Prodigal Son

Chapter 32

Author's Note: Okie dokie folks, here's the deal.
1: I am so sorry for the increasing delays in-between chapters. Truth is... Lately I've just been too depressed to write. I graduated, moving out, fighting and dealing with some toxic people, ect. I barely have the strength to get out of bed some days. But...
2: We're in the endgame now, people! Story's wrapping up, only a few more chapters to go, and I have a BIG finale planned!!! So, with that said....
3: I hope you all have been enjoying this brain-child of mine, and words cannot describe how sincerely greatful I am to all of you for reading this.
This is... The first fic I've ever uploaded in full. Writing is my biggest passion, but I've never finished a story. My only other fic uploaded... Kinda died. I've NEVER made it this far on a story. Ever.
Again, thank you so much for your patience, we're nearing the end now.
Now, back to our regularly scheduled Trauma:
-

"And how long has this been going on for?"
"... Since I woke up."
Cody stared down at his feet, trying to avoid everyone's eyes.
"... I think he's gone now. Well... not really gone, But... Since I woke up... It's like there's been this little voice, in the back of my head. It keeps telling me... That I can never be forgiven, for what I did. That I don't deserve forgiveness. And... I don't think that guilt is ever going to go away, you know? I know... I'm always going to feel terrible about what I did. Always. But... I can't let that guilt drown me, right?"
Slowly, he looked up, meeting everyone's eyes.
"... I... I was afraid of telling anybody. I... didn't want to be judged. I didn't want you to think... I was evil."
Charlie imedianty leaned over, grabbing his son's hands, and staring into his eyes.
"Cody. We would never think of you as evil. I promise."
"I just...."
Cody glanced over at Kade, and his hand clenched the rim of the bed.
".... Kade... I... I know I haven't talked about it. But... That night... In the tunnels..."
Kade froze.
Everyone looked at another uncomfortably, as Cody's eyes net the floor.
"... I tried to kill you, Kade... I tried to kill everyone. But.... It's burned into my memory, y'know?"
That night in the tunnel.
The fake cries for Kade's attention.
The blood on his hands.
He'd never forget.
Because he knew he'd always be haunted by how good it felt.
That raw rush of adrenaline coursing through him... A powerful feeling.
A dark feeling.
A hand on his shoulder pulled him from his thoughts.
Kade's eyes were heavy, but a breath coursed deep through his chest.
".... I'm not gonna lie to you, Squirt. I was scared. Really scared. But I can honestly say, I never once blamed you. I promise."
Cody's eyes flickered up at the bandages around Kade's forehead, then sighed, Instinctively reaching to his own.
"... I know. But let me apologize. Please. I don't think I'll ever make this guilt go away."
Doctor Oliver frowned, a sadness leaking into her features.
"... If I may? The truth is... This feeling isn't something that can just go away, Cody. It's... A hard burden to bear. No matter the situation, Trauma-induced guilt is something that tends to persist. But. You can release some of it. With time. And proper support."
Cody slowly let a hand drift to his chest.
He thought of what had persisted in his dreams.
What had persisted by his own Accord.
I promise.
".. It's not a matter of forgetting... It's a matter of closure."
"Exactly."
Doctor Oliver glanced at her notes, then lowered her files, gazing at each Burns.
"Look. During the past session, we made some really great progress. Specifically, finally talking about certain issues related to long-standing communication problems. However. There's a related issue I'd like to discuss."
Cody felt uncomfortable as her gaze grew pointed.
"We've discussed in large, how feelings of exclusion from his family have contributed to poor mental health and issues with self worth. However. There's two sides to the story here. Truth is... Keeping a child away from a life threatening career is just the right call. While there was certainly wrongful execution, there were also good intentions."
Cody's face dropped, his shoulders slumping.
"... Yeah. I... I get it. I didn't like it. I never did. But... Sometimes the right calls are the hardest, right?"
Now was Charlie's turn to lean over, his face soft.
