Books and a bad boy

Chapter 19

I made sneaking in my own apartment seem like an advanced calculus class, i banged my knee on the open kitchen draw, "holy shit," i sucked in my breath and fought my hair out my eyes. It didn't help that i was a little tipsy, i licked my lips and groped around in the darkness, i tripped over someone's shoe. I silently cursed Cassie when i felt the heel. The lights went on, and i looked up at the judgmental faces before me, "it is 3:00 in the morning Anna, what the actual fuck?" I laughed nervously and raised my hand with my heels in it, "partay?

No? Tough crowd," Cassie groaned and Kells raised his brows. I sighed and fell on the floor, "you guys are always telling me to get a life," "Not in the middle of the semester!" Cassie screamed, "chill i finished all my homework,"

"oh cause that makes it soo much better right?" She rolled her eyes.

I got up all of a sudden, "look i am 19 years old, i am capable of making my own decisions." I blew my hair out my face and raised my chin, "what is that?" Kells asked, finally speaking, "what?" I tried to look down, "is that a hickey?" His face got red.

"Uh, i guess, i mean i remember making out with some guy but i don't remember him giving me a hickey." I stared at them with a puzzled face. They looked shocked, "YOU MADE OUT WITH A GUY?" I jumped at the raised tone in Kells' voice, Cassie rubbed her face and stalked back to her room, where she slammed the door. "This isn't like you Anna, what's going on?"

"What's going on is that i'm finally enjoying life, going to parties, taking pot, i'm finally getting to experience being a teenager." He shook his head, "i kind of thought you were smart, that you knew you didn't have to gain those experiences to be a teenager, but you're just like everybody else, sucked into this world, i thought i escaped with you."

He turned around, "is it a bad thing to want to enjoy college?"

"To want to fit in, to have excitement in a boring life!" My voice was rising, a feeling of desperation seized me, i had to make him understand, "it sucks always having to be the good girl, for once i want someone to look at me and wish they were me, wish they could do the things i do."

He swung around, "you have to ask yourself Anna, if you want to be remembered as someone who did something great with her life, something great that people will wish they could experience, or do something reckless, have people wish they could be badass like you and then 30 years down the line, forget about it cause it won't do shit for them anyways!"

"Are you asking me if i want to be Donald Trump or Kurt Cobain, cause nobody forgot Kurt!"

"But they forgot everyone else like him." He walked into his room and slammed the door. I sighed and slid down to the floor, tasting what was left of the alcohol i consumed. I chuckled, even when i wasn't myself i was screwing up.