Attachments

"Would they have a different opinion?"

"Hey dad", "there's a party this weekend outside campus, can we all go"

"Outside of campus" I knew I fucked up as soon as I told him that part. "I don't know carter, you know I don't like you leaving campus, especially for parties sweetie"

"I'll be with everyone else, I'll be safe, I don't drink, pleaseeeeeee. And Pansy, Daph and Storie aren't gonna go if I'm not going and I don't want to be the reason they don't go"

"Carter I just don't like you being at party's out of campus, i don't want you going."

"So basically you want to give me back to the orphanage huh?"

-

"Dad said we can go!!"

"How the hell did you convince dad to let us go to a party outside of campus?" Mattheo asks absolutely dumbfounded. He should know better than not to doubt me

"Don't worry 'bout it." That definitely gained a few worried stares from my brothers, some curious and Chase just looked like he had no fucking clue what was happening

-

I cant tell if I love the nights or not. I love being alone just as much as I love being with my friends. But honestly having my own dorm and sleeping alone every night has some kind of loneliness to it, but not the depressing empty type of emptiness, I mean I just want to talk to peoples.

As soon as it gets dark outside it's like every thought I could've had during the day just rushes to my head and it makes it so hard to sleep. I think it's one of the many reasons I take so many naps.

Its not insomnia or anything like I can sleep but I just wish someone could be here and we could just sit in comfortable silence, every time I do sleepover with someone it calms the thoughts and I can actually get good sleep.

Everyone in school sees me as very giddy and bubbly and just very outgoing but I wonder if those same people that think that saw me right now, would they have a different opinion on me?

I could just be totally overthinking, I mean it is night I'm not really supposed to be bouncing off the walls it's just my thoughts at night go crazy.

I get jumped out of my thoughts scared shitless because why the fuck was there just a knock at my door? I don't know, fuck it hopefully it's not a murderer!!

"Draco you scared the shit out of me. I started going for the knife under my mattress you're lucky it's you"

"Why do you have a knife? Under you're mattress? And wouldn't that be too hard to get if there was actually a killer?"

"Okay bro, you're thinking too hard into this. What do you want from me" he pushes past me and closes the door. Literally like again make ur self at home what is this shit?

"Alright." Im not gonna lie he is very beautiful.

"What?"

"What, what? Why are you here?"

"I don't know, everyone was pissing me off and ur like the only person I can stand to be alone with for like more than an hour"

"Oh my god did Draco just confess to enjoying my company" I say pushing his chest having a hoot teasing him. He just stared down at me with a stupid side smirk and this look in his eyes that makes me want to drop to my knees this second.

"Carter you know I enjoy your company. I love being around you." Eat me o-

My smile kind of falters because of these stupid stupid night thoughts. "What do you actually want."

"I told you I just like being around you," He starts walking to my couch, "even though you're probably one of the most energetic people I know I just feel calm around you. And I could really use calm" he pretty much drops on my couch

"You okay. You seem really stressed, you did yesterday too actually."

"Yeah I'm good theres just this girl" oh. Oh? Why am I offended? I don't have the right to be, he's trying to open up and talk about it so I need to let him do that

"She's just been really nagging me and on top of Blaise and Enzo it just made me so agitated"

Completely ignoring the second part I want to figure out more, "nagging?"

"Before I sleep with girls I always make it clear that this is a one time thing, and usually they're good about it but this time she just won't stop."

"Draco just because you tell them before hand does not mean they'll feel the same way afterwards. They're giving you everything and id assume that she probably just cared more."

"I don't get how that's my fault though?"

"I didn't say it was, I'm just saying there was some sort of physical connection, and I get kind of rocky with stuff like that, and it affects me emotionally even when I try to ignore it. Talk to her instead of ignoring her, otherwise you have to expect her to keep texting you. Lay it out for her instead of keeping her flooded in all of these thoughts she's probably having about it. She could just be very overwhelmed."

"I don't know I've never really put that much thought into it, its always just felt like sex to me." I'm hoping he didn't mean it in the way he said.

"Draco do you hear how shitty that sounds" he just furrows his brows "I mean just because you're "warning" them that it's just sex to you doesn't make it any less of you using them"

"I've never thought of it as using them." He turns on his side so he's now facing me on the couch, "I mean usually I make sure that all of the girls I do have sex with understand that it is just that, and they always get that, we always walk past each other like nothing happened, but she's acting a lot different than all of the other girls and it's kind of making me upset, because I did try to lay it out for her."

"Okay then at that point you really just need to talk to her." I just get an eye roll in response

I start getting slightly frustrated so I just get up and start walking to my room but not without saying, "then you can't complain that she's not leaving you alone when you keep giving her the opportunity to keep bugging you when you're not even responding."

I figured he'd just leave after that but i turn around and he's just staring at me with fur round brows, in my doorway, like a fucking creep.

Hes so hard to figure out sometimes and as much as I love being around him we are genuinely just complete opposites and it gets in the way sometimes. I would never change anything about his personality though. Ever.