Death Has Wings

The Forest Behind Grandma's House

Grandma used to explore Nicor Wood as a kid. The wood had a river running right through it. Grandma said that her Ancestors named the forest after Nicor, the water demon that drowns humans, since many people had drowned in the river, accidentally or on purpose. Grandma always went to the river and played with the water nymphs at the edge, but she never went into the river itself. She told me that one time, she heard a voice calling her name from the river. The voice whispered as if it was in a hurry. She didn't answer it and it didn't call her after that day, but she told me last year that the voice had been calling her name again. She also told me that she had to restrain herself from going into the forest, and jumping into the water. I was scared, and I had a reason. I didn't want it to happen to me. I never want it to happen to me.

I almost don't want to talk about this bit, but I have to.

Grandma committed suicide. She shot herself with Grandpa Mitchell's hunting rifle. Her neighbours had heard the gunshot. They had burst through the front door to find Grandma's brains all over the fireplace, the walls and the ceiling. When I heard about it, I cried until I could cry no more. Grandma was a better mother to me than my birth mother. She was the only one who could've...would've helped me. I still can't believe she's gone, but I suppose that it's better than living with torture from a demon calling your name from beneath the waves until you jump in and end it. Grandma took the quicker option. I would've too, if I was her. But I'm not her. I don't know as much about what is happening to me as her. She would've told me everything that she thought I should do to stop the headaches, the pain...the dreams.

Grandma thought of me as her own son and I thought of her as my own mother.