"Son... Keeping you on the sidelines, keeping you in the command center, it was never a punishment. I just... Wanted you to make the most of your childhood. I didn't want you to grow up too fast, to loose that big heart of yours. I tried so hard to get you to understand... but clearly..."
He pulled Cody in tight for a hug.
His breath was shallow, feeling a dull pain in his chest as he felt his son's heartbeat.
"... I didn't try hard enough."
-
"... Sir?"
Optimus turned, seeing Chase gazing at him uneasily.
"Chase. Are you alright?"
Chase entered the bunker, his hands twitching with unease.
"... Sir. I trust that you have the understanding that once given an order, I follow it to the letter. I will not defy protocol, unless given an extremely valid reason to do so. But... In the event orders are not directly issued, I... Believe certain liberties may be taken.
"Chase, I do not believe I am following."
Chase sighed, his optics meeting Prime's.
"... I wish to... Discuss the battle. And certain words that were exchanged between opposing parties."
Optimus tensed, yet nodded.
"Proceed."
Chase hesitated a moment, words from the battle ringing in his mind.
Only an innocent mind could understand the reason you denied everything from the precious Firebot who idolized you more than anybody you'd ever seen.
"... Sir. The Moor-Bot made some... Pointed accusations, during the conflict. Accusations pointed towards your true reasoning for our stationing here. And more so... That these reasonings were entrusted to Cody."
"... I did not know you had taken note."
"Respectfully, sir, I request an explanation."
"... Very well."
Optimus turned away, his head bowing.
"I will admit to you, Chase. I have lied. Or... Been intentionally misleading in my stated reasoning. It is a burden which has consumed me. My reasonings for stationing you here... Were born of a selfish nature."
"... Sir..."
Shame stung at Optimus's expression.
"... Cody Burns is a quiet boy. But, when in private... Wounds are revealed. He was quite eager to be my guide, as I watched your performances from the sidelines. He is also quite curious. And it was that curiosity that led to enlightening discussions. I found him quite easy to converse with. And... It was I stared into the face of his abductor, that I feared I had made a grave error."
Optimus met chase again.
"... my reasoning I have given you is correct. As the last remaining Cybertronian rescue force, I believed stationing you among humans was more valuable than combat. But... That was not the entirety of it. Rather... You were young. Younger than my scout."
"... Sir?"
"... You were civilians, on Cybertron. You had no place in combat. No experience. You did not have skills required for survival on the battlefield... And I did not wish for you to aquire them. You posessed an innocence I had not seen in our kind for a very long time. An Innocence I did not know if I would ever see again. So... Despite our limited numbers in battle... I made a choice. Be it right or wrong, it is a choice I will forever bear."
An understanding clicked within Chase's spark.
"... Sir..."
Optimus presses a hand to his spark chamber.
"Primus forgive me. I kept you here because I wanted you to live. During times of dire crisis, I chose preservation of innocence over added allies on the front lines. But despite my reasoning... I endangered yet another."
"... You told Cody that you did not wish for us to see the horrors of war."
"... Yes..."
Optimus's hand clenched into a fist.
"... It was not difficult to see Heatwave's romanticism of battle. I believe he has glorified the truth of being on the front lines. And... He had glorified his image of myself. An undying faith in a fabled paragon... Which I hardly live up to. This was only proved by these very words coming back to haunt me."
"You were unprepared for Cody to weaponize these words, albeit unwittingly so."
Optimus's hand released, his form slumping.
"... That is correct."
"Then... If I am to understand... you kept us stationed here... Because you knew we would not survive war."
Chase's hand went to his sirens, a dark look overtaking his face.
"We had neither the knowledge nor equipment. You knew you would be sending us to die. So despite certain desires to help our homeworld, to preserve our culture, to live the only life we'd ever known, we were sent here."
Optimus turned away.
He couldn't face him.
"That... is correct..."
The sound of footsteps made both sparks freeze solid.
"... Sir... What in Primus...."
Optimus felt his fluids churning as He turned.
