me all this sooner?''

I couldn't even maintain eye contact, ''You know why I didn't tell you sooner.''

He knitted his brows almost like he didn't even know what he had said.

''What do you mean, I know why?''

I started to get rather riled up, are you telling me he forgot? The one thing that has been eating me up for months, and he doesn't remember?

''The night when your uncle died. You don't remember what you said to me?'' My voice was tense.

I stood up.

Slightly raising my voice, ''You are telling me, you don't remember that conversation about me telling you how much guilt I felt about-'' My eyes were welling up as I couldn't even speak his name properly.

''about Professor Fig.'' I continued. ''You told me..that you endured much worse and that I was ridiculous for feeling like it was my fault.''

Sebastian didn't even know what to say, he just stood up right in front of me.

''You wondered why I haven't spoke to you like I used to?'' I looked him straight in the eye.

''I just presumed you couldn't bare to be around me knowing what I had done.'' He stared blankly.

I was almost shouting at this point, ''Sebastian, I never cared about what you did to your uncle. He didn't care about you or Anne, you did the right thing. What you said that night bothered me more than anything.''

He held a gloomy look.

''I know I told you most of what had happened to me but I didn't tell you the full story about the repository.''