A Loser's Guide to be Noticeable

1: Know Your School's Food Chain

Gasping for air, almost wheezing, I stopped running for a moment and walked to the front of the bleachers to steady myself. My shirt was wet with cold sweat and my legs were wobbling like cooked spaghetti. I removed my glasses and wiped away the fog and sweat.

I hate PE. It was a subject to torture people like me: they made us run for three laps to make us vomit the food we ate for breakfast, they made us dance to humiliate and stomped our dignity, they made us play sports so that they could demean our weak bodies. And they covered it with words saying it was for our health -- which ended up having bruises and torn muscles. I mean, come on. Really? Whoever invented the PE subject was really ignorant of the capabilities of others.

A whistle came before a series of laughter. I stiffened and glanced at the bleachers.

"Your ass looks good, Felix," Jaeden shouted before another laughter. One of his friends laughed like a pig.
I didn't say anything; instead, I focused on my classmates who were now done their third lap and were now sitting and crouching, breathing. Mr. Ostrong, our teacher was there, holding his clipboard as he was talking and checking.

"Are you okay?" Lawrence asked when he passed me.

"Ay, ay. The lovebirds are here," Jaeden shouted again and earned him another laugh.

Lawrence frowned and raised a finger to them, which made them even laugh more.

"Ignore them. I'm fine. Let's go."

Lawrence nodded and we continued our run.

"Where are you going? Trying to find somewhere to kiss?" That made me tripped. But I didn't look back as we finished our running.

I knew Jaeden shouted that because he wanted us to remember that moment when we were in ninth grade. Being a new student in Middlewood High, I was friendless because my best friend back then, Jaeden Savon, backstabbed me and spread at the school that I was gay in eighth grade. I was still not out. And I didn't plan to be out because my life was not easy being half-Filipino in this town that was dominated by religious, white people. I had barely any friends in school, but when everyone knew that I was gay, it made me look like I had a disease. I was a target of bullying, and everyone kept their distance from me because they either were afraid of being bullied by associating with me or their parents doesn't approve (and guess what how many of them came out now in high school?).

Anyway, Jaeden and his friends were making fun with another gay kid and as I was trying to stir away, he saw me and forced me to kiss this kid or else he would punch us (and, honestly, Jaeden was a threat-but-not-act kind of guy). The kid and I didn't do it. So Jaeden and his friends walked away. The kid sighed in relief that we didn't receive any blows.

"My name's Lawrence, Lawrence Cooper." Then he offered his hands.

I shook it. "Felix Finnegan."

And ever since then, Lawrence and I became friends. But that friendship made Jaeden circulate that Lawrence and I were in a relationship--he even made a page named "Lawlex" (what a lame name). But everyone doesn't care anymore--we're not in middle school, for Christ's sake--so the page was deleted. And even with everything, at least, thanks to Jaeden (even if he doesn't deserve it), he got me a new best friend.

After Mr. Ostrong talked about nonsense, he dismissed us. And after the shower and now dressed in comfortable clothes, I was feeling okay again.

"Thank God, PE's done," Lawrence said as we walked to the cafeteria for lunch.

"Yeah, for a week." I chuckled when he groaned. Our PE was only once a week, every Wednesday, the whole morning. But it was brutal that even if we were Sophomores now, we still didn't adapt to it and complained.
A long line was already formed inside the cafeteria. I hate this kind of scene, but I didn't like bringing food either. Ever since Mom cooked me a Monggo with rice inside a Tupperware in third grade, everyone avoided me. The trauma was still etched in my mind.
So we endured the hassle. Minutes after, we had our food and sat at the available table in the far corner--known as the Loser's Table. I didn't know who started that rumor, but since, we--the extras in the movie-like life of these popular kids--huddled at the same corner, they named it that way.