Series 1: Beg Me, Professor (COMPLETED)

CHAP 11

(⚠️TRIGGER WARNING⚠️)

I almost stumbled on the floor when, with full force, Zachary shoved me inside his unit. His eyes were dark and screaming danger. He rushed up to me and recklessly slammed me against the wall. My back ached along with my shoulders as he gripped them tightly, but I didn't really care for it.

"What the fvck are you doing, Atasha?" he said emphatically.

I merely made a silly grin at him. "Saving myself?" I uttered. "Come on, Zachary. Nahuli na tayong dalawa, alangan namang ipahamak ko ang sarili ko, 'di ba?"

"Don't fool me, Atasha. The first time we did it, there were only the two of us in my condo."

Nakagat ko ang ibaba kong labi dahil mas humigpit ang pagkakahawak niya sa akin, galit na galit.

"You know how hard I worked to earn my name and how much effort I put into my profession. How fvcking dare you ruin me?" his teeth were gritting as he said those lines.

Hindi ko naiwasan na tumawa. Sinalubong ko ang mga mata niya at walang emosyon siyang tiningnan. Bahagya ko pang tinagilid ang ulo ko para ipakita ang panunuri sa kaniyang mukha.

"I was not informed that that's what ruin looks like." A small smirk plastered on my lips. "Masyadong mababaw," anas ko.

Halos pumutok ang mga ugat ni Zachary sa leeg. Pabalya niya akong binitiwan at saka sunod-sunod na nagmura. Hindi pa siya nakuntento roon, sa isang mabilis at malakas na kilos ay dumaan sa gilid ng ulo ko ang kaniyang kamao. Sinuntok niya ang pader.

Taas-baba ang kaniyang mga balikat habang nakayuko sa harapan ko. Nanatili ang kamay sa gilid ng aking ulo. I didn't move or even flinch when he punched the wall. I already expected the worst from him. Mas nagtataka nga ako na hindi sa mukha ko nag-landing ang kamao niya.

"Why did you come back, Atasha? What do you want from me?" Gradually, he lifted his head, his bloodshot eyes met mine. "Did you really have to do this?" he said in almost whisper.

For a moment, he looked lost and tired. Still not enough to satisfy me.

My side lip rose. "Zachary, stop acting like I'm the only one who's evil here. Baka tubuan ka ng halo sa ulo niyan at bigla kang kunin ni Lord, bahala ka," natatawang saad ko. "Oh, wait. Medyo mali ako sa part na si Lord ang kukuha sa iyo. Baka mag-assume ka."

Hindi naman siya agad nagsalita at pinanatili lang ang paningin sa akin. Tila hindi makapaniwala na nagagawa ko pang tumawa sa mga oras na ito.

"Is this all about your sister? Kaya mo ba ginagawa ito dahil sa kasal namin?" tanong niya na may halong pamamaratang.

I chuckled. "Medyo nakaka-offend ka naman, Zachary. Though, at some point, yes." Tumango-tango pa ako. "Masyado kasing makakapal ang mga mukha niyo para maghangad ng fairytale love story," I casually said that despite the rage that was slowly building up in my chest.

His jaw set again. Isang malalim na hininga ang hinugot niya bago lumayo sa akin. Nagtitimpi.

"Do you want me to call off the wedding?" aniya na para bang ipinupunto na iyon ang gusto kong gawin niya.

The corner of my mouth turned up. I didn't answer him; I just walked slowly towards his living area and sat on the couch. I crossed my legs and tapped my fingers on my knee, acted thinking.

"Kahit hindi mo gawin, hindi naman talaga matutuloy ang kasal n'yo." I smiled at him. "So, basically, I don't need you to do that."

His dark aura didn't change at all. Naglakad siya palapit sa akin at tumigil sa harapan ko, pinapagitnaan namin ang center table.

"Then what do you want from me? What do you want me to do to stop your bullshits?" he said directly, patience running out.

