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Give me a chance to do better

ILHOONS POV

After we talked we agreed that we should take it a bit easy so i slept on the floor, Jimin in the bed and Rin on the sofa and in the morning i drove Jimin home on my own way home.

I didn't know what happened to me yesterday i guess i just got a little to much to drink.

The thing is i originally went to the bar to get drunk and forget about Rin. I have been busy with work lately and haven't had the time to be with her, even though i didn't want to admit it i missed her really much. I'm not the type of guy to fall in love and especially not with a girl like Rin, she was just to good.

I hated the thought of me being in love and that's why i wanted to drown my feeling in alcohol, just like i used to do.

I used to be really depressed and the only thing that kept me alive back then was the pills, alcohol, parties and a lot of random one night stands.

And when i first saw Rin the only thing i wanted was to have sex with her but then i started realising she was so much more and i wanted to get to know her, i wanted her to be safe, i wanted to hug her and hold her hand, i wanted to be her boyfriend.

That is so unlike me.

Now after i met her i stopped taking pills and i didn't really go clubbing anymore and i haven't even had one, one night stand.

But right now i felt like shit, i felt so bad from what happened yesterday and i felt like we broke up.

So i decited that i would take a pill to make the pain a bit more bearable.

It was such a relief so i wanted to meet up with Rin and apologies, a thing i didn't get to do yesterday.

I texted her that i was coming over before i got out of the door and went to her house.

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When i finally after convincing Rin that we need to talked she let me in and we sat on her sofa as always.

"So what do you want?" She asked annoyed

"I'm here to say i'm sorry" i said. She looked at me in disbelief and i knew she didn't accept my apologi.

"Look, i have a lot of feelings for you..." I told her regretting it right after, but there was no turning back now "i'm not the type of guy who fall for girls, but i fell for you" i took a deep breath "i wen't to the bar in a attempt to drown my feelings for you.. but when i saw you with Jimin i got super jealous" I spilled out my heart and was now hoping for the best.

"Il, i have feelings for you to, but i can't accept your feelings if you keep acting like this" she looked me in the eyes "you have to accept me hanging out with guys like Jimin with out beating him up afterward"

"I've do my best just please don't be mad at me" I pleaded her. -This is really unlike me...

"sure, but you have to prove you can behave nicely" i quickly agreed and god what i wouldn't do for that girl, that gorgeous girl.

I just want her to be mine and only mine.

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I know it isn't something you should do, actually it's the worst decision i ever made... I decided i wanted to change for her. Not be bad and immature i wanted to be an adult and a good boy... or at least just try.

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So that was just a small chapter and i hope it's alright... ^^

See ya guys as soon as possible! <3