The Butterfly Weeds [Taylor Swift Adoption Story]

RAFFLESIA

It's sometimes under debate whether or not the rafflesia is actually a flower but as of now, it's observed as a parasitic flowering plant. The plant is very bizarre and extremely rare. There's no root, no stem, and no leaves, therefore it is incapable of photosynthesis. Sadly, the rafflesia is on its way to extinction due to tourism and the destruction of habitat. When looking for the meaning of this freakish plant, some I found were artifice, temptation, and trickery. But, I found one meaning that consistently would stick out. Death. This flower symbolizes death due to its smell of rotting flesh, and strange nature. I think it's a good idea we all avoid the rafflesia.

Five Stages of Grief
Stage one: Denial

One Week Later
August 13th; 2024
Taylor Swift's Point of View
I once again sit next to Holly. 2.37 pounds. She lost weight. Then there is her sister who is close to six pounds and is most likely going to be discharged from the hospital this week. The doctors walk in and I don't know how to read their faces this time.

"Good news and bad news," Addison tells us.

"Let me guess. Good news is for Willow, bad is for Holly?"

"Well...yeah. Willow can be discharged this Thursday as long as she passes the car seat test. All she has to do is sit in the car seat for two hours and have nothing go wrong."

"That's great!" Joe is excited. I guess I am too but it's so hard to be when you are watching your other kid die in front of you.

"Holly, on the other hand, we need to open her up. It's her bowel again."

"Okay. Do it." I tell them without thinking twice.

"Taylor, we've already removed part of her bowel. There's a very good chance she won't survive another surgery.

"You've said that before. Many times. We'll do it. Do the surgery. We've decided to do whatever it takes." I go back looking over Holly, spending as much time as I need. Addison ignores my words and pulls up a chair and sits down next to me.

"Holly is having something called EOL symptoms. Do you know what that is?" Addison asks. Joe walks over so he can hear her too.

"No." I shake my head.

"EOL stands for end-of-life. Your daughter is showing symptoms that she's dying. She has dyspnea, she's agitated, has increased motor activity, and is restless. She's not sleeping like she used to. She's dying."

"No. I'm doing the surgery."

"The odds she survives are going down every single day. She's already showing symptoms of dying. I believe it is in your best interest to allow natural death. It'll allow you to say goodbye to her." She attempts to put her hand on mine but I quickly pull my hand away.

"I want to do the surgery. I want to help my daughter. I'm not going to kill her." I mutter.

"Taylor...she's in pain. Has anyone told you that? Holly is suffering and the only thing keeping her alive are those machines."

"She's in pain?" A couple of tears run down my face as I look down at her.

"It's still your decision. Do you want to do A.N.D?"

I think for a moment and twiddle my thumbs. "No. I'm not ready yet."

"Okay."

•                •               •

Both Joe and I waited in the NICU, cuddling with Willow. I haven't spent much time with her as I've been trying my best to help her sister. Now that she's grown she's started to develop her own traits. We notice small things about her but the biggest thing is her eyes. She has the most beautiful blue eyes. I love Willow so much, she's my everything as well. She has no breathing tubes, no crazy wires and IVs. She recovered like a champ.