Books and a bad boy

Chapter 11

So i was on medication, i ran my hands through my hair, and looked at it, i picked up the scissors and stared at it in the mirror. There was a rap on the bathroom door and i opened it. Kells saw the scissors and my hair in my hands. "No, i love your hair." He took the scissors from me and closed the door. I picked at my sweater, because i got nervous. "Do i make you nervous?" I stared at him, then looked down "you must think i'm crazy." 

"We're all alittle batshit crazy."  I smiled and continued staring at the tiles. His converse covered foot came into line with my ballet flats. I stared at our feet, we were so different, he was the sea and i was the sand, still, always calm, boring. He was wild, unpredictable, rough. He titled my chin up and stared into my eyes. "Should we be having this moment in a bathroom?" He laughed and held my hand before pulling me out. We passed Cassie on our way out. "I"m taking her out." She nodded and flipped through the channels. I wrapped my arms around him and he kicked off, we went flying and i squealed, i had never been on a motorbike, "where are we going?" I yelled through the noise. "Anywhere you want!" I thought for a second. "Do you know that park!" "The one with the roses?!" 

"Yeah!" He picked up speed and soon we reached. I took off my helmet and handed it to him. I walked onto the grass and stared at the view in front of me. I took off my flats and felt the grass on my toes. I closed my eyes and twirled. I loved this park. I opened my eyes and he was staring at me, leaned against his bike. I blushed "sorry." He jaw twitched and he walked over to me. He held my hands and pulled me in. No one was around as he swept me up and twirled me around. "Where'd you learn to dance?" "Andrea taught me, i asked her to, just so you know i never did anything this gay before!"

I laughed, you know those cheesy moments, the ones that make you wanna barf, they're different when you're in them. I was in one, he dipped me and i laughed. He ran his finger over my red lipsticked lips and smirked. I stared at him "we're being so cheesy right now." He smiled, "no ones around, besides you love cheese woman!" I laughed and he kissed me, i kissed back and our hands interwtined. For a moment i forgot i was mentally sick, he was just using me, and that i'd have to work extra hard to keep my scholarship. And i lived, if Andrea had given me that essay now,this would be the moment i'd write about. We pulled apart and he ran his hands through my hair. "You're the only girl that got me dancing, in the middle of a park, like a lunatic." 

"I am a lunatic." i smiled, he smiled back and kissed me again. We drove around after that and got hotdogs and watched the day unfold on a park bench. He drove back to my apartment, and was about to drive off. "Can you i don't know stay?" 

"You have classes tomorrow." "It won't affect me." He looked at me with a guilty look on his face. "I kinda made plans tonight Anna." 

My heart fell, i kept my cool "oh" i squeaked. I knew the type of plans he meant. He tried to brush my hair back but i turned around. I went upstairs and Cassie wasn't there. I needed my bestfriend, "i'll be your bestfriend." I frowned at the voice in my head, they always kept me company, while mom was at work, i played teaset with the characters i invented in my head.  I grew up and figured i would sound crazy if i told anyone, so i tried my best to block them out, and it worked until i got lonely and depressed. Boy was i depressed. I should probably take my meds. 

"But why should you? You're not crazy." 

"I'm talking to myself." "Lots of people talk to themselves, you should have some fun." 

"You deserve some fun." I smiled, they were right. I got into my jeep and sped down the street, narrowly missing a car, i screamed in excitement and parked the car. I caught my breath and smirked, i put the car back into drive and drove to Mr Finn's house. I rapped on the door and he answered, he seemed surprised. "Anna, what are you-" I kissed him and pushed him into the house before slamming the door." I kissed him harder. "An-n-a." "What's going on here?" 

I pulled away from him and stared at the pretty woman in front of me. She glared at me and i blushed "Anna, this is my girlfriend Hayley, Anna's a student of mine." 

"You always kiss your students?" He blushed and i chipped in "i'm sorry, you see i wanted to do something crazy, i was feeling esctatic." 

She stared at me and i continued "i have bipolar, it was an effect of that i'm really sorry, i should've taken my meds." And then i burst out crying. She seemed sympathethic and hugged me before tellling me i should probably go home and take my meds. I got into my jeep, the adrenaline gone, all i felt was bitter depression. I drove pass a club and saw Kells coming out with some girls and guys. I should knock him down! Asshole. I drove pass him and caught his eye,he seemed shocked and i stuck a middle finger up. I got home and drank my meds. The voices dissapeared and i felt normal. I slipped into bed and fell asleep. 

Kells

I'm not an asshole, i just wanted to hang with my friends. I wanted to hang with my friends, when the girl i may possibly love needed me. What is wrong with me? 

I should've made sure she was okay first, that she took her fucking meds. That Cassie was home, something, instead i'm here doing the same lame shit, why cause i didn't want my friends thinking i'm going all shitty for this one girl. I am going all shitty for this one girl, and she's a fucking nutcase, a beautiful fucking nutcase. Would it sound gay if i said i didn't prefer any other way. I pounded on her door. She opened up with messy hair and rubbed her eyes. "Kells?" 

"I like that you're fucking crazy, i like that something so beautiful could be as messed up as me! I like that you're a fucking mess, it makes me feel like i deserve you, if you weren't crazy then you'd be too good for me!"