Khaani Reboot

A Step Closer

"Sanam phone mat kaatna please. Meri baat toh suno." He begs.

"Kya sunu? Tumhare bahane, jhoothi kahaniya? Ke kaise tumne Sarim ko nahi maara kisi aur ne maara hai, jiska proof tumhein aaj tak nahi mila mujhe dikhane ke liye? Aur- Aur tumhein bhi kya kahun, pagal toh main hun jisne tum par yaqeen kiya."

Hadi wipes his tears. "Theek hai. Agar tumhein yahi lagta hai, toh bas. Main tumhari zindagi se hamesha hamesha ke liye chala jaounga. Bhaaga nahi hun Pakistan se, woh toh apne baba aur bhai ke kehne par chala aaya, kyunki mujhe pata tha ki jab aur AGAR main guilty prove ho gaya toh mujhe wapis aana hoga. Lekin tum tension mat lo Sanam, main kal tumhare saamne hoonga. Aur agar sazaa milegi toh bhi milegi sazaa-e-maut, taa ki main tumhari zindagi mein kabhi vapis na aane paaoun, kyunki agar main bach gaya toh tumhara hone vala shohar nahi bachega, kyunki main tumhein kisi aur ke saath dekhne se pehle yaa toh khud marjoun ya usko maar dun." His tears turn into anger, and his voice changes from begging to sternly stating.

"Sazaa-e-maut?" Sanam laughs, "Bhool jao. Tum tadpoge Hadi, jail mein sari umar. Tumhein sazaa-e-maut nahi hone dungi main. Yeh mera vaada hai tumse." She says and tries to cut the call when she hears Hadi breaking while asking something.
"Aik-aik baat ka jawaab do. Kya tumhein kabhi bhi mujhse mohabbat nahi hui?"
Sanam's eyes stay wide and unable to answer, she cuts the call.

|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|

The next morning, Hamza comes to Hadi's room in the hotel suite to wake him up, as today is the day of event. But to his shock, he finds the room crisp clean, with no sign of Hadi or his belongings. He calls Momina, who is still in Pakistan to ask for Hadi, as he doesn't want to call Mir Shah right now and cause him to panic and lose his cool. He also tries calling Hadi endlessly throughout the whole day but to no avail.

At the end of the day, Sanam is getting ready for bed as she is in front of the dresser. She heard something on the balcony of her room. As she turns, there's nothing, but as soon as she looks in the mirror, she sees Hadi on the balcony door, which was open. Her eyes get enraged and she stands up to shout at him, but Hadi quickly comes up to him and places his hand firmly on her mouth.
As Sanam struggles to let go, he tried to calm her down.
"Sanam main tumhein nuksan pahunchane nahi aaya hun. Please bina shorr machaye meri baat sun lo? Sanam stares at him for a few seconds and then nods.

"Tumne kaha tha na main darpok hun. Dekhlo, vapis aa gaya. Kal hi police station ja kar gunaah qubool kar lunga." He says after he removes her hand from her mouth and takes her to the balcony so no one is able to hear them.
"Agar qubool hi karna tha, toh itna drama kyun kiya? Jisko maara us hi ki behen ki zindagi barbad kardi, hamari family ne tumhara kya bigada tha Mir Hadi?"
"Chaahe maine Sarim ko nahin maara Sanam, lekin main maanta hun ke is sab mein galti sirf aur sirf meri hi hai. Na main Sarim par gussa karta na woh Daniyal- khairr chhodo. Main toh gunaah qubool kar lunga, lekin I hope jo khooni hai usko sazaa milegi kabhi na kabhi toh."
"Yeh sab kyun keh rahe ho Hadi? Kyun meri dimag kharab kiya hua hai?! Aik taraf tum gunaah qubool kar rahe ho dusri taraf bol rahe ho ke tumne ussey nahi maara. Yeh kya tamasha kya lagaa rakha hai tumne."

"Jab tum kisi ki mohabbat mein kuchh karogi na Sanam, toh sab tumhein yehi kahenge ke yeh kya tamasha hai. Main mohabbat ki woh seedi chadh chuka hun jahan mujhe main toh dikh hi nahi rahaa. Aur meri mohabbat yani ke tum, tumhari khushi ke liye main kuchh bhi karunga. Aur tumne toh mujhe qaatil maana hai na, sab saboot aawaam mere khilaf hai toh maanogi bhi. 'Politician baap ki bigdi hui aulad', yehi sach hai. Aur main aawaam se justice system se aur TUMSE yehi expect karta hun ke mujhe kadhi se kadhi sazaa mile."
Sanam is left speechless. She has no other option than to fall down on her knees and beg Hadi for some closure.
"Hadi please main tumhare aage haath jodti hun, main thak gayi hun, bahot zyada." She lets out a cry.
Hadi immediately holds her up and covers her hands with own. "Sanam itna bhi sharminda na karo ke gunah qubool karne se pehle mar jaun. Bas kuchh din aurr ruk jao fir tumhein sukoon aa jayega." He sobs.

"Mujhe maaf kardo main iss tarah tumhare kamre mein aaya. Mujhe chalna chahiye. Aur haan, agar mujhe sazaa-e-maut mili toh aik baar mujhe apna chehra dikha jana." He says and smiles, like he said nothing of significance.
As he tried to get on the railing of the balcony to get down and leave, Sanam speaks out.
"Haan hui thi."
"Kya?" Hadi is clueless.
"Mohabbat, tumse."
"Hadi is in utter shock."
"..lekin ab nahi hai. Ab nafrat hai tumse aur tumhare wajood se. Lekin tum iss baat se bhi khush ho jaao ke tumhari wajah se mujhe apne aap se bhi nafrat hone lagi hai, ke maine aik khooni aik darinde se kaise mohabbat kar li jismein insaniyat naam ki cheez hi nahi hai. Hadi tum jitne bhi beqasoor kyun na banke dikhaao, rahoge toh tum qaatil hi. Sazaa-e-maut nahi tum roz maroge, aur roz meri nafrat tumhein lagegi."

Hadi gets lost into her words and gives her a hollow smile. He then continues going down from the balcony.

Sanam cannot contain her rage after he is gone. But she also doesn't want the justice to give him sazaa-e-maut. She hates herself even more for the way she feels and thinks.

|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|

Hadi has nowhere to go as he doesn't want to go back to his family. As he decides he will go to the police station right now. He wipes his tears and as soon as he  gets up, he sees a malang come up to him. He pats on Hadi's shoulder and says,"Oh jhalleya rona hi hai tan Allah de ghar jaa ke roh, ohde bache jado ohde ghar jaake ronde ne te duaa karde ne taan oh rooh nu sabar de dendaa ae. Haq Allah!" He points to the skies and leaves.

Hadi merely follows him. After some time they reach at a shrine. He sees a lot of people making duas and lost in their prayers. Everyone is so immersed in themselves and their duas that they are not able to see what is happening around them.

Growing up, Hadi's parents never got himself fully involved into his religion, and it made him miss a part of who he was. His heart feels a different kind of peace here, and he forgets all the world's problems.
He sits down and listens to someone reciting a beauitful qawwalli, and he immediately loses himself as he has a whole new perspective on life.

In that night alone, he gets so much submerged in this newfound truth that every word he hears and every prayer he says is changing his life one by one.

"Jab ishq Allah se kiya jaaye, toh uska koi mol nahi hota."