But it was the look of utter betrayal etched into Heatwave's optics that made his spark truly shatter.
-
"Dad..."
Cody was stunned, letting his father's warmth settle into his bones.
Charlie sighed, his arms tight around his youngest.
"I'm so sorry... I thought I was doing the right thing..."
Cody leaned into his touch, and sighed.
That tightness in his chest returned, and he felt the words bubbling on his tounge.
"Dad... I... I just..."
".... I know... I know...."
Cody sighed, letting his breath fill his lungs.
"... I'm not ready. I wasn't ready."
"What?"
Charlie pulled away, and everyone stared at Cody.
Cody knitted his hands together, his face flushing.
"... You... Told me just before... Before it happened... You told me I wasn't ready. That I would find my place, when the time came."
"I... I should've made you feel included..."
Charlie felt Kade grip his shoulder, his oldest giving him a knowing look.
Cody took in a deep breath, then looked up, meeting the gaze of his family.
"... I wanted to grow up too fast, didn't I?"
His head bowed, and his eyes softened.
"I wanted to be like you guys... And it hurt when I was told no. But... I don't know... Maybe I understand. Kinda. I know I didn't like being told no.... But... Maybe... You didn't like having to tell me."
Charlie got up from his seat, and kneeled down next to his youngest.
A sigh escaped him, his eyes soft as he met Cody's face.
"Son... Sometimes... When you care about somebody, the hardest thing you can do... Is tell them no."
-
"Heatwave... I... I..."
He wasn't used to seeing the Prime nervous.
He'd long built up the image of Optimus as a stoic, unshakable, towering pillar of authority.
The only time as of recent he'd seen Optimus behaving erratically, was just before the award ceremony.
But here, here as Optimus tripped over his words, as he clutched the metal disk in his palm, as his jaw grinded together,
His view of the Prime changed.
Here he saw nerves, he saw the tremble of his hands, the grind on his jaw.
Here he saw vunerability.
"... Optimus.... Is this true?"
Heatwave's tone was even, but the fire in his eyes betrayed him.
".... You lied to me... All this time..."
"Heatwave... Let me explain-"
"Explain what?!"
Optimus cane closer, and Heatwave stepped back, his arms absently raising in front of him.
"Sir... I... I trusted you..."
"Heatwave... Please... I was not entirely dishonest. I did think you were uniquely suited to bridge a gap with humanity, to become part of a family. And you did... You did so much more.... words cannot convey the pride I have felt... Seeing you grow... Seeing you flourish... For I feel you have connected with humans... Been accepted by them... better than myself."
Heatwave's hands tightened, and he had to steadily relax his grip, or else crush the medal.
"This was years of having to gain their trust. Years of learning, understanding, trying to understand, fighting, making up, this was YEARS of building bridges. I had to earn my way with them."
Heatwave suddenly charge forward, a hand pointedly jabbing out at Optimus, his finger pointed out as the ribbon of the medal dangled below his grip.
"... You never had to earn my trust. From the moment I laid eyes on you, you had it. I gave you everything I could give. I idolized you... I wanted to BE you. You were everything to me. I did anything it took for your approval! Evey order, no matter how wrong it seemed, no matter how little sense it made, I did it. I followed it. I followed you. From the moment I met you... I didn't know what you were to me."
Optimus's spark panged, a deep burn settling inside him.
"I don't know what you are to me now."
The Prime turned away, his jaw grinding together as his shoulder brushed Heatwave's touch.
Heatwave pulled away, his arm dropping to his side.
"... I just wanted to know I was doing the right thing... Weeks without contact from you turned to months. Months turned to years. There were times I thought you forgot about us."
Heatwave turned around, his frame bending, as the rage started to drain away.
"... I just wanted you to... Approve of me, I guess. I wanted your respect. I wanted to live up to your legacy. I... I don't... Understand..."
Optimus sighed, glancing back over.
"... I knew what you wanted from me, Heatwave. And I knew I could not provide it. I'd hoped... You could receive it here. And you did."
