HIDDEN (Hide Or Die)

Chapter 39

ALBERT'S P.O.V.

"I was so stupid, Al, I should have been wiser and braver for you, and maybe none of the things you went through in the hands of that dick Julian would have happened. I regret so much the things I didn't do when I had the opportunity."  Matthew's grey eyes quickly fill with tears, which he fought valiantly to keep at bay, but he was fast losing the battle, and seeing him like that broke my heart.

"I should have..." I gently placed a finger over his lips.

"It's okay," I said quietly. Matt looked at me for a moment, then he looked away exhausted and worn out. I had no idea what to do. It was as if he had somehow transferred the guilt and responsibility for what Julian had done to me onto himself, and when I made his beautiful eyes lock on mine again, I was at a loss for words to persuade him otherwise, but I was going to try anyway.

"Matty," I slowly took my finger away from his lips and began gently brushing his hair with my hand, hoping it would calm him a little.

"Julian is, and Julian will always be, a twisted disgusting animal, and there's nothing that you nor I can do to change that fact." As soon as the name Julian left my lips, Matthew's jaws locked and his face instantly hardened, but I worked my fingers deeper into his scalp and lightly massaged, and it worked to distract him as his tense body relaxed a little; so I continued.

"But what I can do, Matty, is make sure that every chance I get, I let you know that that pig's actions, what he did to me, were entirely his fault, and I never want to hear you place such filthy blame on your beautiful heart again. And, besides, who can guarantee that if you had succeeded in asking me out back then, I would have changed my mind about Julian and gone with you? And how does it also guarantee that what he did wouldn't have still happened afterward?" Matthew groaned, and I laughed.

"What I'm trying to say is, you should never blame yourself for something as silly as being a teenager. Teenagers scare easily, heck from what I've heard, even adults have the same problem at times. You were just scared about the consequences of your feelings for me and so you stayed away, nothing more. You are not a coward for that. And besides, all that matters is that you're here now and that I finally get to hear you say such beautiful words to me." My face heat up at my words and I shyly wrapped my arms around his neck, burying my face in the crook of his neck. "And just so we are clear, I like you too. A lot actually.” Beautiful laughter filled my ears as Matthew's shoulders shook lightly, and then he drew me even closer to his chest before squeezing me tightly.

"Thank you, Al. I don't deserve you." I blushed more and nodded quietly into his neck, which made him laugh even harder and then kissed me softly on the forehead.

"So, before we get way too drunk and walk further up this rainbow, and I also lose control and ask you a question I've been dying to know the answer to, I think it'll be better for us to deal with the elephant that brought us to this point." My heart instantly sank to my feet, and I slowly lifted my head from his shoulder with my eyes downcast.

Matthew gently lifted my chin so I could look him in the eyes, but even when my face was only a few inches away from his and I could feel his breath on my nose and his beautiful eyes roaming all over my face, I still couldn't bring myself to look him in the eyes.

"Al," Matthew sighed before placing a hand on the back of my neck and slowly resting his forehead on mine. "Please, we need to talk about it." I closed my eyes and breathed in his sweet scent before nodding quietly.

"I've seen bits and pieces of it, and I think I have a pretty good idea of how you're feeling right now about Bluefield, but I want to hear it directly from your lips." Matthew's eyes remained fixed on my face, his smile supportive as he urge me to talk to him. "Why don't you want to go back?" My jaws tightened painfully, but he caressed my cheeks which worked slightly in causing me to relax again.