Finding Our Way Back (Tinn and Gun)

Are you happier?

GUN'S POV

Tinn and I made eye contact while I was singing. I couldn't keep my eyes off him, the eye contact was so intense. It felt like it was just the two of us in the room, it was like everyone else was invisible. As the song was nearing the end I saw a woman walk up to him. She held his arm he turned around to her breaking the eye contact and kissed her on the cheek. At that moment my chest physically hurt, it felt like someone had just kicked me in my stomach. I took a deep breath, people were cheering. I took another deep breath, trying to compose myself. I saw Por coming up to Tiw and he gave me the biggest smile and gave me a thumbs up. I smiled at him. "So I am going to sing another song for you guys, please sing along if you can na" I said giving my biggest smile.

"...I should have done it all
All for you, baby
But now I'm just a little too late
To be what you needed
But I hope that she is
You took me around but we got nowhere
'Cause you were naïve while I was too scared
So when we lit a fire, you run towards the flames
And I start around and I watched you burn
Then arose up to claim you and left you in the dirt
Kept my hands to myself like I kept my word
Fool you once, never twice, I guess you've learned
And I don't know why I'm praying tonight
But if you can hear me
Tell me if you hear me
And I should have called
And I should have tried..."

While I was singing my eyes kept glancing at him, and I noticed that he was looking at me. I noticed her, she wrapped her arms around Tinn's arm. She looked beautiful, she looked kind and she probably gives Tinn butterflies. "I hope you are happy Tinn, happier than you were with me." I took a deep breath again after the song ended. The crowd cheered, "Thank you." I said before going off stage. Por clapped with the biggest smile on his face, then he waved signaling that I must join them. I took a glass of champagne from the waitress that passed by me before joining them.
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"That was incredible Gun, that's it you are singing at my wedding." Por said as he hugged me. "Aww Por you are saying this as if we didn't sing together at high school, but thank you." I replied with a smile trying to avoid eye contact. "That's not the same friend." Por said. "Yeah now you are an award winning, Grammy nominated artist." Tiw said wrapping his arm around Por's waist. I turned my attention towards Tinn and his girlfriend, my eyes darting back and forth between them. "Sawedee krub" I said. "Hello Gun... uhm this is Meen, my girlfriend." He said looking at me then he turned towards Meen and said "Meen, this is Gun.. uhm my high school friend."
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She smiled and said "Of course I know who Gun is, everyone knows him. I just can't believe you are friends with Gun. Why didn't you tell me." She jokingly hit him on the shoulder and proceeded to say "if I was friends with a such an award winning superstar, I would tell everyone with ears to listen." I smiled and said "I am flattered." Tiw and Por chuckled awkwardly. "So Gun are you going to sing at our wedding as my honey requested?" Tiw asked as he gave Por a sniff kiss. Ugh these two were really sweet. "Since you guys are my closest friends, I will give you a special discount." I said joking. We laughed and Por hit me slightly on the shoulder and said, "Oho you are going to charge your bestfriend. Do it as your wedding gift for me na" I laughed and said "It would be an honour for me to sing at your wedding" as I gave him a side hug. I looked over at Tinn and his girlfriend. I couldn't bear the sight and I excused myself making an excuse that my manager needed me for something.
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I got to my car and let out a deep breath, it's like I was holding my breath all along. My hands stared to tremble and I felt the warmth of tears as they rolled down my cheeks. I cannot believe how much this was affecting me, I thought I could do this but I can't. I can't see Tinn being in love with someone else, him being happy with someone else. Was he happier without me? I mean it makes sense, Tinn and I were polar opposites. He was like the sun and I was the moon. She seems good for him and they probably have more in common than we do. My eyes started to burn from all the tears streaming down my face. I took a deep breath in and out while I whipped off my tears. "Get it together Gun." I said to myself before driving off to the apartment I was staying in.
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I walked into my apartment, took off my shoes and took out a glass and a bottle of wine out of the kitchen cabinet. I sat on the couch and turned on the TV. I might as well watch survivor, just to watch someone else suffer. I scoffed as I drank my 3rd glass of wine. "Look at them betray each other." I said pointing at the TV screen. I stood up and walked over the kitchen, I was feeling light headed, probably the effects of the alcohol and not eating anything all day. I took out a carton of strawberries and whipped cream and proceeded to wobble my way back to the couch. I shouldn't starve myself because of you Tinn. I drank another glass of wine. Maybe I am the problem? Why can't I just be happy for him, he is happier. Maybe I should get some sleep. I looked at my phone and before I knew it I had dialled his numbers and called him.

Tinn: Hello

He said in a low hoarse voice, it sounds like he just woke up. I glanced at the clock at the wall and noticed it's 2 am. Of course he was sleeping.

Gun: Tinn
Tinn: Gun? Are you okay why are you calling so late?
Gun: I am sorry...

It became silent. I didn't know what to say after I said sorry.

Tinn: Gun? What's wrong? Why are you apologizing
Gun: I am sorry I can't be happy for you.
Tinn: Gun..
Gun: You look happier... *I sniffled as tears ran down my eyes* I know nobody hurt you like I hurt you, but I know I was happier with you.
Tinn: Gun...
Gun: Tinn please listen... I saw how you smiled at her. Your smile was twice as wide as when you smiled at me. I tried to smile and I hide the truth, but being back here in Thailand everything is reminding me of you.
Tinn:...
Gun: Tinn... I knew that one day you will fall in love with someone else, and someone would fall in love with you.
Tinn: Gun what are you saying?
Gun: I am saying that if she breaks your heart like lovers do, I will be here. I will be here waiting for you.

I hanged up the phone and drank 2 glasses of wine one after the other. My vision was blurry because of all the tears. My chest physically hurt and it felt like I couldn't breath. I cried out loud for a few minutes and then sobbed quietly and laid my head on the couch armrest. I positioned myself in a fetus position with my hands on my chest as I cried myself to sleep.
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Thank you for reading this chapter. This chapter was inspired by the songs 1. All for you- Cian Ducrot and 2. Happier - Ed Sheeran. Your feedback would be greatly appreciated. I will update as soon as I can. Rak na jub jub🌞🌻