"... Receive what? What are you-"
"If I may?"
Both Heatwave and Optimus looked over, and Heatwave flinched slightly, having almost forgotten that Chase was even there.
Chase looked stoic as ever, but his tone was soft.
"I do not wish to pry. I understand that this is a rather... delicate situation. I also do not consider myself very well versed in emotional matters. However... There is an inconsistency in your recollection, Heatwave."
Chase's digits knitted together nervously, his arms bouncing as he avoided direct optic contact.
"Our very first night... You did not stay for Optimus. This is something you have brought up many times, as of recent. Including with Blurr, just a day ago. You were angry, and quite willing to defy authority. You did not stay for Optimus. You stayed Instead-"
"For Cody..."
Heatwave sighed, his form slumping.
"I know... I know. I stayed because of him, not orders. Old news."
Optimus gazed at Heatwave, his eyes trembling, his tone soft.
"... Heatwave. You stayed because you cared about him. I... I did not express it then. Perhaps I should've. But you have made me so very proud. The smallest of actions... It is immeasurable growth."
Optimus stepped forward, and Heatwave didn't fight it as he grabbed his shoulder.
"Heatwave... I saw so much promise, upon our first meeting. I saw a young, determined, resourceful leader. I knew you could flourish, I knew you could become a great leader. But... Only with the proper environment. With time, patience, support, and grounds to make mistakes. This... This is not something you could receive in War. But you received it here. And you received so much more."
Heatwave sighed, raising his hand.
He stared at the medal, and felt something bubble within his spark.
"... You kept us from war... But war came to us."
"I... Am aware..."
Optimus's hand drifted from his shoulder, and slowly traced the scars gouged into Heatwave's chest.
".... I... Wish to express something."
"... Sir?"
Optimus sighed.
"... In my lifetime... I have seen many perish before my eyes. It is the curse of leadership. It is the curse of war. Many dear friends have been lost before me... It is a horrible feeling. In... In the last stages of our war... My young scout... Bumblebee... Gone before my eyes. I watched the light drain from his optics. And I had only one thought. I'd failed him."
".... Optimus..."
A bitter, pained look overtook the prime.
His fist clenched, a low hiss escaped him, and his jaw grinded against his dentas.
".... It was as though a piece of my very spark had been torn from me."
"Sir... I'm so sorry..."
Optimus breathed deeply, and slowly relaxed himself.
"... My young scout was lucky. Not many cheat the well. But he did. But every time I dwell upon the moment... I can only recall one thought. I wished it were myself instead."
Optimus met Heatwave's optics, a burning pain in them.
"... In the fight... I found myself reliving old memories. I felt my spark shatter as I saw you fade. And yet... You were accepting. Even as you were dying... You comforted another. You were at peace... When so few are. And I was reminded as to my ulterior motives for placing you here."
Heatwave reeled, and Optimus continued.
"... I could not give you the guidance you needed. I could steer you along, give you measures to stay on the fight track. But what you truly needed... Compassion. Empathy. Kindness. The growth you truly needed would not happen on the battlefield. So I distanced myself. I watched you grow from afar."
Optimus pulled away, and Heatwave sighed.
"Sir... I'm sorry. I... Overreacted."
"No. You were just in your reaction."
Optimus slowly pulled a hand to his chest, taking a moment to feel the beat of his Spark.
".... In our world... we are not given a choice in who we become. Roles are assigned from creation. This has been different, since arriving here. But when you arrived here... I deprived you of that choice. It has haunted me. Yet... I feel as though I have made the correct call."
Heatwave traced the scars, and squeezed his optics closed.
"... Maybe you did. I didn't get to choose... But... Maybe it was what I needed. After all... I learned, didn't I?"
And then Optimus was back, his hands firmly grasping Heatwave's shoulders.
"You have done so much more than Learn... You have come so far... You have grown so much..."
"... Everything is changing, sir... Nothing can really be the same, after all this. And I'm not sure it should be."
