God I Hate This Job - William Afton x Male Reader

Kleptophillia

if you were to ask me why I did so much comical censoring here I would tell you "I'm just trying to keep it teen & up (for now)" but the truth is? IT'S FUNNY. Like hmmm wonder what's in this super secret private box of secrets in the back of the readers closet!!!!!!!!!!!!! Who knows!!!!!!!! Maybe I'm just sleep deprived but I think this shit is fucking hilARIOUS 

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"Michael. Someone is in my house." Is the first thing you did when Michael picked up the phone. You stated it calmly through gritted teeth, anxiously standing in front of your apartment door like a child who was anxious to knock on their parents door after a nightmare. Michael sputtered as he tried to come up with a responde.

"Send me your address." He said frantically after a moment and you could hear him moving around on the other side of the phone. Now sounding more distant, you could hear him ask where the car keys were before getting into a conversation with who you could only assume was William. As the two talked frantically you sent Michael your address. He came back after a moment to talk to you directly. "Are you okay? What's going on?" He asked, the slam of two car doors accompanying his questions. You took a deep breath to steady yourself before you began explaining what was happening.

"I went to go do laundry at the laundromat because the fucking washer here is broken and when I left I must've left the door unlocked but I know I closed my fucking door because I slammed it behind me and when I got home it's been fucking opened and unless a fucking ghost came about opened my door, man!" You explained in a single breath, breathing in deep to make up for the lost air. Michael had assumedly put the phone on speaker for his father to hear, and you could hear their murmured talk though it was distant and a bit muffled.

"We're on our way, don't do anything to get yourself fucking killed you nerd." Michael huffed. You rolled your eyes, beginning to pace back and forth worriedly. "We should be there in 10 minutes." He helpfully added, hoping that it would calm you even the slightest bit.

"I should've never let Vincent stay at the laundromat with my laundry. I should've stayed there with him and left with him so he could be there and help me so I wouldn't have to bother you and William." You ranted frustratedly, tugging lightly at your hair as you became more and more frantic wondering why someone would want to break into your house or who. Who broke into your house? A neighbor? A stranger? Some fucking psychopath who wants to skin you and hang you on his (or her, could be a woman) mantle to fucking showcase you? 'Hey guys look at this fucking idiot who left their door unlocked what a loser' they'd say as they ate like raw human meat or some shit! You bet they're the one who probably stole your shirt too.

What if there were more of one? What if there were two, or three! There could be three men, woman or other waiting inside your fucking apartment to jump your ass! They could be watching you through the small crack in the door right now as you pace. Your head snapped towards the door, eyeing the small crack between the door and the frame. The two men on the other end of the phone must have realized your growing panic and tried to begin calming you the best they could. "We'll be there soon, don't worry." Michael said into the phone sounding just as fucking frantic as you were. What if the person in your house was a stalker? What if they wanted to kidnap and sell you? Your anxieties were definitely getting ahead of you here as your breathing became panicked and labored.

"Dear." William's voice came over the phone doting such a loving, tender tone and if you weren't panicking you would probably cream in your pants like a sissy. Okay that was an overstatement but the pet name was cute and got your mind off of the fact that, oh, you could get murdered and beat in a second if the person still in your apartment was, like, still in your apartment. "Calm down. Panicking will get you nowhere. We'll be there in no time, just focus on your breathing, alright?" William said over the phone, sounding leaps and bounds more calm than Michael was. You tried to do what he asked and focus on your breathing while pacing back and forth, keeping your eyes on the door like the thing that broke in was a weeping angel and couldn't get you if you stared at it. You realized that you should definitely totally tell your family about the man/woman/other/weeping angel/literal demon that may or may not be still within the confines of the nice apartment they were helping pay for. So you texted the family group chat to explain everything that was happening to them, fingers rapidly tapping your phone as you finally got a sliver of good news. William and Michael had finally arrived and were currently barging into the apartment building and trying to find you.