sorrow / s.sallow x reader

chapter one - loss

It's not been long now since I lost Professor Fig, I miss him dearly. I'll never forget the look on his face when I told him I was going to inhale the magic left from the repository. He must have thought he failed in teaching me. I'll never forgive myself for it. I pushed away everyone, all my loving friends. I pushed away the one person that made me feel whole, Sebastian Sallow.

Me and Sebastian were always together no matter what. Always on adventures, enduring the beautiful scenery around us, helping each other through everything. After the incident with his uncle, I spoke little words with him. Not because I was disappointed in him. Frankly, I was glad he killed his uncle, his uncle didn't care about him or Anne. I'm glad he's dead.

But, when I told Sebastian about how guilty I felt about Professor Fig, I was pushed away. Sebastian told me that my guilt was ridiculous, he told me that what I went through was nothing compared to what he did. I felt hurt, I know that his actions were eating him up from the inside but he had no right to tell me that my guilt wasn't needed. It was right at that moment when I started to grow resentment towards him.

As for my other dear friends, I couldn't let them get hurt from my actions. I had to make the heart breaking decision to cut myself off from them.  I miss them so much.

You see, this magic I consumed came with consequences as expected. My emotions were heightened and I couldn't control them. I would do such unimaginable things. I was afraid to harm anyone else around me.

Nobody knows I consumed this magic. Well anybody that is alive anyway. I've just about learnt to control it but there are moments when I can black out and do such things then wake up with no recollective memory of it. I'll wake up covered in blood, clothes torn, with no memory of what happened.

Even when I'm fully aware of my actions, I couldn't care less. I've lost everyone I cared about. Why should I care about others?

I'm about to start my sixth year at Hogwarts, I'm dreading seeing all the familiar faces of those I once cared about. But most of all, I'm dreading to see his face. I hope he knows I despise him, he deserves to know how he made me feel that day. I decided to stay in a cottage that Professor Weasley generously let me have. It's up in the mountains, surrounded by just nature itself. No distractions and certainly no people. The view is breath-taking, I don't know why Professor Weasley wouldn't want to live here, it's gorgeous. Then again, I had no where else to stay for summer. I refused to stay at Hogwarts. But now, I've got to return. I just hope my stay goes quick so I can vanish from that place.

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''You failed me'' Professor Fig's voice echoes.
''You failed us all'' Echos of those I once cared about surrounds me.
''Don't say that'' I scream. ''Please stop'' I continue.

All of a sudden, the light hits my eyes and I wake up finding myself in the comfort of my home. I keep having nightmares such as this, it's draining. I just wish it could all go away.

By the sounds of the birds chirping and the golden sun shining through my windows, it must be time for me to get ready.

I'm not happy at all about this but I do need to finish my studies after all. As I arise from my bed, I fumble around looking for all the things I bought in preparation.

''At least I'm more prepared than last year'' I sigh.

An hour passes and I'm finally all packed up and ready to arrive to the hell that awaits me.

Out of nowhere, an owl arrives to the cottage and leaves me a letter.

I quickly open the letter to reveal a note from Ominis.

''Dear, Y/N, I know it has been a while since we've spoken to one another but I was wondering if you could meet me at the Hogwarts Express. There's a lot we need to catch up on. I'll be waiting - O.G''

I have missed Ominis the most if I'm being completely honest, he never fails to make me feel better when I'm going through hell. I don't know whether to meet him. But maybe I should.

I place the letter in a draw and decide to meet him.

I finally make my way outside and start heading to the Hogwarts Express.

After that exhausting walk, I'm glad to say that I made it. Now, where is Ominis?

I push through some people and then finally my eyes dart towards the red light that illuminates through the crowd. There he is.

My whole body starts tremble as I slowly make my way towards him. He's changed. He must have had a growth spurt, I can't believe how tall he's gotten. It seems like it was only yesterday when he was not much taller than me.

''Ominis'' I shout. I run up towards him and hesitate to give him a hug, but I just had to.

I startle him a bit.
''Sorry, I didn't mean to make you jump''
I completely forgot he's not much of a hugger.

''It's okay'' He lets out a slight chuckle.
Merlin's beard, his voice has seriously deepened since the last time I saw him.

''Franky, I'm quite surprised you even turned up to meet me. We haven't spoken at all since...'' He stops.
''Well since you convinced me to not turn in Sebastian'' Looking dull from that incident.

I turn pale at mention of Sebastian. I was never going to turn him in because his actions were justified. However, I don't think I'll ever forgive him for what he said so harshly to me that night. Like I said, I despise him.

''It was the right decision..'' I reply. ''Now shall we get onto to the train?'' Hoping to get out of this rumbling crowd.

''Just a moment'' Omini stops me. I don't see why we can't get on the train right now, we're both prepared so what's got him waiting?

''Ominis!'' A low voice shouts from behind me.
Please don't be him, please don't be him.

''Sebastian! I was waiting for you! And guess who else is here''

Why didn't I see this coming sooner.

I turn around to see a grown Sebastian Sallow, looking towards me. His face shows that he is not happy about me being here. I stare into his eyes with such hatred. This is going to be an interesting ride.

''Y/N'' Sebastian boldly says.

''Sebastian'' I scoff.