you and me, me and you

I like you

She walked towards me, it was only now that could see she had a smile on her face. Although everything appeared to move in slow motion, I can only remember the look on her face, and the clothes on her body stained with blood. She stood in front of me, eye to eye. I looked down at her lips and saw a softer, sweeter smile. I saw that soft smile open to speak

"I know," I had never heard their voice that soft, and quiet, "I know you do" 

I said nothing I didn't know what to say, the last time I confessed my feelings to someone I got screamed at like I was a psycho. I was scared that was about to happen. I was frozen, my hands were stiff, gripping my own fingers so hard my knuckles were white. I felt a warm hand over them, when I looked down, Bella had put their hand over my hands. I looked back up with a worried face. I still hadn't said anything. 

"I like you too" They said with a shaky voice. I breathed a sigh of relief. They liked me too. They liked me. It wasnt until now that I could feel my body. My hands were cold, and my whole face felt so hot and flustered. My legs almost gave way, they felt like jelly. What was I going to do now. What do I say, what do we do? They took my cold hand in their warm one and interlocked our fingers. 

"Lets go back to the trailer and talk" 

"Okay" 

We walked in silence, hand in hand, back to her trailer. They opened the door for me and led me to a couch. They sat me down. We were silent for about a minute until we both spoke, voices overlapping each other

"Yeah I-" "You w-" We said, "Sorry, you go first" They gestured 

"Yeah I... like...you" I pointed my head down and started biting the skin off my lip. They started laughing. I shot my head up 

"What?" I said, panicked. That was what Zana did. Exactly what she did. I brought my hand to my face as my eyes filled with tears and I started crying . I tried to stop and I couldn't. It felt like every tear that I never let myself cry was pouring out of my eyes. 

"Hey hey hey," Bella said hastily, they put their arm on my back, "what's wrong what happened?"

I tried to speak through sniffles, "I thought-" "I just thought that you were going to hate me" I tried to say normally but just ended up busting into another round of tears 

"I don't hate you- why do you think that? what's wrong?"

should I tell them? I feel like I owe them an explanation now that I've cried in front of them for the first time. "Its just that-" I sniffed and took a deep, shaky breath to stop myself from crying, "Its just that, the last time I told someone that, she laughed and she hated me-" I felt another round of tears coming on. "me and her were best friends and I- I ruined it and I got scared that you hated me" I said with my hands over my face, bawling again.

"I'm sorry I scared you, no I don't hate you. I was just laughing because-"

"because why?" I said sniffling 

"Because I just thought you were so cute"

I started smiling through wiping my eyes, and then started giggling through sniffles and shaky breathing. They giggled with me. 

I stood up, still wiping my eyes on my hoodie sleeves "I'm sorry for crying, I didn't mean to. I don't even know why I did. I'm really sor-" I was cut off by Bella putting their arms around my neck. My hands were tucked between both our chests as my forehead lay on her shoulder and her chin rested on my head. They pulled away and kept her hands on my shoulders, my head was down, breathing through snuffs. She put her head under mine, trying to get a look at my face. I started laughing, that kind of laugh you do after you cry and someone makes you laugh, suddenly everything is funny. We stood there and laughed for a few minutes. I totally had forgotten what had just happened as I was surrounded by their giggles. 

"You okay?" They asked as our laughter died down into soft chuckles 

"Yeah, I'm okay," I looked up and smiled, "Sorry for all the tears and snot I got on your sweater" I joked 

"It's okay, I'll cherish your snot" They said 

"Ugh, grossssss" 

They opened the door for me and I stepped out, a cold breeze hit my tear burned cheeks. I heard a click of the trailer door closing behind me as Bella stepped down the steps. They stood at the bottom of the stairs and took their round glasses off. They stepped towards me ad grabbed the bottom of my sweater, rubbing the lenses in between the fabric of it then squinting at the glass to see if it was clean. It made me nervous and excited, somehow. I felt butterflies rise and fall in my stomach and my chest as I breathed. I was staring at them, thinking to myself how somehow I had never found anything as attractive as what they just did. Cleaning their glasses. I widened my eyes in astonishment towards myself, 'calm the absolute fuck down' I thought. Bella looked up and smiled, squinted eyes through now clean glasses. 

"Do you want to go home? Its getting late" They offered 

"If you want to. I can stay here longer of you need me too"

"I think I only need to try one one more thing with Cynthia and then we can go" They said with a smile 

"Okay" I smiled back. I had forgotten why we were even back at set in the first place. My mind felt so blank and weird. I was trying to figure out what I was feeling, was I feeling numb? was I feeling feelings? I didn't know what I felt. I trailer behind Bella with my head down, and brows furrowed, investigating my own mind. I heard them turn around, as I was a few steps behind them. I looked up with wide eyes as they came to walk next to me and took my arm in theirs and walked back to the costumes trailer. We walked in silence, yet again with nothing but our shuffling feet to fill the space. 

"WAIT!" I stopped in my tracks, as Bella kept walking 

"Huh? What?"

"You forgot to get a snack!" I exclaimed with a worried face 

They snickered at me and walked back to take my hand in theirs, "Oh my god Mara".