Finding Our Way Back (Tinn and Gun)

An angel named Namtam

Months seem to have flew by because it has been 6 months since Tiw and Por announced their pregnancy. They were even more excited when they found out that Rose was expecting twins, a girl and a boy. Tinn didn't know who was more excited the expecting parents or Gun who had turned one of their guest rooms into a nursery for their god-children.

"Don't you think we have enough stuff by now love?" Tinn asked as Gun put another pair of onesies in their trolley. "You can never have enough stuff love. Besides it's the two of them now." Gun answered as he he took another pair of pair of blue and pink onesies. "How cute are these?" He asked holding them up in Tinn's face. "Mmmh very cute. You and Por went on a shopping spree just the other day." Tinn said.

"That was to buy Rose maternity clothing." Gun argued. "I didn't know Rose wore newborn clothing." Tinn said narrowing his eyes at Gun. "Ah ah fine maybe we might have bought some clothes for Norawit and Namtam." Gun replied grinning. "Norawit and Namtam?" Tinn asked a little bit surprised. Gun quickly covered his mouth as if he said something he wasn't supposed to.

"Gun?" Tinn question his lover who was acting suspicious. "It's the twins names, they were going to tell us when we went on our weekend trip." Gun replied feeling guilty. "Of course you already knew because of Por." Tinn replied feeling a little jealous. "Yeah you know he cannot keep anything from me." Gun replied. "Mmmh I understand." Tinn replied pouting a bit.

Tiw had convinced them to go on a weekend getaway hoping it will help relax Por who was panicking and restless about the twins arrival in a few weeks. Tiw saw his love filled with anxiety buying things in excess, it's called nesting he had read it in a book Tinn got him in preparation for parenthood. One thing that Tiw was happy about was that Gun was done with filming and promoting the series so he was there for Por.

He was also happy that Tinn was there for him, since they succesfully opened their private clinic they were spending a lot more time together. Of course Tinn still worked part-time at the hospital since he was one of the best Cardiothoracic surgeons in the country so his expertise was frequently required.  He knew the next few months were going to be tough but he had the support of his loved ones so they will make it.

"Love are you sure we should be going to this trip? What if Rose needs us?" Por asked panic stricken. "Relax love Rose due date is in 5 weeks. Plus she has your mother, my mother and your aunt looking after her this weekend." Tiw responded trying to reassure his love. "You are right, plus Phuket is only 2 hours away." Por said trying to sound calm. "Yes and we are only a call away okay. I will make sure they can reach us if anything happens." Tiw answered wrapping his arms around Por and giving him a tight hug followed by a kiss on the forehead.

Tiw, Por, Gun and Tinn drove together in Tinn's new Mercedes-Benz Maybach GLS that Gun convinced him to buy because it had more space for the twins. They reached their destination around midday, and Por spent almost an hour on the phone with Rose before she could convince him that she was fine. They spent the rest of the day lounging around, they decided to go out for dinner by the beach. A nice seafood buffet with wine should do them good.

While they were sharing a bottle of verreaux pinotage Por received a call from his mother. As soon as he answered the phone he could hear his mother's panic stricken voice. "No no it can't be she's 5 weeks too early, she can't be going to labour now." Por said his voice cracking. Tiw quickly stood up followed by Gun while Tinn went to settle the bill before following them.

They rushed to their hotel before driving 2 hours back to Pattaya where Rose was already taken to the hospital. They reached the hospital and found Rose's husband and their mothers waiting outside the waiting room. "Mama what happened?" Por said as he hugged his mother with tears streaming down his face. "Where's Rose? How is she? The twins?" Tiw asked as he hugged his mother.

"She is in surgery now, they had to do an emergency C-section because she had placental abruption when she fell." Tiw's mother answered her son with tears of her own falling down her face. Tiw who had tears brimming in his eyes was confused and asked "Fell? How? Placental what? What does it mean mom?"

Tinn held Tiw's shoulder and said "Hey calm down she will be fine, they had to do the surgery okay. Placental abruption is when the placenta detaches from the uterus, so if it happens the babies might not get enough oxygen and nutrients. So their best chance of survival is through this surgery okay." Although his friend tried to simplify everything to him Tiw was even more confused, what was Tinn saying. Best chance of survival? Where his babies dying. The thought gave him a pang in his chest. There was a lump on his throat, he became light headed and his vision blurred as tears fell down his face.

"Survival? Are my babies dying? Oh my goodness are they going to be okay? Please let them be okay. Rose!! Oh my goodness is she going to be okay?" Por asked as he cried hysterically. Gun wrapped his arms around a distraught Por. He was hurting just as much as his bestfriend, he felt his pain, his anxiety after all was like another part of him. When Por was hurting he was too, all he knew was he needed to be strong for his soulmate, his bestfriend as he cooed him to a calm state.

It felt like hours when the doors finally opened and the obstetrician came out. "Doctor how did the surgery go?" Tinn asked. "My babies how are they? Where are they?" A frantic Por asked. "Calm down love." Gun said to his bestfriend as he held him in his arms again. The obstetrician kept quiet for a bit causing Tiw to panic "Doctor? What's going?" He asked with tears threatening to fall down his face again.

"Miss Rose is fine. There was a complication during the surgery.  One of the twins was not breathing as his lung collapsed so we had to intubate her, she is in Neonatal ICU. The other twin is on oxygen because his lungs are still underdeveloped but his vitals are stable. They are both in Neonatal ICU." The obstetrician informed them.

Hearing this Por felt like all his senses stopped functioning. He couldn't see anything anymore "Tiw! My babies. Our little girl. Tiw!!" He cried as he fell on the ground wailing. He couldn't catch his breathe as his wails grew louder. Tiw quickly grabbed him and encaged him in an embrace.

Tiw and Por refused to leave the hospital and Gun and Tinn stayed with them. Tinn did go get them clothes to change and buy them food. The hospital provided them with a room where they can rest but Por didn't get any sleep and likewise neither did Gun. Gun stayed by Por's side all times, keeping him in his arms and lulling him when he wept.

After a few hours the pediatrician informed them that they need to say goodbye to their little girl because after several tests they discovered that there wasn't any brain activity. The cries of intense pain and cries shared by Tiw and Por was unbearable. They held each other and wept.

You could hear their wailing by the corridors of the VIP room they were in. Their shared grief of losing their little girl, their little girl they never got to hold  in their arms. They were never gonna see her smile, laugh or run around. They were never going to be able to send her to school, see her graduate, go on dates. Her life ended before it begun.

When they both walked in the NICU and they saw their little girl wrapped up in tubes. "She's so small." Tiw said as he held a sobbing Por in his arms. "Can we hold her?" Por asked through his sobs and the Neonatal nurse took little Namtam out of the incubator and gently handed her to Por. "She's so small." Por whispered. "Namtam. My baby girl." Tiw whispered as he caressed his baby girl's head. "I love you... we love you so.. so much baby." Por said sobbing. "Goodbye baby." Tiw said his baby girl bawling.
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Thank you for reading this chapter. Feedback is always appreciated. This chapter was a bit difficult to write 😭😭 but I needed to. I will update as soon as I can. Rak na jub jub 🌻🌞