𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐬 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭, charlie conway

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐕𝐄 | deadbeat club

CRYSTAL AND CARRIE STAND at the entrance to Macy's in the mall, waiting for Chris to emerge from the bathroom so they could all venture in together. Today was an exciting day for the two girls — dress shopping — and a far less exciting one for Chris. After all, he was the one who'd have to hold their bags all day.

Chris wasn't exactly eager to attend the dance, but he knew he had to. Not only did he have to watch out for Crystal, he had to babysit Carrie to keep her from getting drunk or going off somewhere she shouldn't. The twins hadn't attended a dance since their freshman homecoming because Carrie was found throwing up after binge-drinking with some older guys. He couldn't trust her though he wanted to.

Chris joins them, sighing heavily.

"Alright, so Crystal and I are gonna go to the dresses, but you should go to the menswear or something, Chris."
"I don't need anything for this, I'm fine." Chris absolutely hates trying on clothes in changing rooms, and even the act of shopping in general.
"Mom said you need some things, go get them... she's paying after all."
Carrie flashes Donna's credit card, Chris taking it from her. "When I'm done, I'll meet you in your section. I'll make the purchase for all of us after that."
"Yes sir," she scoffs, crossing her arms, "mom trusts me with the card."
"Well, she doesn't know what I know. I don't trust you."
"C'mon Chrissy, can we go now?" Crystal pulls on his sleeve. "I'm excited!"
"Yes, you girls can go on ahead."
Crystal takes Carrie's hand and they make a break for it, leaving Chris in the dust.

"Nothing too short or too tight!" He calls, quieting when he realizes they can't hear. "Or too expensive..."

The girls ride up the escalator to the section of formal dresses, Crystal excitedly leading them around. Forgetfully, she takes them to the kids section, immediately entranced by a shiny dress.

"Bad news, gem — you're too big for the kids section. But that means you get to wear juniors now." Carrie calmly explains, Crystal slowly taking her eye off the child's dress.
"Juniors! I always wanted your juniors dresses but they never made them small enough."
"...I know."
Carrie was a very different when she was just with her family. She was able to stay in control, distract from the impulses and focus on taking care of Crystal or the house. It hurt more that it couldn't be that way all the time.

Carrie prioritizes Crystal as the two comb the racks, knowing she'd be able to come back and decide more quickly which dress she wanted. But the silence of the search was leaving room for her depressive thoughts to creep in. She couldn't help but think about how Crystal had (essentially) a date to the dance, while she would have to awkwardly walk in beside her twin brother who cared for her more than she deserved. She was upset that Cole didn't ask her, considering that for the past few weeks they'd kept up talking (and kissing, no blowjobs though).

"...What type of dress do you think Charlie would like?" Crystal asks.
"Why does it matter what Charlie likes?" Carrie replies, frankly confused by her question. Why would Crystal care what he thought of the dress? She knew that if it were her, she wouldn't have a second thought.

"Well he invited me to be his date, I wouldn't want to make him regret the decision. I should look nice and I want to look nice."
Carrie feels her heart about to break as Crystal explains. It was hard for her to imagine Crystal before the surgery already feeling that strong need to conform to please someone else. She was just so little... she lived to make others happy.

"You don't have to dress for him, you pick whatever you like and Charlie will like it just as much." Carrie stops her search, stumbling upon the ugliest dress of all time. "Not to mention boys know nothing about fashion. You could wear this neon yellow atrocity and he'd think you look fine... which you wouldn't."
The eyesore of a dress makes them both laugh, prompting them to propel their search further.