Plot Twist

26. (emotional) muscular memory

trigger warning: this chapter contains mentions of  abortion (the theme is discussed). if you're not comfortable with it, please skip this chapter.  

"There you go." Sébastien offered me a small, but the warmest smile. "With some honey, just how you like it."

"Thank you." I grabbed the hot mug of camomile tea and brought my lips to the rim. I took a long sip and proceeded to sit down on the couch. He followed my moves and sat next to me.

"How's the little one?"

"Asleep." I responded with a sigh. "She wasn't too happy to have to go to bed earlier than usual but she eventually drifted off to sleep."

After the shocking news that I received when I came home today, reading the letter from court regarding David's case, all I wanted was to put Lexi to sleep so I could express my emotions freely, without any filters. But I managed to hide them throughout dinner and bedtime, and I was sure that she had gotten to sleep without suspecting anything was wrong. Mission accomplished.

"I want to start off this conversation by saying that I am well aware that you will probably hate me after you hear what I have to tell you. And you will probably wish to never see me again and I understand and respect that decision."

"Mel, stop it right there." I felt Sébastien's hand on my knee and was so incredibly thankful for him. For having him here with me, and not being alone when my entire world was falling apart. "There is nothing you could say that would make me walk away."

I knew he knew that something was wrong when I'd told him what that letter was about, but now I could tell that he was clearly aware that there was something off about it.

What I was about to tell him, only I knew. Nobody else knew and I've lived my entire life, working on hiding it. My brother is my best friend and he doesn't know. Olivia is my best friend and she doesn't know either. To be fair, no one was supposed to ever know, and the fact that I'd gotten a letter from court implying that I was a person of interest in David's case, meant that someone knew. Or at least suspected.

"You are very sweet to say that." I smiled. "But after I tell you what I'm about to tell, you should walk away. In fact, you should run, make sure you and I never meet again."

After all, we all have our secrets, some darker than others, and some... some are Vantablack.

"I think that's a decision for me to make, not you." He stated bluntly. "Plus, Mel, you're starting to scare me. What happened?"

I took a deep breath, and I questioned what I was about to do a million times, but went ahead and chose to let him know. It was only fair.

"When I got pregnant with Lexi, things weren't great between me and David. You already know about how he was emotionally abusive with me, and after I told him I was pregnant, that situation only became worse."

"How worse?" He asked after I noticed Sébastien's knuckles turning white.

"He would tell me I should take care of it because it was my fault. He would call me names and tell me that I should have been on the pill when we got together because I knew that he didn't like to use the condom." A silent pause. "Meanwhile, his lifestyle was getting worse too. Always drinking, always staying up late, smoking and doing drugs."

"Oh my God... I can't believe you had to go through all of that. I am so sorry."

"I was confused about what to do. He was just as responsible for the pregnancy as I was, yet it was my responsibility to terminate it?" I sounded just the same as my own thoughts back from those days. Confused, befuddled, disoriented.