Prodigal Son

Chapter 30

(Quick Author's note: Sorry again about the delay, you guys! Good news, had my senior prom! Bad news... Pretty much everything else that happened to me recently, heh... I have an ending in sight, and I have everything all mapped out. I think.
Y'know that picture of Elmo with the flames behind him?
Kinda my life rn.
You guys have been really patient with me, and I seriously appreciate that. Sorry about the wonky/inconsistent updates, thanks for being awesome!)
-

Kade rubbed his eyes, tiredness pulling at his lids as he stared at the bed.
The room was dark, the lights of machinery being the only illumination.
Cody lay stretched out, and the soft rise and fall of his chest provided some comfort to Kade.
These days, he felt better when he could see for himself that Cody was okay.
Like any moment now, everything would be revealed as some cruel dream, and Cody was still in the Moor-Bot's clutches.
Seeing him, seeing proof, it helped him rest easier.
A yawn escaped him, exhaustion from the day's events starting to leak out.
He sighed, rubbing his brow as he started to reflect.
-
Earlier Today:

Kade fiddled with his pant legs, squeezing the fabric as everyone awkwardly sat in the plastic chairs pulled up beside the bed.
Doctor Oliver quietly closed the door, taking her own seat in front of the group.
"Before we start... Is there any objections to having medical information and notes from the state mandated evaluations shared aloud? This is a safe environment, and nobody here should feel uncomfortable."
Nobody spoke up, so Doctor Oliver nodded.
"Alright, then, we'll begin."
She held up her files, going through old records for the older Burns, and her personal files on Cody.
"After careful documentation, it's quite obvious that the biggest issue in this family is a lack of communication. I understand that you all collaborate on missions, but that can't be it. It's nowhere near healthy. Let me clarify, everyone handles certain emotional blockages differently, and that's alright! Trauma can manifest in various ways, including struggles in communication. In high pressure situations, it can become a survival mechanism to put up mental walls to protect yourself. Breaking those walls... it's another challenge. You can't force yourself to just smash through them, it takes time and patience to carefully chip away at them. But all of that requires careful communication and a healthy supportive network."
Everyone looked decidedly uncomfortable, but understanding, as she flipped through her notes.
"I understand that stress is a frequent issue within this team, which is common for high pressure jobs such as this. But, how everyone copes with that stress is quite different."
Cody gave an awkward laugh.
"... Heatwave took up yoga, to handle stress, heh..."
"Ah. Now, that's actually a very healthy way of coping! Having a safe and healthy outlet can be a very valuable thing. But, emphasis on safe and healthy. I... I also understand that you all tend to struggle with bottling your emotions. I have the understanding that a frequent issue for some of you is believing that showing vunerability is automatically a weakness."
Kade's eyes became trained on the floor.
"Vunerability can be a hard thing to accept. For some people, they feel as though they can't afford to be.  Some people might feel like it's their job to be the shoulder to cry on for everyone around them, making them afraid to show weakness for fear of being unable to help somebody else."
Charlie clenched his hands together.
"Some of you feel as though bravery and courage are what defines your identity, making you afraid of expressing much else."
Dani's leg bounced, her foot making a small squeak as her shoe swivelled against the floor.
"It's easy to feel as though one small crack could cause to you completely fall apart."
Kade rubbed his neck, eyes still glued downward.
"But we can't avoid breaking. Everyone is forced to confront their limits eventually. Either naturally, or after those walls are shattered from under you, and you're forced to rebuild."
Cody rubbed his neck, his fingers lingering on the rough fibers in the bandages.
"And rebuilding isn't easy. Nowhere near it. Once you grow comfortable with those walls, grow dependant on them, having them ripped away can feel like your world is ending. It can make you feel like nothing can ever be safe again. And that's why the hardest step, will always be asking for help. Because you don't know if you can trust yourself to reach out with those walls down. Because it's that primal instinct to defend yourself when you're wounded, to lash out at anything that gets too close."
Doctor Oliver wasn't oblivious to the discomfort filling the room.
"... I can sense that this isn't an easy subject to think about. You're all heavily defined by what you can contribute to others, aren't you?"
Kade's eyes were glued to the floor.
