How to Save a Life

Chapter 6

The clock reads 9:34pm as I scroll through my phone on Facebook. Yes I have Facebook...idk why but I do. My mom is over protective and won't let me have anything else but Facebook so she can stalk me online and keep her nose in my business. Of course I have others I use she doesn't quite know about. I'm smart about it. The posts on Facebook are mom-safe stuff: family photos and innocent, school related junk. The posts I look at are generally OTPs I've already seen from various book series such as The Mortal Instruments, Divergent and sometimes Percy Jackson books. Nothing new was on display however, so I close out of the app with a disappointed sigh.
I plugged my phone to the charger and placed it onto my night stand, trying not to make too much noise that will alert my mom that I'm awake after she told me to sleep.
I quietly move from my bed to my drawers for my spiral. When I find it, I stare at the old notebook. The cover was scratched, curling at the corners, and bending. I grabbed my dark blue pen and made my way back to my bed, opening the tattered, worn spiral. I skim over the entrees I've logged:

January 17, 2014

Today was a great day...I still wish Brice would ask me out. I have a huge crush on the guy and I blew my chances with him. I'm such an idiot. Why did my mind get in the way of things? Maybe someone actually liked me, but he's probably over me now...sigh.

I give a small smile at how innocent it sounded as I read the entry. After some skimming, I finally flip to the next empty page in my notebook:

March 21, 2015

Today could have been better. I'm getting to my breaking point-I just know it. I can't keep loving this lie...that I'm fine. I'm broken on the inside...I don't know how long it will take me before I'm completely destroyed. I can't stand not being with Brice...Why did this have to happen? What did I do so wrong?

I pause as I think of what else I should write. My pen twirls and flips in between my fingers as I reflect. The small tap of the pen as it lightly taps my fingers can be heard lightly across my room; like a small pitted patter of rain as it thumps onto a window. I can't think of anything else to include and close my notebook.

Gathering the book and pen, I get up and place it back in my drawer with a sigh. I plop onto my bed again as memories flood my mind. I can't stop them. I grab my smart phone off its charger and my idle earbuds that lay limp on my nightstand. I scroll frantically to a song-my safe havens-as I plug in the earbuds and place them in my ears. A song begins to play, dragging me away.