Burning Heart // CL16

Sixty Five

"Probably because I hurt you time and time again," Charles says, sitting down next to me while Kiraz sits across from me. I'd barely been here ten minutes before they found me, leaving me sat up straight before I look dramatically to the side and see him smiling sadly at me. "It's not your fault and I'm sorry I pushed. I'm even more sorry that you didn't want to tell me," Charles continues and I sigh, placing my hand over his as my head rests on his shoulder.

"It's not you... I had issues before we met," I joke as Kiraz snorts in agreement, her eyes asking for forgiveness as I just nod, really not wanting to get into it. "I-I'm sorry about before I didn't mean it like how I said. It was my fault you weren't there, it's just not something you want to explain... or even know how to. When you were asking about her birth - let's be honest, you weren't asking about that and it just... anyways, I just don't feel good in tight clothing. I don't want to be on show. Not in a campaign and not in photos taken by fans as we go to the Marina - they're always there and looking for you," I tell Charles as Kiraz makes another noise of agreement,  making me feel relieved that I'm not going crazy. Charles whistles softly as he leans his head on top of mine and doesn't remove his hands as we both just watch Ruby in a content silence.

"What now?" Kiraz asks in a way to break the silence and if it weren't for the waitress coming over I would straight up cuss her out right now because it felt like we were only just over the moment and she was bringing it up. "Seriously - you can't not go on a boat or in a pool ever again when you live in Monaco... that's a crime," Kiraz says jokingly as I sit up straight and sip my coffee, bringing my hands away from Charles as I do.

"We go buy you a costume you feel good in... we go on the boat and you'll see it's not as bad as you think it is," Charles suggests and I can't help it as my face scrunches up and I shake my head lightly. He sighs and accepts the coffee that Vanessa puts down for him as we look to Kiraz for an alternative solution, I do so tentatively because Charles had produced the tame option and I could see as she sat up a little straighter she was about to say something outrageous.

"Nope - you need to get laid," Kiraz says bluntly and I'm relieved I wasn't drinking as she said that because I would have spat the coffee all over the table if I had been. "What? Is that really a surprise?"

"Yes... I am not having s-e-x and I am definitely not discussing it while the b-a-b-y is right here!" I say, pointing at Ruby as I try and explain my point, only for Kiraz to roll her eyes. One look to Charles on my right shows that he is extremely tense and I don't blame him, this conversation is my nightmare and I can't imagine it's a comfortable one for him either. Kiraz on the other hand, seems delighted. "You're already on thin ice..."

"Liar, you've already forgiven me, I can see it in your eyes," Kiraz waves off my threat as she leans back in her seat, smirk set happily on her face as she looks between Charles and I. The most annoying thing was that she was half right, I was still kind of pissed off with her but mostly I could never be angry with her and she knew that. "Come on... of course you don't feel comfortable in your body, you don't feel desired! You haven't been on a date in two and a half years and you haven't had s-e-x since R-u-b-y was created. You feel like a mum, not a woman or the hot kick ass milf that you are!" Kiraz says, causes me to slide down in my seat as I wait for the universe to answer my prayers and let me be swallowed up before kicking Kiraz in the leg. Actually I miss - Charles letting out a yelp instead as I mutter an apology and just glare at Kiraz.

"You haven't been on a date in two and a half years?" Charles asks when he recovers from the shock of me kicking him and I ignore the question as I continue to glare at Kiraz.

"God - if I buy you a muzzle will you shut up?" I ask her rolling my eyes as I fall a little further down in my seat, as she looks at me smugly.

"If it's designer, maybe," she quips back cheekily as she looks between the two of us who are beyond uncomfortable with where she is leading the conversation. "Come on...."