𝖑𝖊𝖌𝖆𝖈𝖎𝖊𝖘||𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖔𝖘

1.4

jan 27 2007

It had been two months. Two months since she had lost her brother, her best friend, and the only person she felt still loved her.

She was a mess, much more than usual. Her siblings felt it as well. Since the incident in the kitchen, she had been avoiding them. She was trying to avoid confrontation with any of them. For their sake, she knew she was unhinged. Any slightest unpredictable movement was pure torture for them. Her room was constantly bursting into flames, it was always dark and all the peace and calmness of the humble abode had been sucked out of it.

She hadn't slept since Ben had passed. She just couldn't fathom it. That bed was the very same bed that Ben had slept in, next to her, the night before he died. Any time she closed her eyes, all she saw was his face. His pale, lifeless face. His eyes were open and they would stare into her soul. It shook her to the core.

Nakia knew, she knew that Ben had died because of her. She had been mouthing off to the suspect, putting her life in danger. Ben had saved her. He had risked his life and future just so his sister didn't suffer from her stupid decision.

He risked his life, and he died. For her.

And now she couldn't eat, sleep, or function properly. Now she had lost all of her friends. She was completely isolated from the people who loved her.

Since she hadn't been sleeping, Nakia hadn't been seeing Ophelia. Her dream buddy had to be worrying about her. It wasn't like she didn't try, but after days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months without sleep, she just gave up. Ophelia could be dead for all she knew. And she wasn't there to prevent it.

It wouldn't be the first time.

Five, Ben, Ophelia. She'd let them all down.

And quite honestly, she wasn't surprised anymore. She didn't want to live anymore.

Right about now, she was just waiting.

Waiting for peace.

Waiting for freedom.

Waiting for death.

✁- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

She was sprawled on the black carpet, too tired to move. She had her Walkman in her ears listening to music. This was Ben's gift to her. He bought it to cheer her up. She never even repaid him for it.

"Most of freedom and of pleasure,"

"Teens do this all the time,"

"Nothing ever lasts forever,"

"Alright,"

"Everybody wants to rule the world,"

"Hi, Ben,"

"There's a room where the light won't find you,"

"I wanted to give you this,"

"Holding hands while the walls come tumbling down,"

"Maybe it'll make you feel better,"

She picked up the Walkman, staring at it while the music continued to play. She sighed. She was a terrible sister.

"Good night Kia,"

"When they do I'll be right behind you,"

She began to cry quietly. Ben had been nothing but sweet to her. She couldn't shake the feeling that this was her fault.