Little Miss Perfect (nini x fem oc) ON HIATUS

Chapter 15- Born This Way

Nini's POV

After that mind opening interaction with Ashlyn I continued to walk home. When I arrived at my house the sun was setting and vibrant colors filled the sky. I wanted to enjoy this moment but I was flooded with memories of Emma and I watching the sunset together. My mind was plagued with jealousy and envy. Why couldn't Emma look at me like that?

I heated up some leftovers from last night's dinner and brought it up to my room along with the now cold muffin Emma had gotten me. I quickly ate it but didn't bother to bring down the plate and fork. I looked out my window to see a dark car drive through my road and the moon shining bright in the darkness. I sighed and my phone started to ring. I pulled it out from my pocket and read the familiar caller ID. "Hey, Kourt." I said when I picked up.

"Hey, just checking to make sure you're okay." she replied

"Why wouldn't I be ok?"

She thought about her answer, "Well, you know. With the break up and all." I knew that she really meant Isabel and Emma but I didn't want to address it.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I acted dumb to the true meaning of her words.

"You sure? You seemed pretty upset."

Once again jealousy flows through my veins as the memories of them together flood my brain. "Uh, yeah. It happened. Who knows what'll happen next. Life goes on. Plus, I just blocked EJ's number, so... problem solved." I hoped mentioning the last part would truly make the conversation about the breakup.

Kourtney however wasn't buying it. "You know it's ok to be upset, right?"

"Yeah, I know." I hated how my voice sounded weak.

"Nini, it's ok to be sad." I hated how we couldn't be upfront about who we were really talking about.

I gave Kourtney a small and fake smile so she might actually think I wasn't upset. "Yeah," I chuckle. "Ok, thanks Kourt."

Kourtney didn't seem convinced that I was ok but she also noticed that I was distracted. "Call me, ok? You can tell me anything."

The last sentence was reassuring yet worrying. I was nervous to tell people that I had just recently realized I was bisexual but hearing Kourtney say that made me feel a little better. "I know, Kourtney. You're the best." Kourtney starts blowing kisses at the camera. "Mwah! Bye-bye!" I fake cheer before hanging up. I sigh and flop back onto my bed. I looked to my right and saw my piano. An idea suddenly popped into my head that caused me to sit right up and start to make a song.

I thought about EJ while making the lyrics and how he would always praise me when I needed it most. I thought how EJ was a true gentleman and how tons of girls fawned over him and thought he was perfect. I started to tear up when I wrote how it was a lie. I then started to think about Ricky. He was a boy from my past. I was majorly in love with him but I have since gotten over it since he didn't seem to return my feelings.

I thought about Emma. How I had only just met her yet we felt so connected. I wrote about how much my feelings have grown for her. My mind wandered to how no matter how in love I was with Ricky but my feelings for her were tripled. I felt more for her than anyone else. I then felt my heart break a little when I remembered the cafe and how happy she looked talking to Isabel. I had only just realized my feeling for the tall blonde but it felt I had to get over them.

"And I say I'll get through but this song's still for you." and, "Is all I want a good guy?" I wrote, my mind flooded with thoughts of Emma.

I then wrote about my hopes in finding a relationship where my love is returned and it felt perfect and happy. I felt a sudden wave where I felt like I was asking for too much, like it was impossible to love me as much as I love those around me. My heart told me it wasn't true but my brain drowned it out with self-destroying thoughts. I told myself that no matter what I did, if I were to fall in love again it wouldn't be returned. I told myself I was unlovable and didn't deserve what I have. There was a reason Ricky couldn't say it back. Was there something wrong with me that made it so he couldn't repeat those three words I had said that day.