(discontinued) alluring pain.

chapter 17.5: baji and m/n's conversation.

This is the conversation of what M/N and Baji had on the hill that night before M/N had those 'memories'

M/N's POV:

Me and Baji were laughing and talking while we were eating. We were just having such a good time, but Baji's mood just suddenly changed.

"can I.. vent for a bit..?" Baji said looking up at the moon.

"yea sure."

"I don't regret many things in life.. but I do have one.. I regret not remembering his name." He said.

"oh..?"

"yea.. you know. You kinda resemble him n/n.. a lot. But.. I just don't wanna jump to conclusions and think you are him. I just wish I saw him one last time to be honest. I was one of the last people to actually remembered his name before he suddenly just.. disappeared."

I was carefully listening on what he was saying, I low key felt bad for him. I mean, I would be upset too if I forgot the name of someone that important to me.

Baji then continued to speak, "He saw Shinichiro die... then he just.. disappeared without saying anything. Everyone except for me, wakasa, and benkei forgot his name and what he looked like. The moment I forgot his name.. I lost it. I can never forgive myself for forgetting his name. I do remember what he looks like.. he looks similar you, just shorter."

"oh..." I said not knowing what to do in this situation.

"I trust and respect you more than anything.. m/n. Not only you resemble my 'one and only'." (lmao sugusato ref). "Its also because... I can't explain it though." Baji looked at me, "I loved him, more than myself platonically. It hurts me everyday how every time I see you, I see him. It hurts how Mikey and the others have no memory of him, I only remember how he looks and acts. Just not his name."

I stayed silent, listening.

"you know n/n.. he did love Mikey. I always tried to help him get to Mikey.. but he didn't see him. I still helped him. But at one point, I did feel Mikey taking my best friend away. I did grow out of that." I saw tears form in his eyes slowly. "I just don't understand how and why he disappeared after Shinichiros death and faded out of everyone's memories in a way."

"if anything.. please l/n... stay by my side this whole time. Even if I die.. please.." Baji grabbed both of my shoulders. I was confused.. did he know he was gonna die or something..?

"baji. I'll stay by your side if you stay by mine. Just.. don't die on me aight?" I said also placing my hands on his shoulders.

We both smiled at each other after promising those. He then started to speak. "well n/n... Im only joining Valhalla to spy on Kisaki. I would never just betray Toman like that." Baji took his hands off my shoulders, I did the same.

"I know. It's kinda obvious." I looked up at the moon.

"HAH?! I THOUGHT MY ACTING WAS GOOD?!" He yelled in confusion.

"It was good, I just saw right through it. Everyone else believed it. But baji.. why do you trust me so much.. you could of trusted someone else.?" I looked at him in the eyes.

"I..." He started, "that's for me to know and for you to find out!" He grinned.

"tHat'S fOr Me To KnOw AnD FoR yOu To FiNd OuT. Man shut ya bitch ass up." I said mocking him and hitting the back of his head. We just bursted into laughter.

Baji had a feeling that M/N could of been the boy he's been trying to find these past 2-3 years. But the moment he met the h/c haired male, he didn't just wanna just jumpt to conclusions that M/N was 'him'. Crazy right? I know.

To be continued... in chapter 18