A Loser's Guide to be Noticeable

9: You Need to Understand that there's a Chance of Failure

Nightmares became rare when I... I wasn't sure when the nightmares became rare. But when shit was still fresh, I got nightmares of being in a dark place. Trap and alone. No windows, no doors, not even a wall. Just a dark, blank place. I was crying for help, desperate for anyone to hear me, just anyone so I wouldn't feel alone.

No one came.

That was enough to make me wake up in the middle of the night. Damp in cold sweat as I was panting and shaking.

But the nightmare I had after that talk with Jaeden was different.

We were at the back of the school building. Somehow, the horrid smell from the dumpster was nowhere.

Tears were running down my cheeks as Jaeden was in front of me. His hands were clenching, betrayal was on his face.

"You're a liar. You lure me into doing this. You just want revenge. Are you happy? Are you happy seeing me so devastated? You put me into your scheme, making me do things I didn't want. For what? For breaking my heart? I love her, but you blew my chance..."

It kept going and going. I wanted to say that it wasn't what I meant, that I wouldn't do anything to harm him. That I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry, Jaeden. Please, forgive me.

When I woke up, my pillow was damp from my tears.

It was a mistake.

What happened yesterday, agreeing to continue the plan was a mistake. At first, I wasn't sure why. But my thoughts always drifted toward the dream.

After I got showered and drank my coffee and ate breakfast, it all came to me.

I realized how Jaeden was really leaning into the plan, believing that it could one hundred percent work. I didn't even warn him that maybe, maybe the chance was just fifty, maybe lower than fifty percent. What if he blame me again if all went down?

But Jaeden was drunk. So I hoped he didn't remember it, or I hoped that he regretted what happened and just forget about it.

The thought bothered me throughout my journey toward school.

The morning class was normal. Our homeroom teacher informed us about the upcoming intramurals.

"So think about what sports you want to participate in." Some people groaned, including me. "Of course, it's also the school's foundation day. And if you don't want to participate in sports, maybe we can make something to raise funds?" Another groan. It was actually intramurals and foundation day, but the principal wanted to focus more on sports. So the "foundation" was somehow neglected. "Alright, alright. Whatever." Then we all chuckled. "Just tell me what you want to do so you feel busy."

Relief flooded me. I was sure I wasn't the only person feeling that way. Most of us don't want to work.

"But you still need to focus first on the upcoming exam. The exam is important, don't forget. Okay? Work hard, everybody."

At the Chem lab, Mr. Greene was summing up the coverage for our exam. The remaining four days would be our time to review what we discussed. The atmosphere inside was tense, knowing that Mr. Greene's exam was going to be tough.

My side itched as if there was a finger tickling my left cheek. I wanted to look, but I didn't want to see if Jaeden's gaze was at me. Was he glaring at me? Embarrassed about what happened last night? God, my butt was squirming in my chair.

Then at the cafeteria, while munching his grass like a goat, Lawrence told me that they were going to put on a photo booth.

"Really?"