Chief's head was buried in his hands.
Dani's hands dug into the arms of her chair like a vice.
Cody's hands shook, hovering just above his neck as he tried to avoid grabbing his bandages.
Nobody was expecting Graham to clear his throat.
"... She's right... We've always been like this, haven't we?"
Everyone looked up, shocked.
Graham sighed, rubbing his brow.
"I'm not pretending for one second that this isn't true. I know I've felt the pressure on this family for as long as I can remember. Just growing up... all three of us older kids always joked about how we'd be just like dad, or great-grandpa. When Cody got old enough to want what we wanted, it just seemed normal. Because it was normal for us. But..."
A slow groan escaped him, as he looked at Cody, making contact with his wide eyes.
"... It shouldn't be on an eight year old, to want to risk his life every day. You shouldn't spend your childhood longing to potentially get yourself killed!"
He sighed, then looked down, rubbing his neck.
"... But I guess I'm just a hypocrite. Because we were the same."
A stunned silence was cast over the Burns.
Kade's jaw was practically in the floor, Dani's words seeming to catch in her throat.
But Charlie looked down.
".... You've been holding that in for a long time, haven't you?"
".... Yes."
Graham raised his hands, absently motioning as he started,
"Look... We all have skeletons in the closet, right? I know I do. And... Not going to lie. It's kinda terrifying saying it aloud. Heh. But... I couldn't stop the words from just...  spilling out. And I'm glad."
He stood up, absently pacing around, his hands knitted together.
"... I wish Cody wasn't our wakeup call, but he was. And now we have to live with the consequences. We have to understand those consequences. It's time we finally be open with each other. It's time we finally be honest with each other, without fear of being seen as less for it."
Graham turned, and was caught off guard as his dad suddenly slammed into him, pulling him into a tight hug.
".... Always.... Son.... Graham.... I'm so sorry..."
Graham was surprised, and gently pulled away, but Charlie wasn't offended.
"Sorry, I forgot to ask. I know you're not always comfortable with hugs. But i-"
"No.. it's fine. Just a little surprised."
Cody shifted his position on the bed, his eyes widening.
"... Graham.... You've been struggling too?"
Graham's eyes faced the floor, and he sighed, before looking back up with a bitter smile.
"Did you think you were the only one who felt like they weren't good enough to be on the team? I'm just the Tech guy. I don't do the heavy lifting, I barely get my hands dirty. And I struggle talking to people, I always have. I've always just felt... Invisible. Like nobody ever truly hears me. I've always felt like I'm not good enough."
Cody's eyes were wide, and his hand drifted outward.
"... Graham.. I.. I never knew."
Graham slid back into his chair, sighing.
"... I... I was always afraid to tell people. I've always felt that admitting weakness just means that I can't help anybody. But god... God that was wrong."
"Keeping it in just makes it worse. And... I guess.. kinda sends a message that you're not supposed to share that junk. Nobody else is, so why should you, y'know?"
Dani flushed, looked surprised at what she was saying.
"... Heh... Sorry to interrupt, Graham, but, are we just kinda airing out our dirty laundry now?"
Graham snorted, then nodded.
"Floor's all yours, Dani."
Dani cracked her neck, sighing.
"Okay, may as well throw this out... Sometimes it's hard being the brave one, okay? Have you seen everything we go through on a weekly basis?! I was almost lost in space!!!"
Graham chuckled darkly.
"Welcome to the club..."
Dani groaned, rubbing her brow.
"... I'm gonna say it. Our lives are WEIRD. Really weird. And dangerous. And... I think some of that danger is intentional. I... I'm the thrill seeker, you know? I'm always doing something risky, ever since I was a kid. And that's what people expect from me, you know? So if I can keep a straight face and joke around rock climbing in the canyon, then I have to do the same when our lives are in danger, right? No room for cowards when there's... I don't know... A 30 foot flaming teddy bear on a rampage downtown. No time to think, "OH MY GOD THIS IS INSANE", in that moment, all that matters is saving lives. No time to fear, all we can do is act."
Doctor Oliver frowned, adding,
"So what I'm hearing is, you don't give yourself time to process stress and trauma in a healthy way. Hate to break it to you, but this is a track record with you all."
