Conduct Me (Lydia Tár X Reader)

18

"What are you doing-"

I quickly played my part

"Y/n, stop pretending"

She reassured me placing her keys, her phone and her scarf on the kitchen counter

"Lydia, go home"

I commanded her

"Why should i listen to what you say?"

She asked

"Cause, its my house and i told you to stay away, its for the best"

I commented, avoiding eye contact, cause i know whats leaving my mouth is false

"Whats best for us exactly, could you elaborate on that?"

She placed one hand on the counter and the other on her hip, allowing it to pop out

"Its best for us to stay away from one another"

My gaze was still avoiding hers

"Look at me and say it, then il leave"

She said, she just asked me to do one of the hardest things, look into her eyes, i know il cave in and tell her how i feel if i do look at her, fuck

"Why should i look at you?"

I tried playing dumb

"Cause i know you wont be able to lie to my face and tell me you want me to leave, when we both know you want me here more than anything"

She knew what she was doing

"Come on, be a good girl and look into my eyes"

She said, i kept my gaze to the ground until i heard her footsteps approaching and finally her shoes were interrupting that once empty ceramic block i had all my attention given to

"Do it y/n"

She said with her husky rich voice

"Why are you like this lydia?"

I asked, waiting for an answer

"Cause im convinced your pushing me away when you want me so badly and i want to prove it to myself and you, that you want me more than anything else, if u manage to look into my eyes and tell me you want me to truly exit your life, then thats when il leave you be"

I sighed and started biting down on my lower lip and digging my nails into my skin. i swallowed a very big lump and finally plucked up the courage to slowly look up and stop at Lydia's waist

"My eyes aren't down there"

She placed her thumb under my chin and raised it up allowing our gaze's to meet

"now say it y/l/n"

I was now even more nervous then i was before and i tried putting the words together to form my sentence, but, i couldn't, i was so lost in Lydias gaze that i forgot how to put together words to form a sentence

"You know what your doing to me"

I said, just above a whisper

"I do, i know you can't resist the eyes you look for every morning after i fucked you unmercifully the night before, the eyes you look at when you feel alone, the eyes you look for when you feel at your best, i know what you can't resist y/l/n"