Books and a bad boy

Chapter 21

A/N: I think the last chapter is a bit dramatic, i'll try not to make this one as cringe worthy.

I sipped my tea and stared intently at my laptop screen. I was finishing  the last paragraph of my 600 word essay. I typed slowly and sat back, done, I re-read the essay before saving it and shutting down my laptop. I finished my cup of tea and went to the sink to rinse it. It's been three weeks, I dyed my hair back to normal, I'm off my medication and finding natural, healthy ways to cope and my grades are back on track. Not only that, it was close to Christmas break and finals had me busy. So I had no time to pine over the fact that Kells has been missing, that the morning after my drunken outburst I woke up to find him gone without so much as a note. I unlocked my phone and ran through my emails, I don't know why I prefer checking emails on my phone rather than my laptop. Nothing interesting, a few from the university reminding me about exam precautions.

I sighed and put my phone down. Quite truthfully it did hurt me a bit, but for Christ sake I'm too young to be worrying about blokes. The classic hit holla back girl blared and I dived for my mobile. "Hello?"

"Ana? I'm going bloody mad, who the fuck has time to sit down and grade 600 words from 500 students?!" I smiled at the exasperation in Cassie's voice. "I'm finished, so if you want I can help you, where  are you?" "Where do you think, the bloody library." "Pop over when you're done and we'll have a look." "We're getting pissing drunk after finals." she said and hung up.

Finals came and went with a lot of sleepless nights and uncombed hair, both on mine and Cassie's side. We plopped down on the sofa, "i need to wash my hair for an hour straight," she said, I turned to look at the garbage bag overflowing with Styrofoam coffee cups. "Go, i'll take out the garbage." I dragged the bag with weary bones and threw it in the green garbage can outside. A guy was leaning on the wall engrossed in a smoke. He smiled at me "can finally smoke without some saggy professor down my throat." He offered me one and I shook my head, "i quit, besides if i'm going for anything after finals, it's weed." He laughed and went back to smoking. When I opened the door the shower was running. I clicked on the tv, I haven't watched tv in ages, why do we even have one. I absentmindedly clicked through the channels before settling on a rerun of Friends. Cassie came out when Chandler was attempting to seduce Monica to tell me the shower was free. I hopped in and immediately felt cleaner. "Oh my god, whoever invented hot water is a genius." I finished showering and went to my room. Cassie burst in while I was drying my hair, "we're getting pissing drunk tonight." I laughed, she rummaged through my closet and pulled out a short, black dress my mum had bought for me but I never wore. "Your arse will look great in this Ana." I sighed " I just really want to sleep" "then sleep, we're not going until 8, i'll wake you."

Exhausted, I threw myself on the bed and fell asleep almost immediately. I was awaken by someone roughly shoving me, "it's past eight, I gave you extra time, up, time to party." I groaned but got up. We got ready together and she did my makeup, "really Cassie, isn't this a bit too much?" "Are you kidding me?! You look like a sex god!" I cringed,  before she ushered me out the room. "Dave Is here," "who?" "don't be daft, cute Dave from politics, and he may have brought a friend," she smirked. I groaned, "don't tell me you're trying to set me up." "Well one of us has to get our brains screwed out." I followed her outside to a red jeep parked waiting for us, a tall bloke jumped out who I was guessing was Dave, "hi" he beamed. "Dave" squealed Cassie "of course you know Ana," he turned his beam at me, "of course," this is my friend "Harry," he moved to reveal a cute guy with baby blue eyes and sandy hair. "Pleasure" I said. We got in and drove in silence to the club. We flashed our IDs and passed the bouncer. Once we were inside the guys went to get us drinks, "isn't this fun?" Cassie yelled over the music. I smiled weakly, and took the gin and tonic that Harry offered me. I drowned it and it flooded me with  warmth. "Shots!" Cassie yelled, and they ordered tequila shots. I figured I deserved some alcohol, so I drowned a couple shots. I was dizzy by the time Harry pulled me onto the dance floor. We started dancing and he circled around my waist and pulled me in. He was cute but I wasn't in the mood. "What's wrong?!" he shouted in my ear. "Not really used to this!"

