Batfam Oneshots

Feel Free to Ketchup (Batfamily x reader)

Prompt: a robbery leads to an incident with Condiment King and you, Tim, and Jason end up covered in condiments.

Ages:

Alfred: Immortal

Bruce: 43

Dick: 25

Jason: 21

Tim: 18

Reader: 17 (you were not adopted by Bruce but you do stay at the manor a lot)

Damian: 14

In fairness this time it wasn't entirely your fault.

You and Tim had been assigned to patrol the diamond district, and it had been a pretty quiet night so far. Tim had picked up some chatter about a jewelry store being robbed, so you both had headed over to intervene. What could go wrong? Well, everything.

You both arrived at the scene and it looked like just a couple of Two-Face's goons were responsible. Problem is that the goons were already knocked out and the jewelry was gone. Your feet crunched the broken glass that was scattered everywhere. Red and yellow was all along the walls and counters.

"He could really try to be more subtle." You said accidentally setting your hand in a pile of ketchup.

"Also less messy would be nice," Tim added while typing something into his little gauntlet laptop thing. "He couldn't have gotten far, the cops aren't even here yet."

"But someone else was." You said gesturing to the rubber bullets that were everywhere along with the heavy boot prints left in random piles of ketchup/mustard. "How mad do you think he is?"

"My guess, on a scale of 1-10 he's somewhere around a 15," Tim said

"Could be worse, should we follow him?" You asked

"Probably," Tim said and started after the trail of yellow and red drips and boot prints.

You didn't have to look very hard or very long to follow Condiment King's trail. Even in the dark alleys of Gotham the bright yellow and red could be seen. But it was mostly thanks to Red Hood. Right when you and Red Robin had thought you had lost the trail you heard the familiar sounds of gunshots and excessive cussing. You and Red Robin looked at each other and grappled to the rooftops hoping to get a better view and actually locate the source. You would deny it adamantly that you were worried about Red Hood, but deep deep down you were. Granted your relationship was strained at best he was still your friend/brother.

You stood at the edge of one of the rooftops scanning the surrounding city hoping that Red Hood or Condiment King would give you a sign of where they had disappeared to.

Just as you let out a sigh of defeat and were about to comm the Cave, a small explosion went off about 400 yards to your left. Without even signaling Red Robin you grappled to the next building and took off across the rooftops making a beeline for where the explosion went off. You didn't have to glance behind you to know that Red Robin wasn't too far behind. He was extremely observant, if you were to guess he probably saw the explosion before you did.

Upon reaching the explosion site you weren't surprised to see Condiment King standing on the blown-out side of an abandoned apartment complex. You also weren't surprised to see Red Hood covered from head to toe in a horrible mixture of ketchup and mustard.

You glanced over at Red Robin and motioned to yourself and the ledge above Condiment King followed by some other poor hand signals that just seemed to confuse him. You didn't wait to try and explain your plan to him. So you left him crouching on the ledge as you snuck as carefully as you could to the ledge above Condiment King. But nothing ever works out perfectly.