I giggled and stared at him. For the second time, I tilted my head while looking at him, letting him know that what I heard was a joke for me. Gradually, I stood up without breaking my eyes from him.

Tinawid ng kamay ko ang distansya namin. Mabagal na lumandas ang daliri ko sa pisngi niya. Hindi siya umibo o pumalag sa hawak ko. Nanatili ang seryoso at malamig na titig na lumalaban sa akin.

My lips flashed a grin. "Zachary, Zachary," I uttered. "Ano nga ba ang kailangan ko sa iyo?" pag-uulit ko sa tanong niya at bahagyang natawa sa kabila ng seryoso kong mukha.

I locked my eyes on him again as my fingers slowly dug into his chin. "Let me tell you this, Zachary, since you asked for it." I moved his head to face me more. "What I want from you is . . . your downfall. I want you to be miserable. I want you to beg, professor. I want you begging desperately as you serve my wrath, Zachary Villarreal."

I could feel my hand slightly trembling in rage. My grip tightened even more as I continued sending him my death glares. Anger was slowly consuming me.

Hindi siya umalis sa pagkakahawak ko. Katulad kanina ay nakatitig lang siya sa akin habang nilalabanan ang malamig kong pagtrato. Natigilan ako nang bumaon ang kuko ko sa balat niya at nagdulot ng pagdurugo. My eyes widened in shock as my body started trembling, this time not in rage but in fear.

Sumikip ang dibdib ko. Unti-unting umalon ang paningin ko habang dumadaloy ang dugo niya sa aking kuko. Nangangatal kong binitiwan ang mukha niya. Napahawak ako sa aking dibdib habang nanghihinang napaupo sa kung saan. I was hardly catching my breath. My body started going numb as I lost touch with reality.

Blood.

"Atasha."

Images flashed in front of me. Ang anak ko. Ang katawan kong puno ng dugo. Ang pagyakap ko sa suot kong roba.

"Atasha! Fvck!" rinig kong um-echo mula sa kung saan.

My baby.

Tears were streaming down my cheeks. My hands were shaking violently. I couldn't even breathe a little bit.

"Hey. Atasha, do you hear me?" I heard the voice again, but my vision was still in a haze. "I'm here . . ." It was a soft whisper that I couldn't almost hear. "You'll get through this. Take slow, deep breaths, Atasha."

I lost it. I lost my baby . . .

"Atasha. It's me, Zachary. I'm holding your hand, okay? Feel it. Put your attention to my touch."

I felt something brushing against my skin, but I couldn't feel it entirely as my senses stayed numb. Images of blood were still in front of me. Undulating, spinning.

"Come on, Atasha. You can do it."

The voice was gentle and soothing. I tried hard to feel his touch again, but I did not succeed. Memories of the past kept haunting me.

I'm sorry, baby. I was not able to protect you.

"Listen to me, Atasha. Keep feeling my touch."

Once again, I felt something on my skin. Hindi ko lang alam kung saan. Wala pa rin akong nakikita kundi puro mga dugo sa harapan ko. Ang sarili ko. Ang anak kong nawala sa akin.

Natigilan ako nang makarinig nang malamyos na boses, kumakanta. Pilit kong itinuon doon ang aking atensyon.I kept hearing the voice, but I couldn't see from where it was coming. I felt something on my skin again, but this time it was more sensible.

The voice continued echoing. I eventually followed the song's melody. I also now understand which area of myself was experiencing the touch.

Pinagpatuloy ko ang pagdama at pakikinig hanggang sa unti-unting lumiwanag ang paningin ko. Para akong nasa isang panaginip na marahang hinihila pabalik sa realidad. Nagsimulang mabuo ang malabong imahe sa harapan ko.

Napatulala lang ako nang makita si Zachary sa aking harapan. Nakaluhod habang nakahawak sa aking pisngi, kumakanta. He was looking at me softly.

Marahan akong napakurap habang kinakain ng pagod at panghihina. "Zachary . . ." mahinang anas ko bago tuluyang nagpadala sa kadiliman.