𝑹𝑬𝑨𝑳𝑴 𝑶𝑭 𝑺𝑯𝑨𝑫𝑶𝑾𝑺 ⇢ Gojo Satoru

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐗𝐗𝐗𝐈𝐕 - 𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐖𝐄 𝐁𝐔𝐈𝐋𝐓 𝐀 𝐃𝐘𝐍𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐘

YASHIRO MUST HAVE KNOWN HER WELL, because the moment he laid eyes on her beautiful sunset gaze, he knew he would never get an answer. Mikazuki was guarded, he'd seen it since their first encounter in that crowded nightclub. She wore this armour around her heart and her soul, hoping it would fend away any semblance of emotion.

The Kinzoku shook her head once again, grey strands of hair falling at each side as she set her cup down.

"I'm an idiot" she mumbled, more to herself than anyone else "I was the one who wanted to keep this whole thing casual, but I still showed up to your place, expecting things, feelings" she took a deep breath "I'm sorry, I'll leave now"

The sorceress stood, getting ready to bypass the entryway and head back into the black night, but before she could regain her bearings, Yashiro stopped her. The man stood in front of her, gripping her wrist delicately as his fingers tightened around her skin. Mikazuki looked up, silently wondering why all the fear she'd felt when Satoru laid hands on her was absent the moment Yashiro's fingers grazed her skin.

With Gojo, she felt caged – trapped into a situation she could not escape, a fate she did not want. Every single second by his side, even when she sued to worship the ground he walked on, was like torture. Mikazuki never had the chance to be herself with him, she was just another girl, living a life she did not wish for – a life that was never meant to be hers. Yashiro was different, he was soft and safe, all the things she could not crave. She was meant for a life of blood and hunting, the life of a shaman.

The lawyer pulled gently on her wrist, slowly guiding the sorceress back into the chair. The woman sighed, accepting defeat and watching as Yashiro let go before he too regaining his spot right in front of her. He looked tired, strands of pale blonde hair brushing against his forehead as he took a deep breath.

"Sit. There's no point in leaving when the thunderstorm's still out" he called, and although his tone was firm, Mikazuki knew it wasn't a command "Besides, we need to talk"

We need to talk. As if those words ever meant something positive. No, Mikazuki knew better, which is why she huffed out a laugh, burying her head in her hands and pushing her grey hair back with a nervous smile on her face.

"I'm sorry" Mikazuki repeated again, this time more out of habit than of truth.

She was always sorry. Sorry for leaving, sorry for staying, sorry for existing. It was the only life she'd known, but the man in front of her softened at the words – almost as if he expected them, and maybe he knew her well enough by now to tell. Yashiro smiled softly, caressing her face as he brushed strands if grey hair out of the way, the pads of his thumbs slowly grazing her skin. Mikazuki stilled at the touch, skin singing in glee at the softness of it all.

"There's nothing to apologize for, I just want us to be on the same page" Yashiro spoke calmly, drawing invisible circles on her cheeks before pulling back "What am I to you, Mikazuki?"

How could such a simple question render such a powerful sorceress completely speechless, as if the air had been punched out of her lungs, stolen in a single breath. Mikazuki shivered, Yashiro's touch still lingering against her skin as hesitation flickered in her ambar gaze, the molten gold mixing with the reflection from the fireplace.

What am I to you, Mikazuki? She didn't know, or at least she didn't know it in the same way she used to know other things, other people. Like she used to know love, like she used to know her heart beat in sync with Gojo Satoru's. Except... she hadn't really known, had she?

"I..." the sorceress trailed off, words failing her once again as a confused expression appeared in her face.

Yashiro nodded, as if the silence stretching between them was good enough of an answer. For him, it was. He'd spent enough time with Mikazuki to know that look in her eyes, and in that single moment as they sat by the warm fire, Yashiro realized he didn't need anything else. Kinzoku Mikazuki was a woman of very little words and even less feelings, yet what he saw in her gaze was not simple care, it was something else.

It certainly wasn't what he was looking for – it was not love, for she did not have space for that particular feeling at the moment, but it was the closest thing she would ever get to feel from now on. Yashiro took a deep breath, making up his mind as he fell to his knees in front of Mikazuki, hands still cradling her face like she was the most precious thing he'd ever held.

"Let me tell you what you mean to me." He began, the soft honeyed tone in his voice drawing the sorceress in like the first time they met "Kinzoku Mikazuki, you are the most amazing woman I have ever met. You don't let fear hold you back, you live your days like they are your last. You don't hesitate when it comes to the people you love and you will fight to the death for those you care about. You've been hurt and have hurt other people, but you refuse to let that define you. You are unstoppable."

This is what she had dreamed of for the longest time, for someone to look at her and have heart in their eyes. But this wasn't it – it wasn't enough. It was a selfish thing to believe; that this man who somehow felt for her, who poured out his heart and gently offered it to her, was not meant for her, and she not meant for him. Her destiny had been set in stone the moment she was born, and it was later rewritten when she made the choice to let go of everything for the sake of revenge. Love had no place in her plans, no matter how tempting it was.

Mikazuki sighed, gripping his hand gently as she moved it away from her cheek. She could feel tears gathering in her eyes, but she was tired of crying for love, and so none of them ever made their way down her cheeks.

"But I am afraid" Mikazuki spoke calmly "I locked my heart away a long time ago, to keep it safe from anyone who dared break it. For the longest time, I thought I couldn't love..."

For the longest time, she didn't want to.

"But then you came along, and every time I think of you, all I can think of is home. You feel like home, and I live all my days and nights wanting to come back to you"

Gods, she was such a hypocrite. Talking like this, saying these things... like she meant them. And maybe somewhere, deep inside in the chambers of her heart, she did. Every fibre in her being was telling her to run to him, to forego her plans and give it all up for him, but Mikazuki was not naïve enough to ever believe she would be able to live like that. She was cursed, from the inside out, and the hatred she carried within would not be washed away by any sentiment – not even love, if that's what lived in the depth of her heart.

Yashiro was crying now, believed this declaration of love was anything else but a rejection. Mikazuki could almost hear his heart shattering, the pieces falling to the ground as she swept the tears away with the pads of her thumbs, her expression calm even as she watched the slow realization sink in. This was never meant to be a love story – and even if it were, it would never be theirs.

"You can have me as many times as you want, but I will never be yours. Not in soul and not in body. I am not meant for you, Yashiro, just like you are not meant for me"

In a single second, she'd become exactly what she promised she would never be. She could see it in his eyes, too; the calm everblues of his stare a perfect mirror, the reality of what she'd turned into staring right back at her.

It was just like the last time, standing on that damned rooftop while rain hammered against her skull. Except, this time she wasn't playing the part of Kinzoku Mikazuki, but that of the one person she feared she'd eventually become. She was Gojo Satoru, breaking someone else's heart just like he had done ten years ago.

"But...I love you" Yashiro stammered, his expression a mix between confusion and heartbreak "and you love me"

Oh, I guess he's more perceptive than I gave him credit for.

"Sometimes love is not enough"