Him❤️

Complicated Days

There are so many days in a year. So many events that someone goes through. No matter how well you know someone or think you know someone you still won't know everything about them and everything they have been through or what they're going through currently.

The past few weeks have been complicated. He distances himself but puts a smile on his face. He looks so sad. He tries so hard to fight it and not show it and not let it get the best of him.

He doesn't like talking about those days. The days when he feels like life is so complicated and he doesn't know what to do. He does't speak his mind, always holding his tongue like saying how he feels will make the world erupt into chaos.

He acts as though if he were to describe his feelings, the words dripping and flowing rapidly out of his mouth, off of his tongue act as a venom that would poison anyone around him. He acts like he's dangerous and horrible and a creature to be feared and cursed to be alone for the eternity that is his life.

For those complicated days I may not know everything but I know of a similar feeling. I know of the chaos and overstimulation and exhaustion. I know of the late nights and the days where going without breakfast or lunch will suffice because all you need is one meal, right? I wish on those days he would depend on me more. I wish he would use me as a safe heaven to weep and cry and spill all of his feelings and thoughts and worries as if they were released from the dam built by walls created to keep him safe from the outside. I know that within himself he is drowning. I know he tries to hide it and won't anyone let know. I know it's getting worse but if only he'd let me within arms reach.

There's always a storm brewing in the beautiful mind he beholds. You can see the lighting striking behind his eyes. And how the thunder roars so viciously and it destroys his peace.

I'm never afraid of the storm no matter how bad it appears to be. I may not know him better then everyone else but I know him better then most. I most definitely am not saying I know him better then himself but some days he likes to believe as if I do. No, I know what he knows and then maybe less. The only difference is that I say what I see in him and know to be true, I tell him the things about himself that he denies but knows to be true deep down. I try to calm him and help him calm the storms even if it's only temporary. I will support him no matter what time of day. My love for him knows almost no bounds. I will be here for him as he has been here for me and I will continue to do so until the last breath to ever leave my body; until the moment the world goes dark around me.

He's stubborn and likes to get himself in trouble but I've never minded. He's a bit reckless but most of the time he has a level head even when I lose mine. He's my peace, my motivation, my calm. He's my home and my happy place. The person I run to when when I feel myself slip under the water. I want to be this for him as well. I want him to rely on me the way I do him and I want him to be truly at peace and happy. I will stand by him no matter the consequence and forever my partner in crime he will be.