Flower of Scotland

Freya Part 23

Alvarez had had me running drills for weeks, hauled up at a farm house in the middle of nowhere.
He had brought up a man called Diego, who was always smiling but was as deadly as they came.  I had impressed him with my knife skills and my ability to hit any target even with a gun. I was quick, quiet and precise, something I was told would do me a great service in the game I would be playing.

I was so tired by the time I went to sleep each night that I didn't have time to ponder what was becoming of my life or those I left behind in Charming, and I liked it that way, if at any point they cropped up at the edge of my mind I pushed myself a little harder and threw myself completely in to whatever was at hand.

One evening Alvarez showed up, he had a folder with him and he beckoned me to sit with him at the kitchen table.

"I spoke to Diego this morning." He said with a smile. "He has assured me you are as ready as you will ever be, you have exceeded his expectations."

He opened the folder in front of him and pushed it towards me before continuing.

"I have some contracts here, I thought we could look over them, see what you think?"

I nodded. Unsure how I felt, I knew that all the work I had been doing was leading towards this moment. But I was sad to leave this part behind. The routine had become a solace to me but equally I was ready for something new, to have my own money and the freedom that it would afford me.

I scanned the page as Alvarez pointed out the name of the person that was to be killed and for what reason. I had requested that the reasoning be stated so I knew why they were dying at my hand. If I didn't deem the reason sufficient I wouldn't do it.

There was list of known associates, addresses, movements and habits.
I nodded, I was pleased most of the leg work had been done, I was the last cog in a well oiled machine.
I would travel to Oregon the next evening using the new car that Alvarez was providing. We discussed payment, supplies, weapons and contingencies until Alvarez pulled out separate folder from a draw in the kitchen.
This contained other papers which he put in front of me, he instructed me write a will and also letters to those I would want to receive one if at anytime I wasn't to come home from a job.
This would become a habit of mine over time and I would update these letters often.

He left me to my thoughts as I sat, pen in hand staring down at the blank page.
Where do I start, how do I feel, what do I say?
I put the nib of the pen on the paper and just let it flow.

Alvarez came back about an hour or so later and dropped a bag on the table containing certain things I may need, I sieved through it and took what I wanted carefully storing them in my trusty duffel with my weapons.  He then handed me a stack of notes that would be an advance on my payment, this would also pay for my travel expenses, food, and motel.

I looked up at Alvarez from my bag.

"You ok Conejita?"

I took a deep breath before replying.

"Yeah, I think so."

"Nerves are good, they keep you alert, make you careful, use them to your advantage. Now get some rest."

He left shortly after and I went to take a shower and try to sleep, I didn't have much hope of that happening even though I was tired.

For the first time in a while I lay in the darkness and my thoughts were invaded by the people I'd abandoned. I put it down to having to write those letters, bringing all my locked away feelings to the surface.
I felt an immense guilt at the thought of my Uncle and how he must have felt realising I was gone and I wondered whether he was still angry with me. I thought of Happy, and was sure that my thoughts of him hurt me more than any thoughts he ever had of me. I hoped my disappearance hurt him. I had wanted it to. I also thought of Jax, Tig, Juice and Gemma. Wondering how they were.
It was late before I had eventually dropped off into a dreamless sleep and before I knew it it was time to get up and prepare for my very first contractual kill.
The day flew past in a blur of conversations with both Diego and Alvarez, instructions and recapping. I felt tense and my mouth had felt dry since I had woken this morning.
Soon I was placing my duffel on the passenger seat of the car and saying goodbye.

Pulling out of the farmhouse front and onto the dirt road that led me to the highway towards Oregon.
I turned the radio on and tried to sing along to the songs to distract me from the mountains of thoughts piling up in my head.

The drive took 8hrs and I didn't arrive until three thirty am. I found a small motel and booked a room, taking my bag up the one flight of stairs I sat on the bed once inside and listened to the tick of the clock. I had a few hours before I had to get this show on the road but I felt fidgety and unable to concentrate on anything else.

After a little while I dug through my bag and pulled out the information on my hit. He was a 44 year old man with salt and paper hair. The sneer on his face made me dislike him immediately without even reading the reasoning behind it.