NEW | STRAY KIDS ✔️

17.

"Bring back the faded feeling... don't say it's hard."
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Minhos heart stoped. He was scared of this question and the last thing he wanted to do is to lie to jisung.

"I was... one of those guys..." minho started. "Similar to what you've encountered today..."

Minho saw jisungs eyes which in a second filled with sadness, or maybe pitty.

"My... intentions were bad... from the beginning... both felix and you knew it... but... because your life was so miserable... you didn't cared... you still stayed with me..." minho said taking the words out was one of the hardest things for him.

"D-did... you do anything to me?" Jisung asked quietly.

Minhos eyes widened. "NO... we did it when you wanted it yourself. I didn't touch you... no..." minhos voice was shakey.

"But you had those intentions... right?" Jisung avoided the awkward eye contact.

Minho was quiet. He said nothing. "Can you... please let me take all of this in? I want to be alone..." jisung said.

"Im... sorry..." Minho then got up and left the apparent.

He knew where he had to go. He knew that his whole life was fucked. He sucked at everything and the only thing that he lived for was jisung.

Minho arrived to their happy place. A place, where he came to visit jisung every single year since he died.

He kneeled down and conected his hands. He looked up and tears started streaming down his face.

"Grandma... I... I messed it up... again..." he was talking to jisungs grandma.

"I need to apologize to you... I promised to take care of him... I promised it to you... and I messed up... I'm not asking for forgiveness... just... I want hannie to be happy... I'm sorry grandma..." minho pulled out a golden necklace that he bought for jisung few years ago.

He held it tightly in his hand. He kissed it and put it on a near by stone. "I don't deserve to keep it... jisung gave it to person that he loved. He doesn't love me anymore... so it's yours grandma." Minho smiled as tears started streaming down his cheeks.

"Take care of it grandma..." he got up and bowed deeply.

-

After he came back home, jisung was sleeping on the couch.

Minho picked him up and put him into the bed. He took a thin blanket from a drawer and lied on a couch.

He knew that he would for sure make jisung uncomfortable if he slept next to him. That's why he wanted to avoid him.

That night, he ended up crying.

-

When jisung got up the next morning, he reached next to him expecting minho there. But then he realized that he himself fell asleep on the couch, but now he was in the bed and alone.

Minho wasnt waking up before jisung. That's why it confused him.

He heard some noice from the other room, so he carefully opened the door and saw minho crying and sobbing quietly.

Jisung never saw minho cry this much. Not even cry properly.

Minho was all alone. Jisung didnt wanted minho to suffer. It wasnt even his place to be mad at him. He hurt his past self, he himself suffered no consequences.

And even if his intentions were bad, he came clean to jisung. He was being honest and did his best to change. And when he said that jisung before knew and still forgave him, he has no right to be mad. The Jisung before knew him better.

He walked from behind the door slowly and quietly.

Before saying anything, he reached his hand and caressed minhos back.

"Jisung... don't... I don't deserve this..." he said still facing the other way.

"Minho... don't punish yourself. You've done more good than bad..." jisung said.

"You can never erase bad things... but bad things can erase the good ones." Minho said sniffing.

"Even so... I have no reason to hate you for what you did... you did it to the jisung I was... and even that jisung forgave you and loved you uncondicionaly... and I believe the jisung I was... I know that he made the right decisions... " jisung said finaly hugging lying minho.

"Don't cry..." jsung said caressing minhos hand. "Tomorow's the trip... were gonna have fun ok?"

Jisungs pheromones were extremely calming especially because jisungs pheromones were always strong.

Minho sniffed and nodded.

"That's a good boy..." jisung said smiling sheepishly.

Minho felt like he could die in peace now. Jisung hugging him, his pheromones, everything was perfect.

-

"We're going on a trip!" Jeongin said excited.

"I need to take a break. I'm tired... thankfully minhos parents own hot springs there." Hyunjin said excited.

"He must be rich..." seungmin said.

"His parents are... they aren't on the best of terms tho... more like minho isn't..." hyunjin added.

"Really? Why?" Seungmin asked.

"He did something to them. They forgive him, but he didn't forgive himself. Its difficult to explain the whole situation."

"I understand..." seungmin said.

"Just... he had it hard himself. He just won't ever talk about it."

-

Minho and jisung spend the whole day quietly. Not talking much. Just lying on the couch, looking at the tv or eating something yummy.

The next day, both of them started packing things for the trip. Jisung was really excited. He couldn't wait to warm his body in the hot springs that minho talked about.

-

When they finally arrived there, they were the last ones to arrive.

The rest of the guys were all there waiting.

"Hey, soo... can we go now?" Hyunjin said putting his arm around minhos neck playfully.

"Sure. Everything should be prepared." Minho said walking with the rest.

"Hey jisung, how are you doing?" Chan walked up to jisung.

"Hey... I'm doing good, thanks for asking." Jisung smiled.

"Good to hear. Here, I got you some vitamins that might be useful." Chan gave jisung gummy vitamins.

"Thank you, that's so thoughtful of you." Jisung said.

"No problem. After all I'm your doctor as well." Chan said.

They ended up talking the whole way to the camp.

On the other hand, minho had a talk with hyunjin.

"Hyunjin I feel like a shit." Minho confessed.

"Why so?" He asked.

"Because of who I was... its not like I realized it just now that I was a shitty person. It's just... different now... maybe because I fully changed..." minho said watching the road.

"You ware never that bad minho." Hyunjin said. "And even if, you did more good than bad."

"But it's not like it'll be gone because of few good actions..." minho said kicking the rock in front of him.

"I get it minho." Hyunjin said all of a sudden. "You're like this because you feel like jisung didn't forgive you actually."