Batfam Oneshots

That Got Out of Hand Quickly (Batfamily x reader)

Prompt: Pranks in the manor get a bit out of hand.

Ages

Bruce 45

Alfred is Immortal LOL

Dick 25

Jason 22

You 19

Tim 18

Damian 14

–

Lately, things had gotten out of hand around Wayne Manor. Bruce was out of town and so Dick was supposed to be staying over and helping Alfred manage the rest of the very dysfunctional family.  It wasn't working very well

"JASON PETER TODD WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU NOT EVEN A LAZARUS PIT WILL BE ABLE TO PUT YOU BACK TOGETHER!" You yelled barreling over the banister railing just barely missing Tim who had just been kicked out of the cave by none other than Alfred.

"(n/n), I promise it will wash out." Jason laughed. Oh, he knew you were going to be pissed, but this level of reaction was not entirely what he had expected.

You dodged around Tim throwing a half-hearted sorry behind you and continued on your pursuit of the shithead that decided to play fuck around and find out.

You and Jason continued this duck and dodge, cat and mouse game for about an hour before everyone had enough of the yelling and dodging. Dick had tried to stop you two but it only ended up with him being hit by one of Titus's oversized dog toys. After that, he figured that they would eventually figure it out. Alfred on the other hand had had enough. You two morons were never going to quit unless you were forced to or the other was dead. As Jason barreled through the dining room for the fourth time Alfred stepped out into the walkway.

"Master Jason and Miss (y/f/n), if you take another step so help me I will take every single one of your little gadgets and make it so that you will never find them again," Alfred said it so calmly and seriously that Jason stopped and you, not realizing ran straight into Jason, causing you both to land in heap on the ground at Alfred's Feet. "Now since you both have come to your senses you can explain yourselves."

You rolled off the top of Jason and just lay on the cold tile staring up at Alfred who was looking expectantly at them both waiting for an explanation. Jason groaned and mumbled something that was incoherent before standing up and offering you a hand. But you were still pissed and swatted his hand away standing up on your own and glaring at him.

Alfred barely kept a straight face when he looked at you. You had a large dark circle of paint around each eye giving your face the impression of a raccoon. Jason couldn't even take your glare seriously and doubled over laughing. You went to lunge at him but Alfred stepped in front of you.

"This idiot put grease paint in my mask." You practically hissed. You were pissed and Jason knew it, but he also knew that you wouldn't dare piss Alfred off.

"It is easy enough to remove. Makeup wipes and alcohol will get it off of your face." Alfred said matter-of-factly before turning to Jason. "You on the other hand will be responsible for getting it out of her mask."

With that settled Alfred disappeared out of the dining room leaving you and Jason glaring at each other.

"Watch your back Jaybird, 'cause I'm so going to get you back for this." You said stalking off to go get the stupid paint off of your face and plot your revenge against Jason.

Timeskip

A few days had passed since the grease paint incident. You were still pissed to put it lightly and Jason had done a shitty job cleaning your mask off, thankfully you hadn't had to use it thanks to being given monitor duty for a week.