"Want to go get some air?" by now I was starting to feel very drunk so I nodded. He led me through an exit and I breathed in the cold air. "You know," he said, lighting a joint, "i don't usually go for the uptight girls but you're cute and so is your accent." He offered me a pull, and I took it. We passed it back and forth for a couple minutes, I was too drunk and high to care about anything.  So when his hand started sliding up my thighs I let it. Not like he was a gross turn off. He kissed my neck and grabbed my shoulders, before aggressively kissing me on the lips. I started to shove him off then, but he gripped me tighter.  I kneed him in the stomach and he cried out. I made my way blearily back into the club looking for Cassie. I found her in a deep make out session with Dave, wait was that Dave? I sat on a stool and struggled not to fall off. I felt someone grab me and looked up at Harry. "What the fuck!" he  hissed. "Not now, bonehead." He glared at me and stalked off. After a few minutes I saw him in lip battle with a blond, I laughed, good luck to her. I wanted to throw up so I put my head between my legs. I needed air again, I pushed my way past sweaty bodies and out into the cold air once again. Why do we do this to ourselves? I thought, is this what we consider fun? How fucked up are we?

"Ana?" "Bloody hell Kells!" He stared at me warily, "are you high?" I nodded, at least I think I did, he cursed. "Where were you?" "I had business." "You could've called," "I know but I couldn't, i'm sorry." I waved him off and almost fell, he caught me. "Jesus Christ Ana!" I pushed off of him and tried to balance myself. "i'm going back in," "The fuck you are!" I scoffed "i have a date in there and we're busy." "You'll have to make a rain check," he stared at me intensely and his jaw clenched. "Why are you here?" I asked suspiciously. "The owner is my friend, we had business."

"Always business with this one" I giggled, "never date his type ladies!" I bent over and puked. He held my hair back and I wiped my mouth. I stayed there for another minute before straightening up. I walked back inside and heard him call after me. I walked as fast I could back into the sweaty bodies. Cassie was still making out where I left her. I ordered another shot and drowned it, before I looked around me. Suddenly I wanted to cry, I'm not happy, are half these people even happy? Is this how we fulfil ourselves? He caught up with me and grabbed my hand. "One more, I need." "Fuck no." He dragged me out the club after tapping Cassie and whispering in her ear. She nodded and went back to making out. I sulked all the way to his car. "I was having fun you know." " I believe you."

"You can't just disappear for three weeks then come back like everything's ok, and pull me away from having fun, and act like you care when you obviously don't!" I was in hysterics and pounding on him. He grabbed me sobbing and tried to quiet me. "Ssh leaving you was so hard, but I had to go." I tried to pull away but he tightened his grip. "Ana" he cupped my face and forced me to look at him, "if I didn't care I wouldn't be here, I care about you, and I know you're not happy here with people you don't know, drinking and vomiting your ass off." My sobbing quieted and I stared at him. "How do you know?" "Cause I was once here." He put me in the car and we drove to the apartment.

I slowly brushed my teeth and took a shower, I dried my hair and stared at myself in the mirror,  a bit pale, but ok. I slipped on a sweatshirt and walked into the living room. His eyes graciously went over me and he shoved a cup of coffee in my hands, "drink this." I drained it and sat down next to him. He was flicking through channels. "Feeling better?" I nodded "still a bit high from the weed." he chuckled. "Who gave you weed?" "My date." he tensed. I took my chance, "he also tried to kiss me and run his hands up my thighs." His jaw clenched, "you're pissed," I said innocently. I ran my fingers along his jaw and he grabbed my hand and placed it back on my lap. I wasn't giving up. I kissed along his jaw and made my way to his neck. He groaned and tried to push me off. I straddled myself in his lap and continued to kiss everywhere but his lips. His hands tightened on my waist.

"Ana-" I kissed him hard and he kissed back, this is way better than Harry. We made out for a few minutes before he pulled away. "i don't think we should."  He stared at me. I nodded and got up. "Ana" I walked into my room and slammed the door. He's afraid to have sex with me because  he thinks i'll cling. I opened my door and walked pass him. "Where are you going?" "There are loads of people willing to have sex with me." I said triumphantly. He rose and walked towards me until he towered above me, I swallowed nervously. I don't think I like where this Is going.