Optimus only nodded.
"Amid the changing tides, the biggest challenge is staying above the water."
"But... We are not currently in water."
Heatwave chuckled, glancing over at Chase.
"It's a Metaphor, buddy. He means... A lot of things are kinda scary right now, but... We can't let that consume us. We have to keep going."
Optimus nodded, adding,
"Stay strong, but do not neglect your own needs. Do not be afraid to nourish yourself."
Heatwave again looked at the medal.
He rubbed it, and as he traced the engraving, he had one thought.
He was where he needed to be.
-
Charlie learned against the brick of the hospital's exterior, closing his eyes as he heaved in a deep breath.
He let the fresh air sink deeply into his lungs, when he felt someone beside him.
"... Hey, brother..."
"Hey, Woody."
He opened his eyes, seeing Woodrow sheepishly beside him.
"I.. uh... Can we talk?"
"Everything okay?"
Woodrow was radiating with nervous energy, his hands fidgeting together and his feet bouncing up and down.
"Listen, Charlie... I.. uh.. man am I bad at this... But Secret Agent Man- I mean Agent- I MEAN- oh whatever... Y'know, he told me to man up and talk to you, so I'm here, and-"
"Woody. Take a breath."
Charlie smirked, and Woodrow flushed, then did as instructed.
He took a breath, then calmed down, his feet stopping the bouncing.
"Okay... Sorry, think I'm good."
Charlie frowned slightly. He hasn't seen his brother this nervous in a while.
"Is something wrong?"
"... Kinda. But... It's on me."
Woodrow sighed, leaning against the brick.
"... I... I haven't been really involved in the family. I visit every once in a while, send cards and gifts for holidays, but... I'm never here. I'm not really part of my Niece and Nephew's lives. I'm not part of your life. Charlie... I'm not here when you need me. It took my Nephew getting kidnapped and Mind controlled to get me to stop of my adventures, THIS IS ONLY SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN ON TV!!!"
Charlie sighed, his knees bending as he slumped down.
"I... I know. I think we've all been rethinking our priorities lately. We're a family that's seen a lot of emergencies, a lot of dark times. But this time... This time it hit. it hit, and hit hard."
"I don't know how you do it... Dealing with stuck dolphins is one thing. I don't know how you've been doing this, all these years."
"Sometimes... Neither do I."
Woodrow reached over, his face uncharacteristically stoic.
"... I think I'm going to settle down."
"... What?"
Woodrow looked a little surprised at himself for what he was saying, then nodded, repeating himself.
"I'm settling down. I'm moving into town for good. No more drifting. From here on out, I'm being here for my family. I swear to you, Charlie."
Charlie was stunned.
He couldn't speak, the words seemingly glued to his tounge.
Woodrow chuckled, but bitterly so.
"I know, right? Nobody would ever expect that from me."
He sighed, and took a seat, lightly slumping his back against the wall.
"You've been cleaning up my messes since we were kids. I remember when we were teens... Everyone knew I had a few screws loose. There were a couple times dad couldn't look at me in public. I'm not ashamed of who I am. I'm just... Tired of not being there for my family."
Charlie slumped down beside him, feeling the slightly-damp grass.
"... You don't have a screw loose. And... I don't know. I'll be honest. Sometimes, I resented you. But... Looking back.. I know you didn't mean anything by it. You weren't trying to hurt people. But. I appreciate you taking responsibility for your actions."
He looked at Woodrow, his face soft.
"... Woody. Listen. I've always just accepted you the way you are. To me, I can genuinely say that I disaprove of some of your actions, but I've never believed you have anything "wrong" with you. However... Our family is discovering some things about ourselves. Cody was diagnosed with Depression, PTSD, and Anxiety, and Doctor Mcswain suggested he be tested for ADHD. You know Graham's been diagnosed with Autism since he was 13, and Dani's been diagnosed with ADHD for a while. And... Neurodivergence tends to be genetic."