"But that's the inconvenient part of saving lives. You don't get time. Because it never stops. Don't know if you noticed, but Griffin Rock is a literal disaster area. Somebody is and will always be in trouble."
"So that mask always stays up?"
"... What choice do we have?"
Doctor Oliver nodded, flipping through her papers.
"Again, this "Life or Death" thought process has a pattern. This family has an inability to seperate duty and leisure. And without breaks, that stress from duty impacts your daily life, seriously damaging mental and physical health."
With that last part, her eyes narrowed on Charlie, who suddenly felt nervous.
"... Speaking of Stress impacting physical health...."
She pulled his file to the top of the stack, and her steely gaze seemed to stare into his soul.
"Let's see.... I understand you've been diagnosed with Canities Subita, or as it's more commonly known, Thomas Moore/Marie Antoinette Syndrome."
Instantly, the kids all looked over.
Dani's eyes were wide, asking,
"Wait, I've heard of that! Isn't that the condition that causes your hair to turn white from stress?"
Charlie instinctively ran a hand through his hair, flushing.
".. well..."
Graham added
"Yeah, why didn't you tell us?"
Cody thought on it, and realized.
"Hey... That explains why Uncle Woodrow doesn't have any grey hair! You guys are close in age, right?"
Kade couldn't help himself, snorting,
"No offense Dad, but we just thought the hair was because, y'know, you're old."
Charlie gave Kade a dry look.
"Oh, ha ha."
"My point is," Doctor Oliver continued,
"Is that stress can be severely damaging. The relationships in this family have become so splintered because of the walls you've all created as coping mechanisms. And furthermore, neglecting your physical and emotional needs for the sake of duty has genuine consequences. On multiple levels."
Charlie looked down, and she smirked.
"Don't think I'm done with you just yet. I'd also like to talk about that failed attempt at retirement."
Charlie sighed, looking further flustered.
"... Well, it's not like I could retire in the middle of an alien invasion!"
"Right, the Velgrox, correct?"
"Yeah... Then, the Bots's secret got revealed, and we had to deal with that, so it just wasn't an opportune time."
"So, when will it be?"
She looked at him pointedly, growing more serious.
"What exactly are you waiting for?"
"...."
"What Dani said earlier, she has a point. A damn good one. There will always be more emergencies. If you just keep waiting, you'll be working forever."
Cody cracked a small smile.
"And just waiting for things to change isn't exactly fun. Take it from me."
Doctor Oliver flipped through his files, and he could only feel nervous.
"However. I bring up the retirement for a reason. According to your files, your retirement was actually recommended by your doctors, following concern over potential Heart problems."
All four siblings whipped around at that, jaws dropped.
"WHAT?!"
Charlie imedianty raised his hands, seeing the instant panic.
"HOLD IT! Nobody panic!"
Dani demanded,
"You're having heart problems and never told us?!"
Kade nodded, snarking,
"Seems like a pretty good reason to panic!"
"It's nothing serious! ... Yet. Kids, I promise, I would've told you all if it was something to be worried about. Doctor McSwain is just... Concerned about the constant stress. I'm getting older. And... I guess I just can't handle the strain as well as I used to."
Cody breathed a sigh of relief, and the tension in the room dropped slightly.
"Dad... you... You can't just keep going if it's a risk to your heart."
"The truth is, none of you can keep going. Not like this."
Doctor Oliver's gaze turned to the remaining team, rattling off her list one by one.
"As of right now, I have no choice. I'm Deeming the entire rescue team mentally and physically unfit for duty. As of now, you're all benched."
"WAIT WHAT-"
"YOU CAN'T JUST-"
"WHY-"
Doctor Oliver held up a hand, sighing.
"I know this seems harsh. But... Look at you all. You're tired. You're burnt out. You're suffering physically. If you keep going like this, you're only going to get worse. You have to take care of yourselves. You need a break."
Everyone looked like they had something they needed to say,
But Kade's voice cut through.
"She's right."
Kade had stood up, and was facing the window, his back to the group.
"Just... Just look at us. Did you honestly think we could just go right back into duty, after all this? I... I know we didn't have a plan for.... After... But... But..."
