How to Save a Life

Chapter 11

About two weeks have passed since Dan, Tre, Emma and Jessica gave me a makeshift intervention to attempt to help me get over Brice once and for all. And it's working: I'm starting to feel alot better about being single. I sigh. 'I don't want to date again.' I say to myself as my bus stops at the school.

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I walk into the band room where my friends are. As I enter the noisy room, everyone looks at me and are quiet.

"W-what's up guys?" I ask curiously. They all look at each other. Nobody says anything. I look at each of their faces, hoping someone will break the silence and speak up. Jessica is the first to mutter something.

"...How do we say this?" Jessica asks quietly with a worried look on her face. "Dan..." Jessica asks, looking at the boy. Dan took a breath and was cut off by Jessamine.

"You're annoying." she blurts without a care. 'They think...I-I'm annoying?' I ask myself. I look at Jessica.

"Jessamine! We don't say things like that!" Jessica shouted at Jessamine. "...Cass?" Dan says. I look at them. I don't say a word and quickly bolt out the door into the gymnasium where everyone else who isn't band waits.

I take my seat in the back of the line of girls. (For some reason we sit in lines...I have no idea why). I pull my knees to my face. The tears stain my dark jeans, streaked with eyeliner or smudged with mascara. My blue eyes are red as the eyeliner smears down my rosy cheeks.

"Cass?" I hear two voices. I slowly look up at my friends, Tre and Armin who look at my face with worried expressions.

"Jessica told us what happened..." Tre pauses and looks down for a moment. He looks back up, with a sad look. "Are you ok?" He asks with a slight tilt of his head. He kinda reminds me of a curious deer in a forest when he makes that look.

"Y-yeah...I'm-m fine." I stutter, choking back tears. I shudder as he places a hand on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry...Jessica said they didn't mean it like that." Tre says as I play with Armin's afro. It's very fluffy. I look at Tre again.

"I guess I had to find out the truth somehow." I say with a sigh, looking at my stained lap. "I mean, it's no big deal."

"You're not annoying, I'm the annoying one." Tre states with a small laugh. I look up again.

"You're not annoying to me." I say quietly.

"They were going to say that your poking is annoying." Armin says as he guards his afro from my hands. Since the beginning of the school year, I've been poking my friends to make them smile and laugh...Brice and I did that when we were together. I love to hear people laugh and see their reactions. It just makes me smile and feel happy.

"But...That's m-my t-thing." I state trying not to cry again. 'Stop acting so sensitive!' I shout at myself. This isn't like me to get upset about stuff like this. 'What is happening to me?' The bell sounds to allow us access into homeroom. I sigh as Tre, Armin and I get up and head to class. We say our goodbyes to Tre as he heads to his homeroom, Mr. Bradley's Social Studies class. Armin and I head to Mrs. Peri's Science class. As we enter, we head to our lockers for our books and take our seats.
As I sit in the back of the classroom, my assigned seat, I begin to think. I feel numb; nothingness. My mind wonders over another memory that floods me over and forces me to drift away. The classroom disappears into nothing and I stare ahead.