The Butterfly Weeds [Taylor Swift Adoption Story]

WILLOW

This time we're changing it up with a tree called the willow. Willow trees are flexible, the branches can be contorted in ridiculous ways without any signs of snapping. Its ability to grow and survive is powerfully symbolic and shows how we can thrive even in challenging conditions. Spiritually, the Willow tree means knowledge, optimism, adaptability, and spiritual growth. The flexible yet resilient tree encourages us throughout life showing us the way to adjust to life's pressures without 'snapping'.

Three Weeks Later
June 17th; 2024
Taylor Swift's Point of View
I haven't seen my own children. It's been weeks and I still haven't been cleared to see them. I see pictures and FaceTime while Joe is with the two of them. They both beat the infection but it doesn't change the fact they were born premature. We haven't named them yet. Joe and I decided we won't name them until I see them. We've been calling them baby girl A and B. Swift-Alwyn will be their last name. By the way, I still look fat and pregnant which is pissing me off. My stomach isn't as big as it used to be but it's taking its sweet time going away. I've been trying my best to cope with everything but it's hard to do that when laying in a bed doing nothing but staring at photos and an postpartum belly. The hysterectomy has also been a lot harder on me than I thought it would. I mean, my uterus was already pretty damn useless but the fact that it's 100% gone now...before there was at least a chance. Even if the chances were 1 in a million, there was something. At least I don't get my period anymore.
Ivy is coming today so I get to see one of my daughters. She got a very interesting phone call when I had the babies last month. It went a lot like where the fuck are you guys and why is there blood on the floor? In the most panicked voice to ever exist.

The door opens slowly and I see Ivy looking in. "Mom!" Ivy runs up to me and gives me a tight hug which hurts significantly but I push the pain aside.

"I missed you, sweetie." It's only been a couple of days since I saw her last but we've never had to go so long without seeing one another.

"We brought a surprise for you!" She lets go of me and I hear more footsteps. Joe walks in holding August which instantly makes me smile.

"Oh my god bring him here!" I reach out my arms and Joe places him next to me in bed.

"Grandmama!" August collapses next to me which makes me giggle. He doesn't quite know how to say grandma but knows grandmama which I find adorable.

"I got to see my sisters as well. Both very cute."

"Ivy, what did we say about lying?" As much as it pains me to say it the girls look more like featherless chickens.

"I just feel very obligated to! Everyone says it!"

I laugh at her while August grabs onto my arm. "How are the girls doing?"

"Well, your teenage daughter right next to you is healthy and fine. Thanks for asking."

I roll my eyes and look over at Joe. He walks over to me and gets out his phone. "Here is baby A. She's 3.03 pounds and her kidneys are functioning properly now so she doesn't need those weird fluids they were giving her." He shows me a picture of her and I smile softly.

"Look at her go. She's getting so much bigger already."

He then slides a couple of pictures down to the next girl. "And here is baby B." Joe gives me no update.

"She looks like she's getting bigger too. Is she?" I ask with hopeful eyes.

"Uh, she's lost 3 grams. They're putting her on an extra supplement."

I sigh and give Joe back his phone. "But Baby A is doing better?"

"Yeah. Her odds are increasing." Joe gives a very forced smile as he puts his phone back in his pocket. The room has become very quiet and tense after that.

"Well, uh, I have some exciting news." Ivy interrupts the awkward silence.

"Oh, yeah! Show her the video!" Joe points to Ivy clearly trying to change the depressing subject.

Ivy takes out her phone and pulls out a video from her camera roll. It contains her, Joe, and August. Both Joe and Ivy are sitting on the floor while Ivy is holding August's favorite stuffed animal bear. Joe is a few feet away holding August as he stands up.

"Okay, are you ready? You gotta do it for grandma and your...aunts? That's a weird relationship. Okay, trial number lucky 13, August's first steps." Ivy says looking at August.

"Okay, you ready?" Joe asks her.

"I'm ready. Now, come here, you can do it August!"

Joe lets go of August carefully and Ivy basically begs for August to walk towards her. I watch with the brightest eyes as August takes a couple of slow steps that are wobbly and unstable.
I gasp and cover my mouth watching as my grandbaby takes his very first steps. The video finishes off with August making his way to Ivy and her picking him up and spinning him around, proud as can be.

You'd think out of all reactions mine would result in something that made sense. That I'd smile or start to cheer. I don't know, anything besides what I did. Instead, I turned off the phone and gave it back to Ivy. I started to cry but they weren't happy tears. Something inside me broke and it all became crashing down. It was frustrating, agonizing, and couldn't keep it contained.

"Mom, are you okay?" Ivy tries to grab my hand but I pull it back.

"Just back off," I tell her.

"Mom, you're clearly upset. You know you can talk to me." She tries to get answers from me since my emotions aren't making sense to her.

"I don't want to Ivy! Your life is looking all perfect and you and your healthy baby and living your best life! You aren't trapped in a hospital room, unable to see your kid!" The words hiss from my mouth and snap down with poison.

"Go. I'll talk to you in a minute." Joe looks over at Ivy who still hasn't given a response. All she did was take August and leave with tears streaming down her face like a river.

"Don't give me the lecture."

"No, I'm giving you a fucking lecture. Taylor, you can yell at me all you want. Take all your shit out on me. I don't care. Do whatever you need to but leave our daughter out of this! She didn't do shit!"

"The two of you-"

"I don't care! What you did was wrong. I can't even imagine how hard it is being in this room like this but you can't just get mad at the people who care about you."

"I am dying in here! I'm losing my mind and it's killing me."

"Yell at me. Do whatever it is you have to do. Okay?"

"You know what pisses me off the most Joe? You did this to me. That constant stress and fighting and pain you put on me. This is all you." I snap.

"You think I don't blame myself every single day? I wake up and think I should have treated you better. I shouldn't have been so stupid. I look at the girls, I look at you, a look at me, and I think how this is all my fault." Joe begins to tear up as he admits everything he's been feeling.

"I think it's time you took some accountability for once in your life. Every time you look at them, think about what you did."

"I already do that. I don't need to hear it from you. I already look at them and feel like the world's worst person. So yeah, if guilt and shame is accountability to you, I've got a pretty good jump on that." Joe walks out of the room and leaves me alone once again.

"God dammit," I mutter to myself as I begin my emotional breakdown. I slam my arms against the sheets of the bed and sob. I feel so useless now. I can't do anything and I can't help my own family. I just need to fix it and I can't.

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Author's Note:
I'm sorry for the really short chapter ahhhhhh. Anyways, my updates are going to be a little erratic if you could be respectful of that.

An incident occurred and I had to go to the hospital and the police and SVU got involved. I didn't know the SVU was a real thing tbh

annnnyyywaaayyysss Taylor is not in the best mood.