"... Oh."
Woodrow's eyes went wide as his jaw dropped.
A soft breath escaped him, hissing through his teeth.
"... You think?"
"Maybe. I'm not pretending to be an expert on this. I'm still learning. But... Our generation wasn't as exposed to all this. We were just kinda expected to tough it out. But that doesn't mean we have to now."
Woodrow was quiet, then chuckled.
"Look at us... When did we become old men?"
"Heh... Who knows... Who knows..."
Charlie sighed, rubbing his neck.
"... I'm almost glad we got benched. I'm... Honestly not sure if we would've taken the time otherwise. Time we need. Both to tend to Cody, and sort out our other issues. But..."
"You're worried."
"Yeah. Literally every other time we've been off-duty, the island falls apart in a matter of minutes. It's like something out of a cartoon."
He slumped forward, his hands rubbing together.
"I've been talking to Doctor Oliver about establishing a work/life balance. And... God forbid... Maybe even retire someday. Between my age, stress, and worry about my heart.... I might be getting to old for this. But I just... Feel like I wouldn't know what to do with myself. Not with everything that's happened lately."
Woodrow was quiet for a moment, then suddenly looked up, a smile spreading across his lips as a determined, somewhat crazed look overtaking his widened eyes.
"Uh oh... I know that look... Woody, what are you thinking?"
"Nothing... Nothing concerning at all..."
"... Pretty sure the last time you said that, it ended with me hanging upside-down from the roof."
Woodrow laughed, then lightly touched his shoulder.
"Aw, c'mon! I promise, it's nothing bad. Probably."
-
Mayor Lusky leaned over his desk, sighing to himself as he sorted out paper after paper.
A rap on the doorframe made him look up, and his pen fumbled out of his grasp.
Agent Fowler, Woodrow, and Agent Raphael all waited in the doorway.
Fowler gave him a pointed glare, raising an eyebrow.
"We need a moment."
Lusky sighed, and nodded.
"I suppose this is about the rescue team's medical grounding. Doctor Mcswain already called me."
Fowler nodded, stepping closer.
"Yeah. They all need mental recovery time, plus time to tend to Cody's physical therapy and recovery. I assume you have issues with this."
Lusky's eyes drifted down to his desk, scanning the paperwork without really registering it.
"... No."
"Shocker, based on what I've heard about their work hours. Work hours that, funny story, are dangerously over legal limits, even for emergency response."
"What do you want from me?"
Fowlers hand connected with the table. Not quite slamming down, but forceful enough to make a sound.
Both Raphael and Woodrow flinched a bit, surprised as all of Fowler's pleasantries seemed to drain right out of him.
"I want changes around here. Big changes. I'm going to be nice here, and believe you me, I can be a mean son of a bitch when I want to be. But I'm gonna play nice. Wether or not you actually deserve that."
Woodrow and Raphael physically backed up, exchanging a stunned look as Fowler's cold eyes met Lusky's.
"I expect reduced hours, increased pay, paid vacation leave, and MASSIVELY improved insurance deals. See, I took a good long look at the current work schedule."
Fowler leaves in closer, his face inches away from the mayor.
"You've got the only people you can depend on being worked to the bone. ILLEGALLY worked to the bone. Shape up, or ship out. I'm not a man to abuse my power, but something tells me Uncle Sam wouldn't lose any sleep if I made sure you got your comuppence. So tell me. Are you going to play nice? Or am I gonna be looking for a new Mayor?"
Lusky's eyes dropped, a defeated, drained energy overtaking the man as he slumped over.
"... Take whatever action you need. I won't fight it."
"Good. Good."
With that, it was like somebody had flipped a switch.
Fowler let go of the desk, stepping back.
The anger drained out of his being, and he almost smiled.
"And they say I'm not a people person."
He glanced over at the other two, and nodded.
The three exchanged a look, then Woodrow took the floor.
"So. My brother and the family are off limits until further notice. But.... Maybe you won't be without a rescue team..."