The Exposure

Chapter Five

           At dinner, Angel, Georgia, and Amy take turns talking about who's going with who to the Harvest Ball. "I still haven't been asked by anyone," Georgia's head drops in defeat. Amy asserts, "You're a catch, Georgia. I'm sure those that want to ask have been too intimidated. Someone will ask, just give it some more time."

           There was a week left before the ball, and you had been asked by a couple different guys. You'd managed to slip away from Josh Philiman during one of his rants about his high school quidditch years and being the best seeker of his school. Peter Knightly had also approached you, and you accepted, more out of silent resignation and empathy than anything else. He was nice, but you also knew he was actually in love with Rupert Hoffman. They had been hooking up in secret for months and you had walked in on them undetected once in the boathouse when looking for a place to be alone. You kept it to yourself, wondering when the world would feel safe for Peter and Rupert. You decided accepting Peter's request would be a favor to you both, since neither of you could go with the person you really wanted to be with.

           Do I want to be with him...?

           "We need to find you a date too, Y/n." You snap out of your internal dialogue, returning to the present and the three girls watching you, waiting for you to speak. "Oh. Right. Actually Peter asked me yesterday at lunch." All three girls squealed with glee, buzzing with excitement about your date. You feel less than excited but pretend to be enthused, beaming wide to match their energy. "So what did you guys smell when you made your love potions?" Georgia asks playfully.

           "I smelled oranges, coffee, and the sea." "I smelled my dad's cigars, parchment...and Tom's cologne." "Hay, chocolate, and roses!" When you remain quiet, Georgia asks, "What about you, Y/n?" You pause, unsure of what to share..."I smelled cinnamon, apples and ink." You respond. It was mostly true. The thought of him brings your eyes up to scan the room for his dark figure. You catch him speaking with the professor to his left. You admire his striking features and the confidence he spoke with. His hands holding his wine...you never noticed how strong and large his hands were. How attractive his hands were. Can hands be attractive? you wonder, your eyes slowly moving down his body, wondering about what else might be large. You glance back up at his face to find his watchful eyes returning your stare, jolting you out of your daydream. You start to look away, but something in his gaze keeps you locked on him. You get the feeling that you never want to look away, yet you feel uneasy and exposed. "Earth to Y/n?"

           Angel waves her hand in front of you, startling you. "Oh, sorry...what?" "You're such a daydreamer," she laughs. "I was saying, isn't Ben your partner in potions class? Has he said whether he's going with anyone?" "No, I think he's still working up the courage." "Well, I was just saying, don't you think Ben and Georgia would make a good pair?" you reply with genuine enthusiasm this time, "Definitely! He really is a sweet guy. You know, when I accidentally scalded him with our swelling potion, he wasn't even upset with me. He seems very patient." Georgia blushes and lowers her gaze, "Do you think he'd be interested? Would he ask me?" You pause, thoughtfully. "You know what? I think it's dumb that we have to wait to be approached by men. Why don't you ask him?"

           Georgia suddenly sits up straighter, a hopeful look crossing her face. "You know, you're right! The worst thing he can say is no, thank you." You watch your friend approach the Gryffindor table, tapping Ben on the shoulder. He stands and leans in to hear her and a smile spreads across his face. "Yes! I was going to ask you, I–I was too nervous I guess..." he sheepishly smiles. Their conversation continues and you look back to where Snape was sitting, hoping to catch another glimpse of him, but he's gone.

           That night, you journal about Professor Snape again, unable to get the image of his hands and the way they looked so strong yet held the chalice so delicately.

           I can't help it...I just want those hands tracing my face, touching my body...why am I so feral for this man?? He's so confident and when he looks at me...my whole body just wants to melt. I keep fantasizing about going back to detention with him. I just might cause some trouble if it means being alone in a room with him again and hearing that disapproving voice. When he touched my hand in detention I realized it was the kind of touch I've been craving my whole life. Strong and firm but somehow gentle. And those beautiful dark eyes...I swear sometimes it feels like he can see into my mind.