𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐬 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭, charlie conway

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘-𝐎𝐍𝐄 | pennies

     CRYSTAL'S ROOM AT CHILDREN'S Minnesota in Minneapolis doesn't feel like it could be in a hospital. There are large windows to let in light, no need for the dreaded fluorescents. Though she's miserable, she's comfortable there in her relaxed clothes. Despite the fact that she's now in a vicious chemotherapy program, she isn't dosed every day, which means she can move freely without the constriction of an I.V. most of the time.

The Nelsons had a new routine in place from the first day Crystal stayed in the hospital. Since it was the summer, Chris moved into the room with her, essentially. Carrie and Donna would come visit during the days, as would Charlie. The former two still struggled to handle the facts of the situation at hand, and couldn't take care of themselves because of it. Chris had to remind them to eat, often taking them to the cafeteria to ensure they do — physically brushing Carrie's teeth for her each time she came to visit because she didn't have the will anymore.

Chris had even left his job for the moment to take care of her. And sure, she didn't need to be watched all the time, but he was always worried for her. Someone needed to be her primary caregiver, the person her doctors would speak to and the nurses would check in with; someone needed to dry her tears each morning. But when somebody came to visit her, he felt a load off his shoulders. Chris would go for walks on the grounds — it was the peak of summer, after all — and maybe even go home to relax in his own bed. He'd go work out each evening.

He tried his hardest not to think about it, but Crystal's situation was dire, just as it was the last time. Her brain cancer had returned, creating another tumor nearly right next to the old one. It managed to go unnoticed, meaning the cancer spread — that was how it festered in her lungs. The amount of cancer in her lungs baffled her doctors, at a loss for how it wouldn't have been an issue until just that moment. Chris tuned out when the doctors diagnosed her: stage three brain cancer.

The course of action for treatment right now was chemotherapy. They needed to stop the spread and keep her stable before they would even think about operating on the tumors, and they couldn't operate on her brain again, considering what had happened the last time. If they nicked a nerve again, she could lose something even more crucial than her memories. Providing she stayed healthy, they could remove the smaller tumor from her lungs and get her on the transplant list. The doctors believed that because Crystal was healthy otherwise and had been largely unbothered despite the severity of her conditions, she was the most likely to beat it of many.

Charlie ran heavily with this belief that she would make it. He knew the diagnosis and the treatment plan, but besides that he never mentioned it. It was as if a part of him knew better than to ask. He knew it was better to distract Crystal than dwell with her. So he ignored the I.V. in her arm, or the nasal cannula (when he could), or the vital checkings from the nurses when he was with her. That was his way of coping with it.

Crystal has the biggest smile on her face when Charlie arrives around lunch, toting food from Mickey's Diner for her and Chris.

"Thank you Charlie!" She chirps. The sight of Charlie prompts Chris to take his food and be on his way.

"Anything for my girl." He kisses her cheek and she giggles, fiddling with her cannula before taking it out. "Crystal, did your nurse say that it was time to take it out?" Charlie sat beside her. He knew that she was supposed to be on oxygen all night and alternating hours of the day, and that she tended to find it annoying and would rip it out. He wanted nothing more than for her to get better, so he watched these things like a hawk.

"No... but it's annoying and I can breathe just fine!"
"Crystal..." Charlie sighs. "Honey, I need you to keep it on. I know you can breathe fine without it, I know, but they're trying to make sure you have the best quality of air to strengthen your lungs."
"I only have another 15 minutes!"
"Then you're almost done!"
Crystal finally gives in, enjoying the food and Charlie's company. Chris decides to head out to the city pool for the afternoon, seeing it's a 90 degree day, leaving them alone. Charlie takes a VHS tape of Rocky IV from his jacket pocket, one he rented from Blockbuster, and gets up to put it on the TV.