Dear Diary,
It's getting worse. I know it is. What I mean by 'It' is my mental state. I don't think I can do this anymore. I try to look happy when I'm with the crew but I just can't keep the act up anymore. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends. I even love my caption. Gosh luffy . if only he knew how he is the reason as to why I'm still alive. But he would just brush it off. oh god how I love his laugh it's the cutest thing ever other than chopper of course. But even Luffy can't stop the nightmares from coming, the nightmares caused by those men. Sometimes I wake up and I can still feel their hand all over my body. The nightmares are the worst cause I see and feel what they did to me for all of the years that I was forced to be a slave. Anything they wanted or needed whether it be getting them a glass of water or whether it be sexual I had to do it. What they did made me feel worthless, a waste of space, a person who shouldn't be allowed to live, a person who should just be a slave for the rest of their life. I should just kill myself. I'm useless on this ship so it's not like they would care. Now that I think about it they probably wouldn't even notice. Well we're pulling up to an island in a few hours so I probably won't write in here any more so goodbye diary.
I set my pencil down and close my book and I put it on the shelf and then cleaned up my room a bit " I think I should pack a bag before I go".
Just then my door burst open causing my books to fall ."Luffy!!! You don't need to slam my door, you know." I say cleaning up the mess. "Oh sorry y/n I didn't mean to here let me help you".
He said picking up some books and just shoving them back on the shelf. "Alrighty let's go y/n I wanna play hide n seek with you " I could see the excitement in his eyes. "Luffy this isn't organized. I need to fix it". He then just pulls me out of my room towards Usopp and chopper.
"Hey guys I got y/n to play with us" he says with a big smile. " Alrighty were playing hide n seek so the last person to put your hand in the middle of the circle has to be it ready 3...2...1... go" Usopp says chopper was the last person so he was it first and luffy was found last.
We played the game for a while until we got closer to the island. Then nami turned scary. Telling us what to do. When we docked at the island I went to the bathroom before I went on to the island.
When I went back to my room to pack my bag I saw luffy in front of my dresser. " hey luffy what are you doing?" I ask, putting on a fake smile. When I walked in front of him to see what he was doing I saw that he was reading something.
I take a second to look at what he's reading and see that he's found my dairy and is reading it . I try to grab it from him but he pulls it out of my reach. "Luffy give me that back" I say, trying to jump for it ." not until you explain this to me " he said seriously.
"Luffy give me my book." I say jumping and finally getting the book out of his hands " y/n was everything in that book true?" he says looking at me." I don't know what your talking about" I say avoiding his gaze and putting the book behind me.
"oh just the page that says "I should just kill my self" that page and the other part where we wouldn't notice" he said now walking towards me making me walk backwards so the now my back is against my wall. "Luffy.... I.." I couldn't find the words to say to him. What could I say that would make what I wrote not be that bad.
" y/n tell me it's not true" he said now looking down. Clenching his fists. "I- *sigh* yes everything from the beginning of that book till the last page written on is true" I say now looking down as well .
He then pulls me into a hug and drops us both on the floor." y/n please... please don't leave me too" luffy said ugly crying. "I-I don't know what I would do without you. I-I-I don't think I could handle Ace's death and then yours I might just lose myself" He said now holding the back of my head as if he were to let go I would disappear and never return.
"Y/N PLEASE DONT KILL YOURSELF... please.... Please don't... I love you too much to lose you too. Luffy said still holding me and still crying.
I just sat there in shock about what he said. "I can't love you y/n if your dead *sniff* you just can't love a dead person".
I then hugged Luffy back. " I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sor-" I got caught off by luffy kissing me on the lips. Since I was talking he took the chance and slipped his tongue in my mouth. I kissed him back and when we pulled away there was a string of saliva between our mouths.
" y/n promise me something" he said with puffy eyes and a serious gaze" yes luffy" I say looking at him" promise me you wont kill your self " I hesitate to answer him. " y/n promise me" he said putting a hand on my cheek. "I'll try not to."
I say earning a glare from him. Not "I'll try" "I promise okay?" luffy said with a light glare at me. " I promise.. I promise I won't kill my self" I look up earning another kiss from him." good now about those nightmares I can sleep in your room and if you wake up feeling the way you said in that book then just wake me up okay' he said smiling at me making me bush. "Oh ok I will' I said with a genuine smile at him.
FIN
~~
word count 1127
................................................................................................................................................................
A/N: This one came to me in a dream and yes i love writing angst so get use to it. Poor @starry-ghost they have deal with it all my shit
credit for editing starry-ghostt
YOU ARE READING
one piece x reader one shots
Fiksi Penggemarrequests accepted just type what character you want and how you want y/n to be like ect.. Fem reader!!! I will NOT be writing and one shots for any of the female characters cause I literally can not I will also NOT write any fan fics for DOFLAMI...