Kade leaned over, his hands gripping the windowsill tightly.
".... This right here? If only Icarus could see us now... It's a fall a long time coming. We're falling apart. .... I'm falling apart."
He started shaking, his eyes burning from fixating on the glare reflected in the glass.
"... How messed up is that, that it took Cody being kidnapped to get us to admit our problems? Look at me... I'm just the meathead, okay? I've known it for a long time, everyone expects it from me, I just got used to it. I'm not the sensitive one, I'm not the smart one, I'm Kade the bonehead, the self centered jerk with an ego, who's always doing something dumb, always screwing things up. That's who I've ALWAYS been. But I. Am. Tired. I'm tired. I'm so, so tired."
He pulled away from the window, his eyes burning, his face shaking.
"... I almost lost my little brother, and I was SCARED. I'm still scared! But I'm not supposed to be scared. Because I'm the muscle, the big, strong meathead. I am not. Supposed. To break. But guess what?"
Kade gave a wet, shaking sigh, burying his face in his hands.
Slowly, he pulled his hands away, revealing wide eyes briming with tears.
"... I'm scared. I. Am. Scared. And I can't keep going, guys. I can't. I need a break."
Without warning, Dani slammed into Kade's side, wrapping her arms around him tightly.
"... Okay... Kade.... You're not just a meathead. I promise, we don't think that."
Cody nodded, swinging his legs over the side of the bed, and motioning to Graham to help him.
Graham obliged, and Cody leaned against him as the two of them walked over, joining Dani in the hug.
"Kade, you told me once that we're all boneheads, right? That means we all screw up. That means we all have our meathead days. We're all screwups sometimes, okay?"
Graham nodded, saying,
"Yeah! Uh... Remember that time I tried fixing the toaster, and accidentally set dad's apron on fire? And we had to go get a new one before he got home? At least most of your screwups don't involve accidental arson!"
"Most of them..."
Charlie joined the group hug, pulling his kids tight.
"... I am so... So sorry... Kids... I've been so... So blind... To the pressure you've all been under. What that pressure was doing to you. I should've realized it sooner... I should've helped you all sooner.... I should've never let things reach this point.."
Graham chuckled bitterly.
"Hard to throw somebody a life preserver when you're drowning too."
The air around them seemed to change.
Even with the released pain,
There was something... Lighter.
Doctor Oliver smiled, then set down her notes.
"See, this, this is good progress. You can't be afraid to be Vulnerable with one another."
Charlie sighed, his grip on his kids relaxing, but his arms still lingering.
".... Kids... I'm so sorry... I... I've always seen the pressure on our family... And I've failed you all, by not doing anything about it."
Doctor Oliver caught his eye, sighing.
"It's clear to me that a lot of these repressed feelings and struggles with personal inadequacy stem from a perpetuating cycle of Generational Trauma."
"... Generational Trauma? What do you mean?"
"I mean.... These cycles of pressure to live up to your family legacy, patterns of neglecting personal needs for the sake of duty, this is all generational. Behaviors and thought processes can be handed down, between parents, between siblings, these patterns can always rub off and influence other members of the family. Sometimes, that can manifest in harmful cycles of behavior that get handed down."
The Burnses all digested this information, and Dani's eyes net the floor.
"... You mean... Like dealing with being talked down to by talking down to somebody else? Like... What I used to do to Cody?"
Doctor Oliver didn't have a trace of judging on her face.
"Precisely. From what I've heard about the history of this family, these issues have been manifesting for a very, very long time. This isn't new. But a way to break this cycle could be."
Cody hissed suddenly, pain in his legs stinging.
Graham imedianty broke out of the hug, guiding him back to the bed.
With that, everyone took to their own seats, but they shared a lingering look.
For the first time in a long time, they really and truly understood one another.
And they knew what they had to do.
-
Now:
The sun had long set, shadows cast in the darkened room.
Cody squirmed in his bed, muttering something unintelligible under his breath.
He shivered, and Kade leaned over, grabbing the blanket off the end, and draping it over him.
Kade sat back down, sighing.
"... Rest up, buddy... We've got a lot to think about..."