Mine // Rafe Cameron

45

I was walking along the beach with JJ. Pope and Kiara went home, I told her I'd come later. „I'm sorry." I mumbled while me and J walked trough the water which went up to your ankles.

We carried our shoes in our hands „For what?" he asked me, confusion clearly hearable in his voice. „About the thing with Rafe and Kelce." I told him and he shook his head.

„That wasn't your fault Lil." He said and I could feel his eyes burn into my skin. But I didn't looked at him, I felt guilty, more than I've ever felt before.

All of this is my fault. „It is, you always told me Rafe was no good, I should've just listened to you." I murmured under my breath.

A grip on my wrist made me stop and I turned around, meeting JJs gaze. „you were in love Lil, it's alright." He assured me. I felt tears starting to swell up in my eyes as I thought of how many times rafe hurt them and me.

„But he hurt you so often." I whispered, lightly brushing my hand over his bruised cheek. „And the others too." I mumbled and he just smiled down at me.

„I'm still living, aren't I?" he asked me and now I kinda smiled at him. „And the others are too." He told me, grabbing my hand in his.

JJ cares for me and my feelings and I appreciate that so much. „So It's fine." He told me, nodding his head one time. I was wondering if he's still got feelings for me.

I mean, It could be but I didn't know If I wanted to know. „But you still love him, don't you?" He asked me and I looked up at him, tears in my eyes just because my mind went off to Rafe for a split second.

He carried a smile on his lips, just a slight one but it wasn't a happy smile, it was a sad smile. I don't know if I should tell him the truth, I still Love Rafe with every part of me.

„I don't know." I mumbled under my breathe as I fixed my gaze down on the ground again. He's scared me in the last days but I still do, that's the problem, I will forever love him.

Maybe I need someone to distract me from Rafe, like a boyfriend. But I don't even think that I want anyone other than Rafe. „You'll find out." He nod at me and I looked up at him.

„Sometimes I wish you'd be the one for me." I whispered and his eyes lightly widened, so did mine but I didn't show it. I shocked myself with my choice of words.

But It kinda was true. „Lil don't do that." He mumbled, shaking his head lightly. I guess he's lost feelings. I mean, JJ would never hurt me, not in the way Rafe did.

Rafe hurt me like no one ever could, but I can't deny the truth, Rafe will always be the one for me and I'd kill to change that. I'd kill to stop loving him but I can't.

„I know, I'm sorry." I mumbled, looking at the water which was slightly moving around our feet. My head got lifted by JJs hand „Are you high?" he asked me, checking my pupils but I wasn't.

„No." I said, his touch did nothing to me but how I wished it would. I want his touch to do something to me, like Rafes does. „Fuck Lil." He whispered under his breath, turning around.

He took a few steps, walking around as his hands grabbed his hat off of his head and held it tight. I watched him in guilt and played with my bracelets.

I didn't had to say that, It wasn't okay with JJ, I have the feeling it wasn't. „I shouldn't have said that J, sorry." I told him, mumbling while I finally managed to look up at him.

He walked towards me, shaking his head. „You should've, that's the problem Lil." He said and I wrinkled my eyebrows. What does he mean?

„I love you, I will forever. But I also know that a part of your heart, even if it is only a slight one, will always belong to Rafe, no matter what happens." He told me, a hand of his brushing a loose strain of hair behind my ear.