The Butterfly Weeds [Taylor Swift Adoption Story]

PETUNIA

Petunias don't have the best symbolism let's say. Petunias can symbolize anger and deep resentment, especially given to someone you've recently disagreed with. Despite their striking beauty, they can be associated with a nasty person. But according to some, they can be a symbol of not losing hope.

Continued *End of Flashback*
February 13th; 2024
Taylor Swift's Point of View
The pure disbelief that sent a shock to my system. It felt like someone was tracing my spine, causing it to shiver with not fear, but indignation. All I knew is the words were taken from me. I felt as if I was aspirating in my thoughts. The words I tried to speak fell into my lungs and were choking me. It was still and the tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife. I looked as Joe held his ground firmly, with no care or regrets about what he said. I have nothing to deliver except a stare.

"What is it? Cat got your tongue?" Joe snaps.

"Can you please catch me up?" Melinda asks softly.

"Five years ago she got pregnant and got an abortion without even telling me. Then I had to take care of her when she was bleeding out all day from it." He says looking at her.

"That's not what happened," I mumble, shaking my head.

"Then tell me! What did happen!" He yells.

"I was on tour and I accidentally got pregnant. I wasn't ready for a child. You kept pushing me and pushing me to keep the baby but I didn't want to! I had to go behind your back!"

"Taylor, I supported you!-"

I cut him off immediately. "No, you didn't!"

"I knew my wants and I'm allowed to have an opinion."

"I just-I wasn't ready. I was scared out of my mind! My god, why the fuck are you bringing this up almost six years later!? You promised to never mention that ever again. You said we would move on. That we would just move past it. You can't just bring that back up again."

"Maybe I wasn't over it! Maybe I never really got over it. Maybe I never really fully trusted you after what you did to me."

"What I did? It had nothing to do with you! Do you think it was an easy choice for me? Do you think I wanted to be in that kind of position?"

"Do you remember what happened after?"

"Of course, I remember Joe. How do you forget that type of thing? I was in pain for days! The infection was so bad I felt like I couldn't breathe. How do you forget the thing that made it so you lost everything?" After I had taken the medication the tissue was supposed to expel itself but not all of it did and I got a severe infection. Surgery had to be performed and left uterine scarring. They tried to treat the adhesions but nothing worked. The scarring was so severe that I was given the title infertile. Getting that abortion caused two things. Joe and I's first ever real fight and the worst of all, it caused my infertility.

"Did you ever regret it?" He asks.

"What?"

"We tried for two years to get pregnant! We did IVF, fertility drugs, did all kinds of diets, and met with so many doctors. Took so many goddamn tests. Taylor, we had it! So let me ask again. Did you regret it?"

That's when I paused and just looked at the floor for a moment. Tears started to run down my face. "Yes," I mumble.

"What? Was that a yes?"

"YES! Okay! Are you happy?! I resented myself! After I found out I was infertile it was the first thing I thought about! Every negative test I held in my hand, I looked at myself in the mirror and hated what I saw. I regretted it, I mourned, and I punished myself every day. The voices in my head that screamed, the horrible things they said to me. I REGRETTED IT! Is that what you wanted to hear?! So what is it, Joe? What pisses you off so much? That I got an abortion without asking or you didn't get your dream of being a father?"